Thoughts On The 2010 VMA's

I’m going to come clean. I’m watching the clock as the last 40 minutes tick down until the start of an annual event I’ve been watching and telling youth workers and parents to watch for who knows how many years. I started watching in 1984. The media shelves in our CPYU offices hold copies of just about every edition of the VMAs, offering a video timeline into how the world of pop culture and music reflects changes in the values, attitudes, and behaviors of the emerging generations. I’ve got a hunch that if I went back through the archives in chronological order, I’d be surprised by how relatively tame those old VMA’s that stretched the envelope then would be by comparison. Where will we be in 10 or 15 years?

Tonight I’m hunkered down to watch the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards show. . . and truth be told, I don’t want to be doing this. I’m tired. . . tired of viewing this yearly peek into the soul of our culture through what I hope are eyes of faith that are faithful to the will and the way of my Heavenly Father. Doing so from that perspective can’t help but be frustrating. The scores of youth workers parents who always seem to protest my annual push to suck it up and watch know exactly what I’m talking about. If you love Jesus and love kids, it’s heartbreaking to see the brokenness, fallenness, and evil that’s not only peddled and promoted, but is the fruit of the ways we choose to go in our sinful and messed up world. We watch and we know: this is not the way it’s supposed to be. With the Old Testament prophet Habakkuk, we watch and find ourselves lamenting the fact that God’s ways are ignored, justice is not upheld, and the wicked surround the righteous. Hopefully, we hurt for our kids and we hurt for our culture. We see it when our youth group kids follow the lead of pop stars more than the lead of the Redeemer.

But in spite of this, I’m going to watch. I will watch because I’ve been called first and foremost to be a follower of Christ who is to be salt and light in this world in which I live. And to effectively serve as salt and light I must understand the nature of the darkness and decay. All of us who are called to minister to kids are by default called to be cross-cultural missionaries. Their world is not our world. Don’t believe it? Watch the VMA’s. What you will see will serve you as a mirror, reflecting back to you the map that’s serving kids as a guide through life.

So tonight, I’ve decided to watch, process in real time, and blog my thoughts as they enter my head. I have no idea what to expect. . . . well, I do have an idea. However, I would love to be pleasantly surprised. . . .

So here are just a few thoughts. . . . I’d love to hear yours.

- So. . . Eminem is back. And in true Eminem style, he’s boasting in his own power and ability to pull himself up and make it back. It’s supposed to be all about me, isn’t it?

- In a nod to staying on the edge, this year’s VMA’s is being hosted by Chelsea Handler. Should be interesting. Her jokes and commentary are sure to be raw. And she begins by encouraging everyone in the house to be on their “worst behavior”. . . including using her opening monologue to egg on the relatively innocent and young Taylor Swift into all kinds of over-the-top behavior. In effect, she’s verbalizing what the show serves to do in the lives of its young viewers.

- Lady Gaga’s first win includes a shout out to the discharged soldiers who accompanied her to the awards. . . a political/ethical statement that’s in line with her views on sexuality. The soldiers she brought are all part of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, the national organization devoted to assisting those affected by the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy of the United States Military. In terms of pop culture icons, Lady Gaga is perhaps not only the most popular artist out there (yes. . . have you heard your kids sing her praises? . . . which strongly makes the case for promoting integration of faith into all of life and the need to learn how to use the Scriptures to shape their reaction to music and media), but has perhaps the most influential pop culture presence in terms of promoting a sexual ethic and shaping our kids’ understanding of their sexuality. According to what she said tonight, her next album is titled “Born This Way.” We need to be ready to enter into the discussion.

-The VMA’s are a marketing event. Not only has Eminem returned, but the guys from Jackass showed up to promote their return with their soon-to-be-released 3D movie. And when they start pulling their stunts while presenting an award. . . even MTV has to pull the cameras back. Then there are the stars of the upcoming film, Social Network. Marketing. . . again.

- Is it me, or this Justin Bieber thing outrageously silly and out-of-control? One word – marketing. And it’s working. He’s captured the hearts and wallets of millions of the youngest music fans and their moms. Keep an eye on him. What will he be singing and doing when he’s 18?

