A train rolled into my tiny little neighborhood three years ago. About a year later, that train was making some noise as the wheels were starting to come off the tracks. Now, that train - as everyone with eyes and ears knows - has full-scale derailed.
For some reason, the world is enjoying watching this train wreck. To be honest, those of us who knew enough to see it coming can easily fall into the proud and self-righteous "I told you so" mode. To be honest, I have. And, it's even easy to wish ill-will on people who seemingly did everything they could to steer their train off the tracks through an endless series of unwise decisions and caving in to the ways of the world, thereby bringing all of this on themselves. Yep, let them get what they deserve. The Gosselin family has gotten themselves into a ridiculous mess. We watch them tearfully ask "Why?" and "What can we do?" and they look even more ridiculous. The curiosity factor is off the charts. Jon and Kate Gosselin and their kids are in trouble. We all know it.
I've remained publicly silent on this clan (that's become more than a blip on the pop culture radar) for a long time. Numerous people have suggested to me that I offer some analysis publicly, because I'm a neighbor and the President of an organization that promotes the well-being of kids The Center for Parent/Youth Understanding. It wasn't easy being quiet when you could clearly see what was happening. However, I think it was the right thing to do. As those who are around me know, there were times that I brought them up over the course of the last two years when I'd be out speaking. But it was all in passing. Youth workers at some conferences who could answer the fun little trivia question - "What current TV reality show features the CPYU office building?" -could win a book. Yep, our office was sometimes caught during filming. As the popularity of Jon & Kate Plus 8 grew among Christians who were thrilled to be watching one of their own, just about everywhere I went to speak I would tell people where I was from in Pennsylvania. . . which would be followed excitedly with the same question from unknowing and faithful fans who had blindly partaken of the J & K kool-aid: "Central Pennsylvania! Do you live near Jon and Kate?!? Oh, I love them!" I would quickly answer, "Yes. And you need to stop watching." My response was usually seen as heartless and would elicit protests. Sometimes a few words to back up my opinion were enough to convince people that reality TV is not reality. Usually, people looked at me like I was a heartless liar. . . more evidence of the fact that good-natured people sometimes naively prefer to believe their own fantasies, rather than the truth. There were good reasons why I'd answer that way. More on that in a bit. . . but first, some history.
I live in a little neighborhood in Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania, whose name has recently gotten increased publicity. It's called Westbrooke. We moved here in 1991 and were part of a small, very friendly, and intimate group of 37 young families who built our homes on the two streets that made up our development. We literally all knew each other. There was one way in and one way out of neighborhood. We walked, talked, played, cooked-out, shared meals, and waved at each other all the time. After a few years, a couple streets were added and our neighborhood more than doubled in size. Still, we remained fairly close. In fact, this Saturday we're having our annual neighborhood yard sale. There's still only one way in and one way out of our neighborhood. All this to say, while it has been decreasing in recent years because of mobility and change, friendliness and community has always been a mark of our neighborhood.
One of those original houses was built by the parents of the female half of my next door neighbors. I can look out my CPYU office window (which sits just across the street from that one entrance to our neighborhood), and still see that house. Tragically, my neighbor's father succumbed to cancer several years ago. Then three years ago, his widow was killed in a car accident. The brick house they had built on Andrew Avenue went up for sale. I can still remember my next door neighbor coming over in 2006 and saying, "We sold the house. Guess who's moving in?" I had no clue. He replied, "The sextuplet family." I had read about the local family in the newspaper because of the multiple births. But I knew little more. At that point, I don't think there was even a show. We were getting new neighbors. Not celebrities.
To be honest, I thought how fortunate it was that the Gosselin family was moving into a good neighborhood, especially under their circumstances. This was a family who would most likely need lots of help and support, and our neighbors had a history of generously giving it. In fact, back in 1991, the neighborhood pulled together to care for a young bed-ridden mother-to-be who lived in the house just across the street and to the left of the Gosselin house. She was locked-in a high-risk pregnancy with quadruplets. My wife, along with most of the other wives in the neighborhood, cooked their meals, tended to their needs, and sat for hours each day with the expectant mom over the course of several months. If help was needed, Westbrooke was a great place to find it.
But from the time they moved into the neighborhood until the time they left, generous offers of help, meals, etc. were turned away. . . and usually not with even a polite "thank-you." The stories are multitude. And, they are consistent. These offers were not given to celebrities, but to neighbors in need. Nobody in our neighborhood was starstruck. . . simply because these were neighbors and not stars. In addition, there was a growing awareness that something was just not right. One member of the marriage would walk the kids in their six-seat stroller and was willing to engage neighbors in friendly conversation. The other immediately developed a reputation for being rude, self-centered, and demanding. Those in our neighborhood who had known that person for years were not surprised. Sadly, the one who ruled the roost set the tone, and it wasn't good. Eventually, we never saw the friendlier half of the couple.
