I couldn't let the day pass without posting this wonderful little video that I stumbled on this afternoon. It's all about perspective. The good news - as we've always trumpeted here at CPYU - is that relationship is so important to parenting. Enjoy. . . .
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Halloween, Death, and That Encouraging and Hopeful Cloud. . . .
For two hours tonight our street will be crawling with hundreds of zombies, ghosts, and perhaps a few skeletons. There will be other reminders of the realities of spiritual brokenness, death, and decay walking the streets as well. Sadly, some of those reminders walking our street will be little girls who have been allowed to dress for the night like street-walkers. . . but that's a whole other subject.
In many ways, the candy-infused "sweetness" of Halloween glosses over many of the reminders of the fact that things on this earth are not the way they're supposed to be. . . we get sick, we suffer, and we die.
This morning, my journey into today's entry in Scotty Smith's Everyday Prayers reminded me that in reality, today is better known as "All Saints Day." Scotty begins today's prayer by reminding us of the words of Hebrews 12:1-2. . . "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith." Scotty goes on to pray, "This is the weekend we celebrate All Saints' Day - a time for remembering our faithful brothers and sisters who have gone on before us into heaven, leaving us examples of commendable spirituality. It's also Halloween - a celebration of hideous attire, doorbell ringing, and tooth decay. I never really thought about how much these two seemingly antithetical dates have in common until now."
I'm thinking the same thing this morning, thanks to Scotty's prayer, the date on the calendar, some remembrances of folks who now inhabit that cloud, and a death that occurred last night. You see, it was 10 years ago yesterday that Mike Yaconelli, co-founder of Youth Specialties, died in a car accident. It hit many of us in the youth ministry world hard. Mike and co-founder Wayne Rice had spoken deeply into my life as I was trying to figure out how to best minister to kids. Mike and Wayne gave me and CPYU a platform from which to communicate our message. I am indebted to them both for many reasons. I've been thinking quite a bit about Mike over the last few weeks. One of the best treats was sharing dinner around a table with Duffy, Marv, Tic, and Mike's son Mark a few weeks ago. I hadn't laughed like that in awhile. . . much of the laughter prompted by remembrances of Mike and his antics. This week, I was also reminded of the sting of death when my dear friend Rich Van Pelt posted this short message on Facebook: "Missing my Mom a bunch tonight. Hard to believe that it's already two years since she was welcomed into the presence of Jesus." And then last night, my friend Duane Smith lost his wife Karin after an especially difficult and trying battle with cancer. No. . . things are not the way they're supposed to be. But thanks be to God that He made a way for there to be so much more to the story. It doesn't end there.
Today, Mike Yaconelli, Mrs. Van Pelt, and Karin Smith are part of that cloud that surrounds us. I'm thinking about the finish line. I'm thinking about how we think about the finish line. . . that it's a dark place, when actually it's a place of great joy.
On Monday I snapped this picture while standing on the rocks at the end of Bearskin Neck in Rockport, Massachusetts. For years this has been one of my handful of "happy places." I can sit there for hours at a time. Monday's sky was astounding as it stretched out over the ocean. The clouds swallowed me up in their beauty. I couldn't help but thank God for the gift of my eyesight. I take it for granted most of the time. But it struck me on Monday just how much I need to consciously appreciate the ability to look at things like this. What a gift of God those clouds were. And what it is that they represent as we read Hebrews. . . . well. . . . that's an even greater gift.
In many ways, the candy-infused "sweetness" of Halloween glosses over many of the reminders of the fact that things on this earth are not the way they're supposed to be. . . we get sick, we suffer, and we die.
This morning, my journey into today's entry in Scotty Smith's Everyday Prayers reminded me that in reality, today is better known as "All Saints Day." Scotty begins today's prayer by reminding us of the words of Hebrews 12:1-2. . . "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith." Scotty goes on to pray, "This is the weekend we celebrate All Saints' Day - a time for remembering our faithful brothers and sisters who have gone on before us into heaven, leaving us examples of commendable spirituality. It's also Halloween - a celebration of hideous attire, doorbell ringing, and tooth decay. I never really thought about how much these two seemingly antithetical dates have in common until now."