-You might not be a fan of Usher, but you’ve got to love the sets. . . lighting. . . staging. The creativity and complexity bears witness to the image of Himself that God has put into human beings. . . the crowning point of His creation. We bring glory to Him when we create with excellence.

- One theme that seems to have run through the VMA’s and a load of pop music in recent years is the audience of adoring, objectified women. Did you see Drake and the gallery of girls that served as his background? What are we teaching our girls about what makes them valuable and worthwhile? What are we teaching them about how to relate to men? And what are we teaching our boys about how to treat and relate to a woman?

-The commercial for the new female fragrance Gucci Guilty. . . . ponder the name. . . ponder the commercial’s message. This is one worth talking about. If you decide to talk about it and are accused of being prudish. . . well, then talking about it was something that needed to happen. Our culture, for the most part, doesn’t think twice about this kind of stuff. It’s status quo.

-Who was Kanye West toasting? And why???? Kudos to him for admitting his mistakes from last year and seeking forgiveness from Taylor Swift. . . . who by the way, didn't follow Chelsea Handler's advice. Instead, she took the high road by offering forgiveness and redemption to West in her own performance. The standing ovation afterwards was well-deserved.


What do we do with what we see when we look at our world through the window of the VMA’s or other elements in pop culture?

First, we must put what we see and hear under the light of God’s Word. Can we celebrate and affirm it? Or, must we lament and challenge it? This step requires filling our wells with God’s Word, knowing the truth, and meditating on it.

Second, we must get on our knees for our kids and our culture.

Third, we must speak to it, being very direct with the kids we know and love.

And finally, we must be patient as we are faithful and obedient. We can’t twist people’s arms into thinking and living differently. We must love those who think differently as we wait on God’s Spirit to move whenever and wherever In God’s perfect timing.

So. . . did you watch? And if you did, what did you think?

My Shoulder and Shalom. . . .

For the last six weeks my left shoulder has been messed up. The collarbone I broke in the bike accident prompted the doctor in the hospital to tell me that my shoulder and arm were hanging . . . connected to my body by nothing but muscles and nerves. . . . which, by the way, was not an especially pleasant thing to hear and ponder. During the six weeks that have passed since I flew over the handlebars, my bones have been healing while my shoulder muscles have atrophied. Up until that point, my 54-year-old shoulder didn't miss a day of working and moving just the way it was created to do. On July 30th, that all stopped. And then came my first visit to Brenda the physical therapist last Thursday.

Before meeting Brenda, I was told that she's an experienced physical therapist (62-years-old!) who is a "miracle-worker" when it comes to shoulders. After two visits and a couple of hours of Brenda moving my shoulder in every possible direction, I can tell that while things are nowhere near back to normal where my arm meets my torso, things are on their way to getting there. In other words, there's some hope.

Yesterday when Brenda had me moving my shoulder in the therapy pool, my counting through a host of exercises was interrupted by thoughts of what once was. . . specifically, a shoulder that functioned so normally that I took it for granted. My thoughts quickly shifted to July 30th and the moment when all of that changed. Now, after five-plus weeks of things not being the way they once were when they were the way they were supposed to be, I'm hoping, longing, and waiting with great expectation for the restoration of my shoulder so that I might be able to one day function fully again.

That deep longing and the history of my left shoulder parallels a simple life reality that we all deal with on a daily basis. God made all things and declared them "good." All things functioned according to His plan. Then, in our rebellious "flip" over the handlebars of lives that we decided we knew how to steer better than the One who made us, it all came undone. And whether we know it or not, we long for what once was to be restored. That longing drives all that we do, all that we are, and all that we seek in life.

I want Shalom - God's original, intended, universal flourishing and intended functioning - to visit my shoulder and to visit it quick. After six weeks of spending every night laying motionless on my back, this man who loves the freedom to stretch and roll around in bed needs to be freed to do that once again. I'm longing for that day (night) to come and to come soon. I want my bones to be free of the stiffness and soreness that's been there since the wreck. But even more than that, I know that I want the "final restoration of all things" that Peter preached in Acts 3 - that restoration of God's Shalom - to be ushered in with the new Heavens and the new Earth. . . beyond just my shoulder, to all things.

