Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Focus. . . On What It Is We Celebrate. . .

A prayer from The Valley of Vision. . . ponder it and may it bless you as you celebrate the birth of the Savior. . .

O Source of all Good,
What shall I render to Thee for the gift of gifts,
Thine own dear Son, begotten, not created,
my Redeemer, Proxy, Surety, Substitute,
His self-emptying incomprehensible,
His infinity of love beyond the heart's grasp.

Herein is wonder of wonders:
He came below to raise me above,
He was born like me that I might become like Him.

Herein is love;
when I cannot rise to Him He draws near on wings of grace,
to raise me to Himself.

Herein is power;
when Deity and humanity were infinitely apart
He united them in indissoluble unity, the uncreated and the created.

Herein is wisdom;
when I was undone, with no will to return to Him,
and no intellect to devise recovery,
He came, God-incarnate, to save me to the uttermost,
as man to die my death,
to shed satisfying blood on my behalf,
to work out a perfect righteousness for me.

O God, take me in spirit to the watchful shepherds,
and enlarge my mind;
let me hear good tidings of great joy,
and hearing, believe, rejoice, praise, adore,
my conscience bathed in an ocean of repose,
my eyes uplifted to a reconciled Father,
place me with ox, ass, camel, goat,
to look with them upon my Redeemer's face,
and in Him account myself delivered from sin;
let me with Simeon clasp the new-born Child to my heart,
embrace Him with undying faith,
exulting that He is mine and I am His.

In Him Thou hast given me so much that heaven can give no more.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Some Thoughts on Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty, and All The Hubbub. . . .

I've deliberately waited a couple of days to gather my thoughts and respond to all the craziness surrounding the suspension of Phil Robertson by A&E from his massively popular reality show, Duck Dynasty. To be honest, I've only read a few of the posts that are popping up all over the place in response to the news. And as much as I'd like to post a clear, concise, and direct response that sums it all up and puts it to bed, I can't.

But I do have some random thoughts that are all over the place and horribly incomplete. . . . and most-likely not very well stated. . . here goes. . .

  • Reality TV is anything but reality. It is scripted and mediated. In that sense, it is just like the article in GQ magazine. . . edited, scripted, mediated. . . who knows what Phil Robertson really said, how he said it, and in what context it was said. Anyone who's ever been interviewed by a newspaper knows exactly what I'm talking about!
  • Participation in a reality TV show never ends well. The genre has only been around for a short period of time, but in that short period of time we've learned that participation in a reality show changes things for people. There was that reality show that was filmed in my neighborhood. . . and we all know how that's continued to leave brokenness and scars on the family that was featured. Sadly, that story is not anywhere near over for those who participated. Keep watching the history of reality TV as it unfolds. It's not going to be pretty.
  • There was a day when I wanted people to think and talk just like I think and talk. I also thought that if they didn't think and talk like I think and talk, then they shouldn't be allowed to think and talk. Yes, that's censorship. And yes, that's a violation of the beautiful First Amendment right that we all have here in the USA. If we want to take that right away from anybody. . . be it Phil Robertson, GLADD, or GQ. . .  then we'd better be willing to have that same right taken from us. 
  • A&E can choose to do whatever they want as long as it doesn't break the law. . . and as long as the laws it doesn't break don't force Phil Robertson to break God's higher will and way. Seriously. I run a non-profit ministry. I never want to live in a world that forces me or our ministry to employ those who openly disagree with or undermine what we stand for. For example, in today's local newspaper I read that a local Methodist minister has been de-frocked for performing the Gay wedding of his son. The Methodist Church should be able to take a stand like that and hold to their historical and dearly held convictions. 
  • The issue that's caused all the commotion is one that is incredibly complex and one that we have to address with great care, compassion, and faithfulness. This story is not only evidence of that, but it should force us all to hit the books and hit our knees in preparation for grace-filled conversations and ministry. Read Acts 17 again. . . .
  • We live in a horribly complex and broken world. Why else would Jesus have to come? Isn't that the reason that we will celebrate what we celebrate next Wednesday? My friend Steve Garber posted this on his Facebook page last night, along with a picture of the U.S. Capitol building and a beautiful Christmas tree: "Wonderful and wounded, at the very same time. I suppose I have lived, and lived in Washington, long enough to have made an uneasy peace with the double-edged character of life. All day long it is both beautiful and broken. Some moments we... laugh, and other moments we groan. The U.S. Capitol is like that. On the one hand a glorious place, and on the other an awful place. Trying to hold onto both realities is very hard, especially if we require honesty. One temptation is for romanticism, imagining that things are always just rosy-- and they definitely are not. The other temptation is for cynicism, concluding that everyone and everything is as bad as bad can be-- and that is just not true. Walking underneath the wonder and beauty and glory of the Capitol tonight, I kept thinking about the fact that it is wounded and broken and awful too. Like life."
  • Finally, God's bigger than all of this craziness and He's got it all under control. Yes, we need to stand up for what God calls us to stand up for. But we also need to stand up in a way that brings honor and glory to Him. And by the way, while we are standing, we need to realize that there's nothing we can do to forcefully or legislatively change a person's heart, opinion, or understanding. Lest we forget, God has gifted us not only with His Son, but with His Holy Spirit. Holding to our convictions in a way that honors God and playing God are two different things. Sometimes we assume the latter position when we need to know our place and stay out of God's business. 
  • The whole world's watching. 
Finally, I've got a hunch. . . and a hope. . . that the Robertson's will handle this all just fine. And, if they wind up without a reality show, that's just fine as well. Life will go on for us all. There's even a part of me that wonders if God might not be saving the Robertson's from something by putting an end to it all.