I'm thinking the same thing this morning, thanks to Scotty's prayer, the date on the calendar, some remembrances of folks who now inhabit that cloud, and a death that occurred last night. You see, it was 10 years ago yesterday that Mike Yaconelli, co-founder of Youth Specialties, died in a car accident. It hit many of us in the youth ministry world hard. Mike and co-founder Wayne Rice had spoken deeply into my life as I was trying to figure out how to best minister to kids. Mike and Wayne gave me and CPYU a platform from which to communicate our message. I am indebted to them both for many reasons. I've been thinking quite a bit about Mike over the last few weeks. One of the best treats was sharing dinner around a table with Duffy, Marv, Tic, and Mike's son Mark a few weeks ago. I hadn't laughed like that in awhile. . . much of the laughter prompted by remembrances of Mike and his antics. This week, I was also reminded of the sting of death when my dear friend Rich Van Pelt posted this short message on Facebook: "Missing my Mom a bunch tonight. Hard to believe that it's already two years since she was welcomed into the presence of Jesus." And then last night, my friend Duane Smith lost his wife Karin after an especially difficult and trying battle with cancer. No. . . things are not the way they're supposed to be. But thanks be to God that He made a way for there to be so much more to the story. It doesn't end there.
Today, Mike Yaconelli, Mrs. Van Pelt, and Karin Smith are part of that cloud that surrounds us. I'm thinking about the finish line. I'm thinking about how we think about the finish line. . . that it's a dark place, when actually it's a place of great joy.
On Monday I snapped this picture while standing on the rocks at the end of Bearskin Neck in Rockport, Massachusetts. For years this has been one of my handful of "happy places." I can sit there for hours at a time. Monday's sky was astounding as it stretched out over the ocean. The clouds swallowed me up in their beauty. I couldn't help but thank God for the gift of my eyesight. I take it for granted most of the time. But it struck me on Monday just how much I need to consciously appreciate the ability to look at things like this. What a gift of God those clouds were. And what it is that they represent as we read Hebrews. . . . well. . . . that's an even greater gift.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Sounding A Warning On Kids And Screen Time. . . .
There were four of us at our table, and four at the table next to us. It was a beautiful waterfront restaurant that was the perfect setting for good conversation. . . and we had it! But the young family of four sitting next to us had made choices that were keeping them out of the conversation loop. In Sherry Turkle's words, they were "alone together."
There they were. . . almost knee to knee around the small round table. But each member of the family was "absent" from the other as they all focused their attention on separate screens. For mom, dad, and the the oldest daughter (maybe 8 or 9?), it was their smart phones. For the youngest daughter (all of 3 or 4-years-old), it was a tablet propped up on its pink cover just inches from her face at eye level. A large set of pink headphones covered her ears for the duration of the meal as she focused her eyes on the animated movie playing on the screen. She ate her food in a trance-like state. In the immediacy of the moment, those screens were keeping them far, far apart from each other. Who knows what the long-term effects might be.
This scenario is playing out more and more in our culture as technology advances and we find ourselves purchasing and living with more and more tools. It's been about 50 years since Marshall McCluhan said that "we shape our tools and afterwards our tools shape us." There's shaping going on right under our noses. . . literally. . . and for the most part, we aren't at all aware that it's happening. Nor do we know what it's doing to us and our kids. Only time will tell. And when time does tell, we'll most likely be starting our laments with these words. . . "If I had only known. . . ."
Yesterday, the American Academy of Pediatrics issued this release regarding children and screen time: "Managing Media: We Need A Plan." This follows up a very direct and stern warning regarding the need to not just limit, but keep all children under the age of two away from any and all media screens in an effort to promote healthy development in all spheres of life. It's also a good idea that parents who are holding, playing with, or interacting with their kids should keep away from the screens as well.