And now we know. The family's choice to live their lives in front of the world has yielded undeniable evidence that the train has not only derailed, but wrecked.
Why am I passing this on? It is not to gossip. It is simply to pass on some limited yet accurate context about a situation that has gone public because the primary characters in this sad, sad drama have chosen to throw themselves - and their children - in the limelight. My blog is occasioned by the Gosselin story as told publicly to the world by the Gosselins themselves.
For a minute, remove all the rumors and stories (many of which are true), and think only about how the family has chosen to present themselves. Think too about the fact that when the cameras are on, we usually put on our best smiles and best behavior. . . and then think - long and hard - about what that best behavior has been on this particular show. Then, imagine what life is like and how people act when the cameras aren't rolling. After taking that all into consideration, we shouldn't be surprised by the train wreck that's taken the world by storm.
The Gosselins moved out of our neighborhood just before last Thanksgiving to a new million and half dollar home. Ironically, we're consistently told by one member of the family that money is scarce. To be honest, our little neighborhood is relieved that the publicity blitz went into high gear after they moved. Yes, the media still shows up to film their empty house and interview neighbors. I saw them here yesterday. But for me personally, knowing that the story is continuing to unfold, knowing that all kinds of people are responding and throwing around opinions, knowing that this has become the cultural event of the year, and knowing that 8 precious little lives are being forever shaped for life by both their parents' decisions and the decisions of a world enamored by the story, I decided to break my silence and answer the question many who know I was a neighbor have recently asked. . . "What do you think?" So, let me weigh in. . .
First, none of us should be surprised by any of this. As I said before, all it took was a set of eyes, a couple of ears, and some basic common-sense and elementary-level discernment to know that the train that's wrecked was coming off the tracks for a long, long time. In my travels I am continually stunned and even saddened by the parade of starstruck people who adore this family as Godly heroes and Christian role models. Where is the discernment? It's not that the Gosselins are high-profile Christians who are going through the everyday struggles with sin. Rather, they've chosen to live a high profile life that is increasingly about eagerly embracing another way. Without a doubt, the kids are cute. Without a doubt, raising 8 young kids has to be difficult. But is that reason enough to overlook and even justify the horrible things that are being done and happening. . . and embrace a family that is obviously self-destructing before the world because of their habits and choices?
Second, we have to wonder why the train was allowed to continue to wreck even though it was heading off the tracks for a long, long time. Sadly, I think one or both of two things have happened. On the one hand, the people closest to Jon and Kate who could have been advising them wisely may have become so starstruck and enamored themselves that they didn't want to compromise their ability to rub elbows on a regular basis with celebrity. They didn't want to tell the emperor that he - or she - is not wearing any clothes. They didn't say anything. On the other hand, the stars themselves are so self-absorbed that they don't want to listen to anyone who might offer some good counsel, and yes - even Biblical advice. My guess is that it's a combination of both. Those who have been known to have spoken up have been systematically removed by the powers-that-be from the system. The result is the emperor can remain naked without being bothered. . . all the while enjoying the fact that the whole world's watching. Sadly, we're now at the point of becoming embarrassed by the emperor's ignorance.
Third, this train wreck called Jon & Kate Plus 8 offers a clear window into the human condition. . . and ourselves. This is a couple whose deep, deep narcissism has made them oblivious to each other, their kids, their extended family, old friends, wise living, and perhaps even the God they so blatantly claim to serve. It appears they've forgotten the everyday reality of their human depravity and the constant dangers that it poses. They've let down their guard. The evidence seems to point to the fact that they are eagerly engaged in the pursuit and worship of created things, rather than their Creator. Life has become about the things they can get. Kate is embracing the life of a diva. But they are not alone. Each of us has the seeds of the same thing sitting in our own hearts. While you and I can sit where we sit and pronounce it as wrong - and we should - I wonder what I would do if I had the opportunity to receive what they've received. I know what I should do. I can say what I think I would do. But I know what I'd be tempted to do. So if we are going to fulfill our responsibility to speak up and criticize, it had better be done in a humble spirit that recognizes beyond a shadow of a doubt that each of us is only one bad decision away from the same thing. . . or perhaps we're already dealing with this stuff but not for the whole world to see.
Still, that's not reason to remain silent when things are going horribly wrong. The chaos surrounding any kind of wreck requires analysis and intervention from people who still have their wits about them and who have some sense of not only what's going on, but what to do. People who have been in wrecks usually aren't in any condition to tend to themselves. They need outside help, and they need it fast.