So, let's get our focus this weekend back on celebrating the coming of Christ into the world.



Wednesday, December 18, 2013

"Great" Gift Ideas For The Kids. . . .

Attention all parents who are concerned for the safety and welfare of their kids - Looking for great Christmas gift ideas for your babies? How about a real gun, a few sticks of dynamite, a box of matches, a genuine circular saw, a carton of cigarettes, a case of beer, and one of these? . . .


What are we thinking? What are we becoming?

Perhaps more than anything else, this Fisher-Price Newborn to Toddler Apptivity Seat and iPad holder, tells us about our culture and ourselves. It tells us that marketers are brilliant at knowing us and exploiting our weaknesses. It tells us that we don't have the time to pour into and care for our babies. It tells us that we're willing to turn the parenting task over to media. It tells us that we're not paying attention to the American Academy of Pediatrics and their recent stern warning against allowing children under the age of two any screen time at all. It tells us that we're not as wise as we might think.

We have turned into a culture where me, myself, and I am an expert. . . and we fail to heed the warnings of those who might actually know better. What else could explain our willingness to immerse kids in technology to too early and too soon? Aren't we listening when research increasingly tells us that too much screen exposure changes our brains, changes the ways in which we read, and damages the ways in which we relate one to another? 

It makes sense that Fisher-Price is developing products that market research says will sell. But is sales potential the only justification for product development? Or, should Fisher-Price be motivated and directed by something greater? Shame on Fisher-Price for putting the Apptivity Seat on the market. But even more than that, shame on us for putting our babies into the Apptivity Seat. 

For more on how to prudently use the great gift of technology to the glory of God, check out our Digital Kids Initiative.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Youth Ministry Dilemmas. . . Tim Keller on Young People and Community. . . .

I ran across this great little two-minute interview that Jefferson Bethke did with Tim Keller. In the clip, Keller shares what he thinks are some of the best and worst marks of the emerging generation. An astute cultural observer who looks at the world through the lens of a solid and balanced worldview, Keller points out one of the frustrating ironies of the kids we work with. . . what it is that they aspire to and how they then fail to make that happen. In reality, all generations do the same thing in some way, shape, or form.

The real value of a clip like this is that it not only serves to inform us of realities we must recognize, but it sets the table for action on our part. In other words, if the table is set and we walk to it, we'd better sit down and sort it all out. We can't just walk away.