We live in a media-saturated world. Consider these facts from yesterday's press release: Excessive media use has been associated with obesity, lack of sleep, school problems, aggression and other behavior issues. A recent study shows that the average 8- to 10-year-old spends nearly 8 hours a day with different media, and older children and teens spend more than 11 hours per day. Kids who have a TV in their bedroom spend more time with media. About 75 percent of 12- to 17-year-olds own cell phones, and nearly all teenagers use text messaging.
Ironically, I heard about yesterday's report from the AAP hours after listening to a news report about how Disney - those masters of marketing to kids (and parents) - is leveraging our willingness to put our kids in front of screens and screens in our kids hands almost 24/7 by releasing the first nine episodes of their new animated series for pre-schoolers, "Sheriff Callie's Wild West," exclusively on a tablet app. It's a brilliant move. But is it a safe move?
This is one of those times where parents need to step out of the fast-moving flow that "everyone else" is "doing" to pause, take a deep breath, think, and then make a wise decision that's nothing less than counter-cultural.
That point was driven home a bit more last night as I listened to an NPR interview with some mothers of toddlers who were bragging up the smarts of their twelve and eighteen-month-old little children who could manipulate touch screens better than they could walk.
To learn more about electronic addiction, check out our Free pdf download: "A Parents' Primer On Electronic Addiction."
There they were. . . almost knee to knee around the small round table. But each member of the family was "absent" from the other as they all focused their attention on separate screens. For mom, dad, and the the oldest daughter (maybe 8 or 9?), it was their smart phones. For the youngest daughter (all of 3 or 4-years-old), it was a tablet propped up on its pink cover just inches from her face at eye level. A large set of pink headphones covered her ears for the duration of the meal as she focused her eyes on the animated movie playing on the screen. She ate her food in a trance-like state. In the immediacy of the moment, those screens were keeping them far, far apart from each other. Who knows what the long-term effects might be.
Yesterday, the American Academy of Pediatrics issued this release regarding children and screen time: "Managing Media: We Need A Plan." This follows up a very direct and stern warning regarding the need to not just limit, but keep all children under the age of two away from any and all media screens in an effort to promote healthy development in all spheres of life. It's also a good idea that parents who are holding, playing with, or interacting with their kids should keep away from the screens as well.
We live in a media-saturated world. Consider these facts from yesterday's press release: Excessive media use has been associated with obesity, lack of sleep, school problems, aggression and other behavior issues. A recent study shows that the average 8- to 10-year-old spends nearly 8 hours a day with different media, and older children and teens spend more than 11 hours per day. Kids who have a TV in their bedroom spend more time with media. About 75 percent of 12- to 17-year-olds own cell phones, and nearly all teenagers use text messaging.
Ironically, I heard about yesterday's report from the AAP hours after listening to a news report about how Disney - those masters of marketing to kids (and parents) - is leveraging our willingness to put our kids in front of screens and screens in our kids hands almost 24/7 by releasing the first nine episodes of their new animated series for pre-schoolers, "Sheriff Callie's Wild West," exclusively on a tablet app. It's a brilliant move. But is it a safe move?
This is one of those times where parents need to step out of the fast-moving flow that "everyone else" is "doing" to pause, take a deep breath, think, and then make a wise decision that's nothing less than counter-cultural.
That point was driven home a bit more last night as I listened to an NPR interview with some mothers of toddlers who were bragging up the smarts of their twelve and eighteen-month-old little children who could manipulate touch screens better than they could walk.
To learn more about electronic addiction, check out our Free pdf download: "A Parents' Primer On Electronic Addiction."
Thursday, October 24, 2013
My Hopes, Homosexuality, and God's Word. . . .
This morning I ran across and posted this thought-provoking quote from J.I. Packer: "Our business is to present the Christian faith clothed in modern terms, not to propagate modern thought clothed in Christian terms. . . . Confusion here is fatal."
I'm sure that all of us are guilty here on something. It's just that most of us don't know it. . . which is, by the way, the reason we should engage in ongoing, never-ending, deep introspection of every nook and cranny of our lives. . . all conducted under the illumination of God's Word.