Which leads me to this. . . we need to respond. Silence is not an option. One of the great lessons of history is that those who remain silent and uninvolved when a group of people are being oppressed (in this case, 8 small children) are not helping, but hurting the situation. Those people who choose to remain silent and not intervene by speaking up, have chosen to actively participate in the oppression. It's guilt by silence. In this case, two parents and 8 little kids are laying wounded on the side of the road.
So let me humbly suggest some responses. . . because I don't think it's too late for this couple and their family. God is in the business of redeeming all kinds of situations. To Jon and Kate, it's not too late for you to save your marriage and your family. To those who care about Jon and Kate (and we all should), it's not too late to do your part to see this thing redeemed.
To Jon and Kate. . . I don't regularly watch your show. I've seen bits and pieces as I channel surf, and sometimes I stop to watch just to see, well, who in the neighborhood you've caught on camera. I even thought I might make it on a few times. . . like the time I interrupted the kid's bike-riding lessons by driving my car into the camera's line of sight on a trip out of the neighborhood. I did, however, see the recent clip where you, Kate, lamented what's happening through your tears. According to my newspaper, so did ten million other people. You expressed confusion and said you didn't know what to do. I know you're smarter than that. . . you have to be. Here's what you need to do. . . and I believe you know it. . . pull the plug. Pull the plug and pull it now. The key to a redemptive and healthy resolution to this entire fiasco lies in your hands. From what I know, I think Jon will be right with you. Realize that the temptation will be to carry on so that you can accumulate fame and fortune. But as someone you and I both claim to know once said, "What does it profit a person to gain the whole world. . . and then lose his soul?". . . or, her husband and children? Please understand that I pass this on with a full knowledge of my own weakness and depravity. I trust you understand that I say this humbly. Keep it all plugged in and you will be one very rich and famous lady. You will also be facilitating a life under public scrutiny for your kids. They will not have a childhood. Keeping it plugged in will steal their childhood, steal your family, and promote a culture of celebrity-obsession gone wild. Pull the plug and pull it now. Kate, if you don't see what's happening all around you then you are a very confused woman who is so out of touch with reality that you need an intervention. If you do see it and you choose to keep it all plugged in, then you've exposed what's most important to you. Don't be like the rich young ruler who knew what he had to do, but walked away very, very sad. Jon and Kate, if you don't pull the plug, shame on you for what you're doing to your kids. Kate, don't let your definition of "multiple blessings" move from your 8 children. . . to the fame, fortune, and freebies that are now filling your life. If that's what you choose to do, you are exploiting your kids. If you don't pull the plug and pull it now, shame on you.
To TLC. . . you used to be called The Learning Channel. I wonder, what are you teaching Jon and Kate's kids? What are you teaching your viewers? I wonder, do you ever think about the welfare of those 8 children over and above advertising revenues and skyrocketing ratings? The right thing for you to do is the same. Pull the plug, and pull it now. If not, you need to be held accountable. You are exploiting the Gosselin kids and their family. . . and we know you're getting rich. And Jon and Kate, if TLC doesn't let you go. . . then you know for sure that they don't care one bit about you and your kids. TLC, if you don't pull the plug and pull it now, shame on you.
To the Paparazzi. . . . are you kidding me? Put your cameras away. Leave these parents and their kids alone so that they can do the right thing and get their family back on track. I know you don't care, but you are contributing to the ruin of 10 lives. Not only that, you are throwing chum that's feeding a sick frenzy of celebrity-obsession that sells lots of magazines and makes lots of money. . . and which is also ruining an entire generation. Shame, shame, shame on you!
To Zondervan. . . Kate's publisher. . . . and one of my publishers. . . you need to take a long hard look at what you are doing to promote a worldview, parenting style, and message about faith that I know doesn't line-up with what has historically been your solid commitments as a publishing company. What Kate Gosselin is now promoting is a faith that is nothing more or less than the world with a thin veneer of Jesus-talk. I know you care about children, youth, and families. You've published numerous books to build the Kingdom of God and to equip strong families. For several reasons, you need to step up and pull the plug. Sure, Kate can go somewhere else and find a publisher if she so desires. But if the books you are selling don't line up with reality, or if the books you are selling are contributing to a media fascination and frenzy that's causing the loss of both childhood and the lifelong emotional health for 8 precious children. . . then please, pull the plug. If you don't, shame on you.
To my brothers and sisters in Christ who have become so enamored with this family. . . exercise some discernment and do the right thing. Wake up and see what's really happening with the Gosselin family. Women, if Kate is your role model. . . then shame on you. Pull the plug on your TV and your star-struck fascination and give this family back their privacy. Don't watch. Realize that the two best things you can do for this family is to 1) pray for them, and 2) leave them alone. This may sound strong, but I truly believe it. . . If Jon, Kate, TLC, and others are exploiting this family, well, you know that makes us accomplices if we're buying into it all. If you can't funnel your fascination into this family away from voyeurism and exploitation and into prayer and privacy. . . then shame on you!