I'm wondering. . . what do you think of Keller's analysis? Is he on to something? And, if what Keller is saying is true, what are you doing to address and remedy the situation with the kids you know and love?




Monday, December 9, 2013

10 Things To Tell Your Students About Pornography. . . .

It appears that there might be a long-overdue shift taking place regarding our culture's stance on pornography. Yes, the church has been speaking out against pornography and it's horrible distortion of God's good gift of sexuality for years. Parents, pastors, youth workers. . . we've all been warning our kids about pornography . . . mostly from a Biblical/ethical perspective. Sadly, those warnings have usually elicited  criticism from a morally relativistic culture that when it comes to matters of sexuality believes "to each his/her own."

But the good news is that the culture-at-large seems to be listening to the growing number of warnings that are coming from the medical community, experts in neuro-physiology, social scientists, and even those who are sharing anecdotal testimonies to pornography's addictive and dangerous fall-out.

As a Christian, I am encouraged for the reason that this new push-back is testimony to the integrated nature of how God has made us. In other words, science is now telling us that something we've increasingly seen as benign or even virtuous is actually quite dangerous. God has indeed made our sexuality as a good thing. . . but we are indulging it out of the bounds of his plan. When we step out of the bounds of that plan, bad things happen.

Late last month, Scott Christian penned a piece for GQ Magazine - a men's mag that typically promotes boundary-less sexual activity - that looks at some of the statistics regarding pornography. It's worth a read and it's worth talking about with your students. We shouldn't be surprised that people are starting to "get it" when it comes to the porn pandemic. In his article "10 Reasons  Why You Should Quit Watching Porn", Christian passes on this list that comes from surveys of the NoFap online community, a group committed to abstaining from pornography and masturbation. Talk about these reasons with your kids. . .

1. For those addicted to porn, arousal actually declined with the same mate, while those who regularly found different mates were able to continual their arousal. It's known as the Coolidge Effect, or novelty-seeking behavior. Porn, after all, trains the viewer to expect constant newness.

2. One in five people who regularly watch porn admitted to feeling controlled by their own sexual desires.

3. 12 percent of NoFappers report watching 5 or more hours of Internet porn every week. 59 percent report watching between 4 and 15(!!) hours of porn every week.

4. Almost 50 percent of those on NoFap have never had sex in their lives, meaning their only experience with intimacy is purely digital.

5. 42 percent of male college students report visiting porn sites regularly.

6. 53 percent of the NoFappers developed a regular porn habit between the ages of 12 and 14. An alarming 16 percent said they started watching before they were 12.

7. 64 percent report that their tastes in porn have become more extreme or deviant.

8. Among 27-31 year olds on NoFap: 19 percent suffer from premature ejaculation, 25 percent are disinterested in sex with their partner, 31 percent have difficulty reaching orgasm, and 34 percent experience erectile dysfunction.

9. After committing to no masturbation/porn, 60 percent of those on NoFap felt that their sexual functions had improved.

10. And 67 percent had an increase in energy levels as well as productivity.

Once again, I want to encourage you all to learn as much as you can about pornography, its effects, and its remedy. A good place to start is with Tim Chester's Closing the Window: Steps to Living Porn Free.


Saturday, December 7, 2013

Tis The Season For Ridiculously Silly Songs. . .But. . .

I'm sitting in Washington Dulles Airport waiting for a flight. Should have been home last night. I'm aware of the fact that I'm not where I'm supposed to be. I want to be home right now and I should have already been there.

The music being piped over the speakers is the sentimental and familiar stuff that we hear every year at this time. . . old songs and new songs. Yes, they "warm" me up a bit with happy sentimental memories, but few serve to help me focus on the Gospel-hope of Christmas.

Last night, while I was stuck in the Toronto Airport and wanting to be home, my friend Gary Parrett posted an advent hymn he wrote several years ago. It's not sentimental. It's true. It's not memory-centered. It looks ahead. It's about the answer to the longing for our true, heavenly home that gnaws at us endlessly. It's about where we're supposed to be. Gary wrote this after hearing his pastor, Eugene Kim, preach an Advent sermon on Isaiah 25:6-9.