I was hit by this reality again the other night while spending more time in James K.A. Smith's Everyday Discipleship, the chapter entitled "Can Hope Be Wrong?" in particular. Smith offers up his critique of the "New Universalism" . . . the kind of universalism propagated by Rob Bell in his book Love Wins. This new brand of universalism is what Smith calls a "christocentric" or "evangelical" universalism. In other words, all human beings will be saved in Christ. Smith says that what drives this increasingly popular belief is not a close reading of the Bible's claims about eternity, but an understanding of the nature of God that leaves people saying things like "I can't imagine a God who would send a person to hell" and "I hope that God doesn't send people to hell."
Smith goes on to ask this question: "Are these hopes and imaginings sufficiently warranted to overturn the received, orthodox doctrines concerning final judgment and eternal damnation?" Then, he critiques each. When he critiques the hermeneutic of hope, he wonders if our hopes can ever be wrong. His example is personal. He loves his wife and he can't even begin to imagine a life without being husband and wife forever. But then he reads the words of Jesus in Matthew 22:30. . . words that clearly say that at the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. Now, the dilemma for Smith when he asks, "Should I nonetheless hope that marriage endures in eternity? Should I profess that I can't know this (since Scripture seems to suggest otherwise), but nonetheless claim that somehow hoping it might be true is still faithful? Or should I submit even my hopes to discipline by the authority of Scripture?"
Wow. Read that last question again. Those are powerful and timely words that apply to so much more than who gets to go to Heaven and whether or not we will be married in eternity. Smith reminds us that when "what I hope for" eclipses a more theocentric approach to these and other issues, we are in trouble. And that's what I think J.I. Packer is driving at as well.
While I was reading all of this, I rewound to the evening about thirty-five years ago when one of my best friends sat me down to tell me that he was gay and that he was embracing his homosexuality. When he asked me for my response, a battle began to rage inside of me. I wanted more than anything else to tell him that there was nothing at all wrong with his decision, his leanings, and his embracing this kind of sexuality. I wanted to love, affirm, and accept my friend. I hoped that his same-sex behaviors wouldn't matter. But on the other side was my need to submit my hopes (some, which if I'm honest, still hold true today on a whole plethora of issues) to someone bigger than myself. And so the battle continues between my hopes. . . driven by my belief that I might just have all of this (and everything else) figured out better than the One whose will and way I must submit myself and my hopes to. . . and my need to have those hopes disciplined.
I'm sure that all of us are guilty here on something. It's just that most of us don't know it. . . which is, by the way, the reason we should engage in ongoing, never-ending, deep introspection of every nook and cranny of our lives. . . all conducted under the illumination of God's Word.
I was hit by this reality again the other night while spending more time in James K.A. Smith's Everyday Discipleship, the chapter entitled "Can Hope Be Wrong?" in particular. Smith offers up his critique of the "New Universalism" . . . the kind of universalism propagated by Rob Bell in his book Love Wins. This new brand of universalism is what Smith calls a "christocentric" or "evangelical" universalism. In other words, all human beings will be saved in Christ. Smith says that what drives this increasingly popular belief is not a close reading of the Bible's claims about eternity, but an understanding of the nature of God that leaves people saying things like "I can't imagine a God who would send a person to hell" and "I hope that God doesn't send people to hell."Smith goes on to ask this question: "Are these hopes and imaginings sufficiently warranted to overturn the received, orthodox doctrines concerning final judgment and eternal damnation?" Then, he critiques each. When he critiques the hermeneutic of hope, he wonders if our hopes can ever be wrong. His example is personal. He loves his wife and he can't even begin to imagine a life without being husband and wife forever. But then he reads the words of Jesus in Matthew 22:30. . . words that clearly say that at the resurrection, people will neither marry nor be given in marriage. Now, the dilemma for Smith when he asks, "Should I nonetheless hope that marriage endures in eternity? Should I profess that I can't know this (since Scripture seems to suggest otherwise), but nonetheless claim that somehow hoping it might be true is still faithful? Or should I submit even my hopes to discipline by the authority of Scripture?"