To the churches that are booking Jon and Kate to come speak. . . pull the plug. If you are truly about building the Kingdom and doing ministry. . . pull the plug. Do the Gosselins and your congregation a favor and don't try to draw people in to your building by capitalizing on their celebrity-status. If you don't break the engagements, shame on you.
And finally, to me. I know that I'm a part of the culture, the media world, the church, and the human race. While choosing to be silent would promote the downfall of this family, any words I speak about this situation have to come from an introspective heart that seeks humility, love, the Kingdom of God, and the greater good. What I say to myself is what I will say to everyone who is thinking about the Gosselins: You are no better. The seeds of what you don't like in them live in you. Your life and family are far from perfect. Keep looking in the mirror to see where you might be doing the same things. . . although not in a highly-publicized and public way that the world can see. And if you/I don't. . . then shame on you/me.
Jon and Kate, it's not too late. You know that. This mess you've gotten yourselves into can be cleaned up and fixed. My prayer is not only that you will do the right thing, but that the rest of us who have contributed to derailing your family will do the right thing as well.
227 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 227 of 227the best thing we should do, is to stop watching this program.
everybody there they want money, when the program is not popular anymore, they cannot get money.
Then, the kids will all be free and safe.
I note many bloggers berating Walt for "judging", stating that as Christians we are not to judge anyone. That is an inaccurate portrayal of biblical instruction. We are, indeed, to judge behavior of individuals. Paul certainly addresses the behaviors of individuals in different churches in the Epistles. He admonishes them, exhorting them to cease and desist that which is ungodly.
Your blog was passed on to me by a friend and I too have been saying for a long time....PULL THE PLUG! Your family doesn't need to be in the public eye to survive. You can make this work IF you that is your goal. I feel so bad for these children. I pray for them and hope for their future.
I disagree with you. I don't think it is fair for anyone to judge how they acted. What does it matter that you didn't get thanked for your meals??? Is that why you did it?? Have you ever had the stresses of 8 children at once? I am a mother of multiples and I can vividly remember how much it stressed me out when someone came over when the babies were first home. I wanted to be a normal mom and do things on my own. Is that wrong? Can you for a minute think that may have been how Kate felt? Sometimes, we don't want help. I think that's okay. In addition, the camera wouldn't always be showing a happy face with me, either. If you were being filmed all the time, can you honestly say you would be smiling constantly? That's not life and I appreciate the fact that it wasn't a "show" for the camera. What we saw is true life and I think that's more important than putting "on the best show for the camera." And, by showing the true ways of their life, that doesn't make them less of a christian either. I still make mistakes each and every day as did Jon and Kate. But, who are we to judge them?? Pull the plug? Yes, let's throw rocks at them and stone them. What if people decided to quit asking you to speak or quit buying your books because you sinned? That's wrong. I'd rather see a genuine person who makes mistakes than a person covered up with a mask. We need to pray daily for this couple and love them like Christ loves us. It's funny how our Christian society loves people that have the "outside appearance" of being a Christian. They say the right things, they do the right things, etc. But, when someone claims to be a Christian and messes up, we want to crucify them and tell them everything they've done wrong. This family is a real family with real problems and it isn't our job to analyze WHY things were done or WHY they made those mistakes. It is our job to pray, believe, and wait patiently for our God to work. God can and will use this situation for His glory...one way or the other.
Yes, yes, the ol "pull the plug" comment. HOw about we all "pull the plug" on your main source of income and support for you and your children? Great idea!
Please share with us the benefit of "pulling the plug"? Unemployment? The inability to pay bills? No health insurance, dental, or education? Yeah, great idea there.
You speaking up now is of no benefit to anyone, except to boost your blog. If you know these people as you claim you do, go help them. Go to their home and meet with them. Reach out to them on a personal level.
But I'm sure you won't do that. You're too busy enjoying the hits on your blog and riding that bandwagon of hate.
Here's an idea Anonymous. Maybe they can get jobs... I mean real jobs. I know, it's a shocking thing to expect of people to support their own children...
This show should be ended for the sake of the normal development of these children.
"Yes, yes, the ol "pull the plug" comment. HOw about we all "pull the plug" on your main source of income and support for you and your children? Great idea!
Please share with us the benefit of "pulling the plug"? Unemployment? The inability to pay bills? No health insurance, dental, or education? Yeah, great idea there. "
Maybe the two able bodied adults in this family of ten would need to get jobs in order to support the eight children they were blessed with. That's how the vast majority of large families handle their needs. The *adults* work. Jon and Kate would be an IT guy and a nurse if they didn't pop six of the eight kids out at once. How exactly does having eight children mean neither parent should? I mean seriously, there's a lot of parents of eight kids out there who manage to support their families without putting their toddler boys on the potty in the driveway for money. Is that Christian now? Letting strangers watch your children defecate for money? Thats what Christian parenting is? Living off the humilation of your children?