Thanks Gary! This is beautiful. . .

Upon This Mount

Upon this mount, the LORD of hosts
will spread a wondrous feast,

and welcome all to join Him there—
the greatest and the least.


A feast of treasures He prepares:
the finest food and wine.

And we, with hungry souls, await
that Day when we shall dine.


On this same mount, the LORD of hosts
the dark veil will devour

that keeps the world in mourning bound
until this very hour.


At last, our dreaded foe shall fall:
God's life shall swallow death!

And we, now fainting from the fight,
will praise God with new breath.


The Sovereign LORD will wipe away
all tears from ev'ry face,

and from his people will remove
all remnants of disgrace.

The LORD has spoken; it is done!
So say we all, "Amen."

God's word must surely be fulfilled
the Day he comes again.


In that Day, they will say of Him:
"This is our God indeed.

We trusted Him. He saved us all
in our great time of need.


This is the LORD; we trusted Him.
Hear how his praise resounds!

In His salvation we are glad.
Our joy shall know no bounds.”

Setting: Gary A. Parrett (2005) Tune: KINGSFOLD

Friday, December 6, 2013

Teens, Privacy, and Social Media. . . A Helpful Infrographic. . .

I'm on my way home from three days spent with some amazing people in Canada. . . the full-time staff at Muskoka Woods Sports Resort. They gathered for their annual staff retreat and long-range planning. I was there to reflect with them on changes in today's youth culture and how to best fulfill their mission in the midst of these changes.

Not surprisingly, one of the most-talked-about issues was social media. The sudden pervasiveness has brought sudden changes that require sudden and immediate responses. We are making an effort to provide information and resources on kids and social media over at our CPYU Digital Kids Initiative.

One of the safety issues is that of privacy. We need to equip our kids to guard their online experience. . . and we need to monitor that experience to be sure that they are engaging in online social interactions wisely. I ran across the infographic you see below earlier today and thought I would pass it on. It's an infographic that communicates the need for boundaries. Pass it on to the parents and youth workers you know.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Picked Last. . . .


All of us have things from our childhood that we think are better left forgotten. . . flushed from our memories. . . washed away forever. For me, it’s that seemingly never-ending chunk of my childhood where I was a late-bloomer in terms of any athletic ability. This was a tremendous liability in a pre-Xbox world where every waking minute we weren’t asleep or in school, all of us neighborhood boys were outside competing with each other in any variety of athletic contests. I was younger than everyone else, smaller than everyone else, and more expertly uncoordinated than everyone else. It stunk. . . and it hurt.

Even though I eventually grew in age, stature, and coordination, those years seemed to last forever. Now that I’m an adult, I still find myself swept back into those memories when I see or hear about kids enduring the same kind of stuff in today’s world. 

A few years ago, my wife and I were away from home for a speaking engagement. We found the local high school stadium early in the morning and got out on the track. After a few laps a freshman gym class came through the gate led by their female teacher. The teacher gave the students a choice, and quickly those who wanted to join a game of flag football separated themselves from those who were satisfied to just walk around the track. It just so happened that all the girls went straight to walking . The guys lined themselves up on the side of the field.

On my next lap around I saw something happen that took me back to that painful time in my own childhood. I saw something unfolding among the guys on the sideline that made me cringe. It was clear that during my last lap two “Captains” had been chosen. Of course, they were the two most athletic looking guys in the group. “Nothing’s changed,” I thought. They had already taken turns choosing teams and only 5 guys remained. The last “men” standing were a strange combination of skinny, overweight, and unathletic looking kids. I could tell how uncomfortable the whole thing was for each. I knew exactly what they were thinking and feeling. . . .”Why me, again?”. . . “Choose me, choose me, choose me please.” . . . “Oh God, please don’t let me be the last one chosen.” 