Wow. Read that last question again. Those are powerful and timely words that apply to so much more than who gets to go to Heaven and whether or not we will be married in eternity. Smith reminds us that when "what I hope for" eclipses a more theocentric approach to these and other issues, we are in trouble. And that's what I think J.I. Packer is driving at as well.
While I was reading all of this, I rewound to the evening about thirty-five years ago when one of my best friends sat me down to tell me that he was gay and that he was embracing his homosexuality. When he asked me for my response, a battle began to rage inside of me. I wanted more than anything else to tell him that there was nothing at all wrong with his decision, his leanings, and his embracing this kind of sexuality. I wanted to love, affirm, and accept my friend. I hoped that his same-sex behaviors wouldn't matter. But on the other side was my need to submit my hopes (some, which if I'm honest, still hold true today on a whole plethora of issues) to someone bigger than myself. And so the battle continues between my hopes. . . driven by my belief that I might just have all of this (and everything else) figured out better than the One whose will and way I must submit myself and my hopes to. . . and my need to have those hopes disciplined.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Stained With God. . . .
I've been revisiting the past a bit with a CD I picked up in San Diego at the National Youthworkers Convention a couple of weeks ago. It's the greatest hits album from DC Talk. I was listening on Saturday while driving back from New York when the track "What If I Stumble?" came on. Those of you who are familiar with the song no doubt know that there's a little spoken-word bit at the start. It's a couple of sentences from Brennan Manning where he says, "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians: who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."
Those words have always haunted me a bit. . . not so much about the church. . . but about me. I think of them often and it was challenging to hear them spoken in Manning's voice again.
The Scriptures are clear that our faith is to be integrated into all of life. . . every square inch. . . every nook and cranny. Our faith is not a convenient add-on.
Later on Saturday night, I continued my trek through James K.A. Smith's thoughtful little collection of essays, Discipleship in the Present Tense: Reflections on Faith and Culture. In one essay, Smith offers a review of Julian Barnes' memoir, Nothing to Be Frightened Of. The book's opening line. . . "I don't believe in God, but I miss Him" . . . captures a bit of the essence of Barnes' agnosticism.
Smith goes on to quote Barnes and his thoughts on the Christian faith in a way that connects directly with Manning's critique of our meaningless version of the faith: "There seems little point in a religion which is merely a weekly social event as opposed to one which tells you exactly how to live, with colours and stains everything. . . What's the point of faith unless you and it are serious - seriously serious - unless your religion fills, directs, stains, and sustains your life?"
"Stained with God." That's an interesting and timely metaphor for the kind of integrated faith that finds its way into every single cell of our existence. That's the kind of faith we need to pursue.
Those words have always haunted me a bit. . . not so much about the church. . . but about me. I think of them often and it was challenging to hear them spoken in Manning's voice again.
The Scriptures are clear that our faith is to be integrated into all of life. . . every square inch. . . every nook and cranny. Our faith is not a convenient add-on.
Later on Saturday night, I continued my trek through James K.A. Smith's thoughtful little collection of essays, Discipleship in the Present Tense: Reflections on Faith and Culture. In one essay, Smith offers a review of Julian Barnes' memoir, Nothing to Be Frightened Of. The book's opening line. . . "I don't believe in God, but I miss Him" . . . captures a bit of the essence of Barnes' agnosticism.
"Stained with God." That's an interesting and timely metaphor for the kind of integrated faith that finds its way into every single cell of our existence. That's the kind of faith we need to pursue.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Youth Culture in the Comics. . . Another Good One. . .
Earlier this week I blogged on using comics in your ministry . . . as windows into the realities of today's youth culture and as thought-provoking discussion starters for kids and and their parents. Today, I simply want to pass on this morning's edition of one of my favorites comic strips, "Zits." Yep, great name for a comic about a teenage boy and his parents. Today's is a good one. And, yes. . . I know. . . his nerdy, out-of-touch dad and I share a first name. Oh well. . .
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