Those children are not going to thank their parents for this.
You criticize the Gosselins for "using their children" -- yet aren't you guilty of the same thing, using these children to promote your own cause? -- when people google the gosselins, isn't your blog gaining readership that you would have never had ? You profess to be a Christian, but my Jesus clearly said: Judge not, least you be judged. The Old Testament tells us to go privately to another to bolster them up -- how is making this public blog post going quietly to the Gosselins with your concerns ? How was your own pride bolstered when you "casually mentioned" you lived in the same neighborhood as the Gosselins in your speaking engagements ? If you had real concern about the children, why didn't you contact child protective services instead of blogging about them ? Why did your neighbors continue to barrage Kate with offers of help after she refused -- maybe she had learned that she couldn't trust people because the next thing she knew, they'd be blogging about her publicly -- and yes, one half of that couple was "friendler" -- he's been especially "friendlier" with young women, flaunting them in public and starting rumors of infidelity of his spouse in order to mask his own, and purchasing very expensive gifts for these women using money that never went to his children -- maybe that's why the "not nicer" of the couple was so controlling over the purse strings -- did you remember that she went back to work full time two months after giving birth to six babies -- you owe the Gosselin family a huge apology -- and next time you make an entry in your blog, may I suggest you pray and read your Bible first and ask yourself: would Jesus speak about this couple in public forums -- would he have mentioned them in his sermon on the Mount -- Oh, by the way, while you're enjoying your fish and bread, I live in the same neighborhood as the Gosselins -- wanna hear some dirt about the mother ? And while you're at it, you may want to gather some stones from your yard, since apparently you feel you are in a position to toss the first stone --
shame, shame on you !
"You criticize the Gosselins for "using their children" -- yet aren't you guilty of the same thing, using these children to promote your own cause? -- when people google the gosselins, isn't your blog gaining readership that you would have never had ?"
So no bloggers should ever share their opinions about anything ever, because doing so might possibly lead to increased readership. Right.
"f you had real concern about the children, why didn't you contact child protective services instead of blogging about them ?"
This is just a stupid, inflammatory, perjorative question, and a huge oversimplification. "Permissible by CPS standards" doesn't equal "the right thing to do," or even "morally/ethically correct."
"Why did your neighbors continue to barrage Kate with offers of help after she refused -- maybe she had learned that she couldn't trust people because the next thing she knew, they'd be blogging about her publicly --"
The idea that Kate didn't want anyone paying attention to her because she was afraid of publicity is laughable, given the fact that she and Jon shopped pregancy and infant videos around hoping to land a TV deal and were ACTIVELY giving print interviews during and after her pregnancy.
"and yes, one half of that couple was "friendler" -- he's been especially "friendlier" with young women, flaunting them in public and starting rumors of infidelity... did you remember that she went back to work full time two months after giving birth to six babies -- you owe the Gosselin family a huge apology --"
Yup, Jon appears to have screwed up. As for the rest of your point: Actually, Kate herself claims that she never left the house for nearly the first two years of the sextuplets' lives, so I'm not sure where you got the idea she went right back to work.
"You profess to be a Christian, but my Jesus clearly said: Judge not, least you be judged. The Old Testament tells us to go privately to another to bolster them up -- how is making this public blog post going quietly to the Gosselins with your concerns ? How was your own pride bolstered when you "casually mentioned" you lived in the same neighborhood as the Gosselins in your speaking engagements ?...and next time you make an entry in your blog, may I suggest you pray and read your Bible first and ask yourself: would Jesus speak about this couple in public forums -- would he have mentioned them in his sermon on the Mount -- Oh, by the way, while you're enjoying your fish and bread, I live in the same neighborhood as the Gosselins -- wanna hear some dirt about the mother ? And while you're at it, you may want to gather some stones from your yard, since apparently you feel you are in a position to toss the first stone --"
I am so tired of people misusing Jesus' words regarding judgment. Holding the Gosselins to the standards that THEY CLAIMED FOR THEMSELVES is not "JUDGMENT" in the negative sense of the word. The author clearly stated that he and others TRIED to befriend Kate and were summarily rejected; I think the author fulfilled his obilgation to scripture.
Since you're so quick to ask others "Would Jesus do what you've done????" ask yourself this: Would anyone who claimed to be a true Christ-follower force their children to live their lives and flaunt their most intimate moments (including nudity and bodily functions) in front of TV cameras? Would Jesus advocate forcing eight children to participate in the disintegration of their family for the entire world to witness? Would Jesus speak casually to the media about childrens' PRIVATE reactions to hearing that their parents are divorcing, all to make a buck?
