Monday, May 13, 2013

Teen Sexual Activity vs. Teen Sexual Integrity. . . .

A couple of weeks ago a youth worker was talking to me about his experience reading my book Engaging The Soul of Youth Culture when he was a college student. As we talked about the parts of the book that were most helpful, he mentioned a three-word phrase that he said has stuck with him: "familiarity breeds acceptance." He says that as a youth worker, he's committed to knowing cultural forces that have become familiar to kids. Why? Because even those things that are wrong become normalized and accepted if they become mainstream in culture. Then, he knows what he needs to address from a biblical perspective. You see, few of us are really aware of our own worldview and how it shapes what we think and what we do. Rather, we believe that this is the way the world is and that other people see it this way as well. Familiarity does breed normalcy and acceptance.

I was thinking about how familiarity breeds acceptance as I pondered cultural changes that have occurred since George Michael took his song "I Want Your Sex" to the top of the charts 25 years ago (can you believe it's been that long?!?). I remember talking about that song to my own youth group kids and their parents as we discussed cultural standards and biblical standards for sex. That was back in 1987. Now that those kids are parents themselves, Michael's quarter-century-old lyrics describe the mainstream assumptions of the generation of kids those "kids" are now raising. 

Take a look at the lyrics (below). The words aren't instructive or suggestive as they once were. They've become familiar and accepted. Now, they are descriptive. . . 

It's natural
It's chemical (let's do it)
It's logical
Habitual (can we do it?)
It's sensual
But most of all.....
Sex is something that we should do
Sex is something for me and you

Sex is natural - sex is good
Not everybody does it
But everybody should
Sex is natural - sex is fun
Sex is best when it's....one on one
One on one

Sadly, those last two lines might even indicate that George Michael's sexual understanding is a bit old-fashioned in terms of present day understandings about the purpose, place, and practice of sex. 

This morning I was reading a passage from Acts, chapter 2. As Peter addressed  the crowd during his sermon at Pentecost, he called them to turn themselves around and embrace Christ. In verse 40 he tells them to "save yourselves from this crooked generation." As we think about what those words mean for us today, we're not talking about just one generation, but a crookedness and corruptness that has grabbed us all. . . weaving itself through every nook and cranny of every life. We need to identify with Jesus and his cause with every square inch and moment of our lives. This includes our sexuality. With the culture sending so many familiar sexual messages (it's become ambient noise that's hardly noticeable anymore) that breed acceptance, there's another sexual script that must be taught, told, and lived. Take for example the mainstream Trojan Condom broadcast ad that I've posted below. What assumptions does it make about sex and sexuality? And, do you realize that those assumptions exist without question in today's youth culture?

Here at CPYU, we want to see all people (including ourselves) embrace God's life-giving and liberating will and way for all things. . . including our sexuality. We want to know the truth so well that those lies which have become so familiar will become clear to young and old alike.

If you'd like to know more about how to help the young people you know and love embrace God's grand design and big "Yes!" for their sexuality, consider joining us for tomorrow's 1-hour webinar with Jason Soucinek, the Director of our new Sexual Integrity Initiative here at CPYU. The webinar - "Raising Up Youth Who Believe in Sexual Integrity" - begins at 1pm (Eastern Time) on Tuesday, May 14.  You can get more information and register here. We invite parents, youth workers, and pastors to join us. 


 

4 comments:

sharon chabal said...

Not sure why the Trojan condom ad on here?

Walt Mueller said...

Sharon. . . thanks for your question. . . if you read the blog you'll see why I've included it as an example. I referenced it in the blog.

Nigel said...

Man, I guess I'm on the outside of YM culture but the Trojan condom ad seemed to suggest to me that A) protected sex is better than unprotected sex B) Condoms are generally uncomfortable/uncool therefore try this variety and C) Sex is fun.

So are these messages wrong or is the Church afraid to admit that the messages are true?

(I don't ask this to be a jerk, I'm honestly curious.)

Nigel said...

Man, I guess I'm on the outside of YM culture but the Trojan condom ad seemed to suggest to me that A) protected sex is better than unprotected sex B) Condoms are generally uncomfortable/uncool therefore try this variety and C) Sex is fun.

So are these messages wrong or is the Church afraid to admit that the messages are true?

(I don't ask this to be a jerk, I'm honestly curious.)