As much as I wanted to look over my shoulder to see who was picked last, I couldn’t. It was just too painful and it broke my heart. Why? Because I remember being there myself over and over and over again during my own childhood. Watching it happen in a gym class brought back all the painful feelings and it made me wonder what in the world that teacher was thinking. I was the youngest of the neighborhood boys who gathered every day after school to play the sport du jour. At the time I never thought about being the youngest. Instead, I always thought about consistently being the last one picked. I always dreaded it. It always hurt. It never got easier. I saw it all on the faces and in the postures of the last five. 

I’ve often lamented the reality that in today’s culture we sometimes try to be too fair. . . you know, everybody gets a trophy or ribbon just for showing up. No, we don’t want to reward mediocrity. But at the same time, we live in a world where, sadly, athletic prowess and achievement is the standard for value, worth, and acceptance. Do well, and you’re better than OK. Anything less and you’re worthless. In addition, narcissism is the default setting for our kids. Researcher Dr. Jean Twenge has studied the epidemic of narcissism sweeping through our culture. She’s concluded that millennials are the most narcissistic generation ever. They’ve grown up worshipping the holy trinity of “me, myself, and I.” As a result, they selfishly jockey to be first in everything, including any competition.

As parents and youth workers, we need to promote a lifestyle where all of life is informed by our faith in Jesus. This is the kind of transformational thinking and doing that the Apostle Paul instructed us to embrace in the opening verses of Romans 12. We need to strike a balance. That’s caused me to ask this question: Do we as parents and youth workers buffer kids from the pain of unjust pecking orders, or do we propagate that pain. . . even unknowingly? 

Here are three simple suggestions that I’d love you to consider consciously building into your own family and/or ministry to teenagers in an effort to strike the proper balance in a culture that’s horribly skewed in the wrong direction.

First, value every kid you meet as Jesus values every kid you meet. Youth workers. . . when the new kids come into the room, which kids are you drawn to? Think about it. Are there any patterns? Make an effort to go first to those who are usually gone to last. . . or maybe never gone to at all. Get their name, ask questions, and make them feel as important as they really are. Chances are that those who fall through the cracks everywhere else in life might fall through the cracks in your youth ministry. Remember, the same kind of narcissistic aspirations that infect youth culture infect adult culture. It doesn’t end when we grow up. Instead, we have to make a conscious effort to recognize it in ourselves. . . and then go out of our way to – with God’s help – make it disappear from our lives.

Second, be a model of affirmation. Look for and encourage the strengths in every student you encounter. Many kids not only have to suffer for not measuring up among their peers, but they also take constant heat from parents who believe that their kids are always falling short. Kids whose parents value the same things the culture values oftentimes live vicariously through their teens. I’ve seen and heard too many sad and painful stories over the years of parents whose socially-defined and pressure-filled expectations flattened and destroyed their kids. One of the saddest stories I remember was that of a guy who was on my high school football team. After Phil once again didn’t make it into the game, his frustrated and unreasonably expectant dad embarrassed him in front of a host of people as players and fans walked off the field. “Hey Phil,” he yelled. “When you get to the locker room you might want to get those splinters out of your rear end.” Phil was one of the most defeated and discouraged kids I knew. I’ve since learned that he took his own life before he turned 40. I fear that Phil was not only discouraged by those who made sure he noticed his lack of athletic ability, but who never took the time to recognize and encourage the abilities that God had given him. When you look for and encourage strengths you not only build resilience into kids, but you model an attitude that might just go viral in your group.

Third, never engage in the silly playground politics of choosing captains who pick sides. If you do, you’ll be stroking people who most likely don’t need the strokes, and you’ll be stabbing kids whose emotional bleeding has gone on far too long. There’s no place for pecking orders in our youth ministries.

Yes, God redeems our suffering and turns things around. In other words, getting picked last can build character and make us more sensitive as adults. In fact, my wife and I took a lap while talking about that very reality. She said, “It hurts, but we got through it!” “Yes,” I answered, “But I do fear for those kids who have nobody in their lives offering a positive, Godly adult presence that helped us weather this storm.” 

In the end, we don’t want to be parents or youth workers who pile on the hurt when the hurt might already be too much to bear. Our homes and youth groups need to be places that ooze these words of Jesus: “Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”