Would your Jesus be more outraged on behalf of Jon and Kate, or on behalf of their helpless children?
Really, I could give two hoots about Jon and Kate. Those children deserve a NORMAL CHILDHOOD and I hope to God they get to have a taste of normalcy before they grow up.
Both of my parents are children from families of 8+ kids, and although they did not grow up with free trips and goodies, they did grow up to lead normal lives. My point? You don't need a TV show to support a family of 10. Using that as your justification for supporting the show is sad, really. They make a very large sum of money PER episode... had they lived humbly to begin with, they could have pulled the plug years ago and sent each child to college and lived comfortably.
A lot of folks seem to be missing the point of this blog and casting stones because they feel like a stone has been cast. But the truth of the matter is... this family has fallen apart and the affect it will have on these kids is unmeasurable. Divorce is difficult enough as is in private can you imagine how difficult when it is being reported on everywhere?
There are people here that are using this blog to try and get more people to go to a site that is some sort of answer to GWOP, but what does that have to do with this blog? I'm sorry that you disagree with the views of that blog, but you don't have to go there or read any of that stuff. Why we engage ourselves in things that infuriate us, is beyond me. That is why I stopped watching the show...But I've moved my attention to try and get others to stop watching as well.
There is one comment in particular that I wanted to respond to... a person who said they have decided to continue watching the show, lest they take an opportunity away from God to help the Gosselins. Take away an opportunity from God? God can take any circumstance and any situation and turn it into a blessing. Pulling the plug on the show will not stop God from helping the family. God can also help them to provide for their family without the income from the show.
I know there will be people who will probably nit-pick at my own comment and point out where I am being a hypocrite and that is alright. Lucky for us we were also granted free-will by God.
This is an excellent article; well thought out and your logic is impecible. You obviously have a deep understanding of human nature and, more importantly, the ability to express it.
It makes me sick that the"parents" of these 8 inncoents are spending the money these children have earned on homes,cars,lots of trips to the spa and a bikini wardrobe that would rival a swimsuit model.They live in a state that does not make them deposit 15% into an account for these children,is this by design? I think it is-they are driven by greed and the saying"we do it all for the kids" has worn very thin.If you in any way urge this train wreck to continue down the track --SHAME ON YOU.The gravy train must stop and the parents need to get off and start being parents and not parasites.What happens when the cameras stop-- 9 yr olds are not all that cute anymore.that day will come and then what?It makes me sad to think how much therapy these children will need in the future-being the bread winners for this family is bad enough but to see your parents having out of marriage relationships,dad jetting all over with different blonds and mom having a "relationship" with the bodyguard under the childrens noses-- these people are raising 8 disfunctional soon to be adults-I feel very sorry for them--the parents not so much-I think these children were by design concieved to be meal tickets..neither parent works unless you count working the system and pimping out your children a job.Please stop watching this show and bombard TLC with mail expressing your distaste of exploitation of children.If we all make a small effort we might be able to help these children...no one else seems to want to. I pray for these children you should to.
My two cents worth . . . a very thoughtful and insightful blog. I know that there will be many problems down the road for these children because of the limelight.
Saying that, I didn't grow up in the limelight and have had severe problems from growing up in an alocoholic home (both parents). Through my struggles and of never having known or experienced love and acceptance and living on the edge most of my live, I have searched with all my heart (with many people along the way praying for me) and found Him. I'm still imperfect and return to my brokeness . . it brings tears to my eyes. Not just because of my failure, but mostly because His love and forgiveness, mercy and grace is alway there ready to embrace me . . . any shame I feel is from "man", not Jesus. There is no shame in Jesus.
So, yes, this family is struggling and breaking for many reasons.
The power of prayer is so amazing! He is so faithful! Pray for healing, mercy and grace abundently for the whole family. Pray in love, not in judgement.
I fail often, and I am so thankful His love is always present and ready to accept me for exactly for who I am.
I'm in agreement with most of what you wrote Walt.
That being said, I don't think that anyone can accurately analyze the meteoric rise of Jon and Kate and their near implosion without also examining how some of their family members have responded.
Under the guise of child advocacy, the sister of Kate's sister-in-law has started a blog that has criticized even the most trivial aspects of their parenting.
That wouldn't be so bad except that she has also participated in a hate blog that has posted comments predicting the children will have all kinds of mental illnesses, hate each of their parents, become drug dealers, etc. This blog has also openly mocked the size of the parents rear ends, their hair, their weight, and even their private parts.
This distantly connected family member has also participated in an internet hoax that involved a woman who claimed that she was a former volunteer who had inside information . . . all completely unfavorable . . . and all complete fabrication.
All under the guise of child advocacy.
This distantly connected family member has funneled tidbits to the tabloids and paparazzi while she simultaneously claimed to have deep concerns about the children living their lives in a media fishbowl.
Kate's brother and his wife have given interviews to radaronline and whispered the word "cheater" in reference to their own sister/sister-in-law -- the mother of the 8 children for which they supposedly have so much concern.
And did I mention that inexplicably the mortgage on their home was almost miraculously paid in full.
The Gosselin drama is ultimately a story of a great miracle followed by betrayed trusts, exploitation of relationships and A LOT of adults behaving badly.
I am shocked at some of the respondents of this blog. Those of you who have condemned this for being "judgemental" (aren't you judging him for judging? Hello, it's impossible not to judge.) Those of you who have stated that the author was prideful. Did he not state openly and honestly in the piece that he wrestles with pride himself. This is not gossip. This is someone standing up for what is right in a hope to protect these 8 children, their parents, and those who will choose to make life decisions based on their example. He even addressed a publisher who has published his own books! Would it not have been easier for him to stay silent on the issue. It is clearly not done as a self-promotion! It was done with integrity. He is absolutely right, we at home can take this matter to pray. Prayer does change things, prayer make a difference. Then we can make the choose to turn off the TV! And I know that those of who are choosing to write negative comments are only doing it because you don't want to admit that 1. your wrong in still watching the show. And you don't want to quit watching it because your hooked. and 2. You don't want to admit that you are or have made similar bad decisions in your own lifes.
Thank you for bravely standing up for what is right. You have made a difference. I will be adding Jon and Kate and those children to my prayer list. I have not only stopped watching, deleted my season's pass on tivo to the show, but have also blocked the TLC on my satelite, no one in my family will EVER watch anything on TLC until or if they stop what they are doing.
Walt: I very much appreciated your comments. I found them caring and fair to all involved. The show used to be one I looked forward to watching. It became one that made me uncomfortable because of the demeaning treatment of Jon and now is one I will not watch. It is not a reality show. It is an edited version of a managed family. It is sad.
I am a single mother of adult twins and I enjoyed watching it for quite awhile but I started seeing some real verbal abuse from Kate to Jon which really bothered me, after awhile it felt like maybe these beautiful children were being exploited. The spending bothered me, the manicures for all the girls, the fancy clothes, all those expensive play houses...it seemed like these people were spending money like it was always going to be there. What happens when the show ends? It's not like these are talented people, they are making 3 million dollars a year doing this show and don't appear to be putting much of it away or investing for when the show is no more. Even though you state many religious reasons why they should pull the plug..this whole thing is just so self destructive on many levels. Those children are going thru such a rough time and TLC is going to film it? But these people have no way of supporting these children in the manner they have insisted on becoming accustomed without TLC but I stopped watching the show some time ago and I agree...Pull the Plug, I even wrote to the TLC channel and asked them to but it's all about the almight dollar so I doubt that will happen anytime soon unless enough people are convinced this show is just wrong.
While your article is well written and makes sense to a degree - I cannot help but find you hypocritical as you preach about letting the Gosselin's have their privacy. You speak of TLC, publishers, paparazzi and the likes benefiting from the demise of this family are you not benefiting from writing this? I know you have gained a few readers just by writing of this topic... Me for one.
What you are doing in writing this article is not helping... you are drawing attention to yourself - using the Gosselin's as a means to bring in readers of your own. That is the very reason I read it. Your article did nothing more but exploit them as well. Nobody has really learned anything from this, and as much as the other people who have posted say that they will stop watching, etc - they won't! Do you really believe this article has done something to help the Gosselin's? I'm sorry but it hasn't. Your silence would do more to help the situation -- this is just another plug for them... good or bad publicity is still publicity! A plug for them and a plug for you... that is all this article is.
Silence in regards to this family is the way to go... reporting on them over and over keeps the fire burning!
I stopped watching this show the first time Kate slapped John in the face...He should have stood up to her a long long time ago. To Kate - any woman that would slap her husband in the face on TV needs some guidance!
This blog entry makes me uncomfortable. What does the bible say about casting the first stone?
In case you aren't aware, there is a large group of people, mostly women, who post like mad-things daily on a couple of hate blogs. They discuss everything imaginable about the Gosselins. They actually think it is their right to find and reveal divorce proceeding records,real estate records, social security numbers and banking information, info about the kid's school, doctor and the family church. They contacted Playboy magazine to find out if Kate was indeed offered a contract. They tracked down the dog's breeder and contacted the local SPCA. They brag about going to the house and they discuss the possibility of going to events where Kate is speaking to heckle her. Their language is horrible and many of them delight in name calling. Most of the comments are just petty and immature, but many are also dangerous.
I feel that with this blog post you are just adding fuel to their fire, and encouraging their most un-Christianlike behavior. I have seen your comments discussed on both of the blogs.
I'm sorry, you might have good intentions posting this stuff about the family, but at this point I'm having a hard time imagining what they are.
It amazes me to read your blog, again, to see where jon is the good guy, and kate the bad guy...
In light of recent events, i think true colors are being shown, kate has not gone a media blitz bashing her husband, she HAS taken the high road. He can blame himself for the mess of his life, and now that the $$ will stop rolling in, he wants the divorce stopped, and the show stopped. When 3 weeks ago he announced how much he despised kate, and how hailey is his soulmate?
Stop demonizing Kate, and blaming EVERYTHING on her...
Pray for this man who seems to be having a complete breakdown before our eyes...
So you lived across the street, well bully for you. you didn't live in their home, and know what was going on, so don't pretend to... holier than thou?
I can understand Kate & Jon both being aw struck by their new found fame and money. It is sad to see how their marriage has ended. I have been divorced once after being beaten and left in my yard. I can barely pay my bills and I don't know if my kids will have the opportunities of college, but they Are filled with love. I can understand going to the ends of the earth & doing whatever it takes to provide for my children. Coming from a family of 6kids on McDonald wages, I know what going without means and love how Kate won't let her family go without anything, even if it means looking like a wolf on TV for all to see and judge.
God bless you brother. Apparently its okay for so called christians and others posing under the name of anonymous to call you a hypocrite and judgemental and question your motives but never ever think they are guilty of doing the same. Wow and their misuse of judge not and casting the first stone also never ceases to amaze me.
On that note I enjoyed your blog it was refreshing to have a believer say what I have felt for over a year and stopped watching and that the show needs to stop and yes for all the haters of Walt I have contacted TLC/Discovery channel and never heard back from them. I also complained to the CRTC here in Canada. The children are victims and that is my main concern is the children. I have stopped watching TLC and discovery channel. I don't watch any reality shows thanks to TLC.
This show is just a reminder of how quickly things can go wrong when we put money before family and especially putting things of this world before our saviour.
Sorry for the anonymous post, but I don't have any account that would allow me a screenname.
I am neither a parent or a Christian, but I still know a bad situation when I see one. This is one of them.
To those saying that Walt is "judgmental", I say that is just part of being human. We use good judgment or bad judgment, for better, or worse. The Bible, from what I understand, has this thing about "reaping what one sows". The heathen version would be, I guess, "bed, made, lie."
I don't know if I could stand on the sidelines and watch this family implode without saying something. And yet, for many weeks/years, people have been tuning in to do just that.
I think of how those children will someday look back on their childhood and see how fame and fortune robbed them of simple pleasures. Most importantly, it robbed them of a mother and father who loved each other.
Is it really worth the trips, the freebies, the surgeries, when the cost is really the usurpment of one's childrens' privacy and dignity? I don't think so.
Think what will happen to these kids in a few years, when they try to break from their childhood personas and grapple with the task of being individuals, not just "one of the 'tups." Sociologists account the high rise of teens getting tattoos and piercings as the result of not having anything else to rebel with against the confines of juvenality. I wonder, what will they turn to, since they've already swum with dolphins, rode horses at a dude ranch, did Disney, and all the other things that maybe, MAYBE, most regular kids might have ONE of those experiences in their entire childhoods. They will most likely turn to drugs or lurid behavior, in an effort to break free from a life spent posing for the cameras.
So sad. Shame on TLC. Shame on Jon and especially, Kate. And shame on all those who use science to create children, but call them blessings and miracles. They are not miracles or blessings. They are science experiments with real lives and personalities. If you are a true believer, and the Lord you believe in decides to NOT bless you with little ones, who are you to "play God" and just whip up a batch of your own, and then, wrap them up in the veneer of a reality show, that is hardly reality. Perhaps, if you are true to your faith, you will understand that not everyone is meant to be a parent. I don't believe Jon & Kate were meant to be parents. I don't think a loving God did, either. It's glaringly obvious to anyone with functioning eyes that they were not meant to be parents.
I thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak my mind. I wish you (Walt) luck in your endeavor to get the word out as to what "reality childhoods" amount to.
All your pontificating is pointless. Who will feed, clothe and house these 8 children? All you who are pointing fingers....are you ready to send Kate money every month so she can single handedly support her children? Seems to be Jon does not have the skills or motivation to help Kate support his family.
Walt,
In the two years that have passed, this blog entry has proven to be prophetic as well as grace-filled.
Thank you for having so gently and courageously told the truth about this situation.
And for reminding us that discernment is not only compatible with a healthy faith life, it is required of us. God gave us minds and he expects us to use them.
Wow, I get the feeling had you been caught on camera you would not be so harsh and bitter today.
The only thing you came up with is they refused offers of help and then you go on a rampage denouncing them for that. For refusing help.
Why is refusing help such a horrible horrible thing to you? Why? I don't get it..
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