Tomorrow morning, Brenda will be bending my arm all over the place once more. . . and once again, I'll be pondering the beauty of God's Shalom and the hope that exists for those who are in Christ.

Thanks Scotty. . . .

I love the richness of my Presbyterian and Reformed heritage. I know, I know. . . Calvinists have oftentimes gotten a well-deserved bad rap for the way they represent, or more accurately misrepresent, their theological heritage. But when you understand the deep commitment to truth and the sovereignty of God, you wind up with an anchor that is rock solid. I communicate this reality to my kids by encouraging them to constantly fill their wells with the truths of God's Word. Someday, I tell them, they will be blessed with droughts, doubts, and sufferings that God will use to take them deep. If the well is full, growth will take place.

This morning, I ran across a wonderful prayer rooted in this heritage that was written by Scotty Smith, pastor of Christ Community PCA Church in Nashville. I simply want to pass on this wonderful prayer that ministered deeply to me in the hope that it might minister to you as well. You also might want to regularly check out Scotty's very thoughtful blog, "Heavenward".

A Prayer About the Pure Joy of Trials
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-3

Dear Jesus, apart from the gospel of your grace, this admonition would appear to be the work of a madman. What sane person would ever associate pure joy with many trials? In fact, many of us have been schooled to believe that faith is the very means by which we can escape trials and hardships. And yet Jesus, it was because of the joy set before you that you persevered and endured the greatest trial of all for us… the cross (Hebrews 12:1-3).

Grant us your joy, Jesus… grant us your perspective… grant us your love for the glory of God above comfort… and grant us a greater love for your cross.

It’s only because of your cross, Jesus, that we can be certain that trials don’t come to us as punishment for our sins, but for the purification of our faith. We praise you for exhausting God’s judgment against our sins. We praise you that your cross was our Judgment Day. The perfect love of the cross drives away all fear of judgment and punishment (1 John 4:18). What peace this give us… what hope… what freedom!

Jesus, what dross would you burn from our faith through trials? What needs to be purified? Since faith is both the content of what we believe and the act of believing… please free us from all false gospels and from a lack of trust. Burn away everything we believe about you that contradicts the truth of the gospel, Jesus. What bad teachings have robbed us from the riches of the gospel? What bad teachings have made it easy for us to distort and misapply the gospel? Burn up these impurities, Jesus. We want the pure gold of the gospel to shine forth.

And burn away our double-mindedness and our lack of love for you, Jesus. We’re predestined to be like you. None of us likes to see our immaturity, and yet since maturity is Christlikeness, Jesus, reveal our immaturity… our incompleteness… our lack. In what ways do our attitudes and actions contradict your beauty? You’ll never condemn us, because you took the condemnation we deserve. But you will convict us. Grant us pure joy and godly sorrow which lead to repentance, salvation and no regrets (2 Corinthians 7:10). So very Amen, we pray, in your most loving and patient name.

Stephen Hawking, My Youth Pastor, And My Hand . . .

My youth pastors left quite a mark on my life. They challenged my faith, provided a great example of what it means to follow Jesus, and they used teachable moments to shape my knowledge of the Almighty. I oftentimes say that if it wasn't for Phil, Mike, and Chuck, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today. Because of them, I know what kind of impact a youth worker can have on a kid.

One of the many profound moments I remember from my high school days occurred during a youth group meeting when Phil asked our group to ponder the wonder and greatness of the Creator. He asked us to hold up our right hand and to look at it. Then, he instructed us to move it. . . and move it again. . . and then move it again. We did this for about 5 minutes, but it didn't take that long to come to the realization that the so-familiar-that-we-take-it-for-granted five-fingered thing at the end of our right arm provides amazing evidence of the fact that we have been - as the Psalmist says in Psalm 139 - "fearfully and wonderfully made."

I was reminded of this on Monday as Lisa and I sat in an office at the Hershey Medical Center after viewing x-rays and discussing the healing taking place in my bones with a couple of orthopedic physicians. When they left the room we were in awe at how God has made our bodies to heal, and the evidence of that in my own body over the course of four short weeks. As we sat there together in amazement in the quiet of that room, we both remarked with wonder at how any physician couldn't be a believer and follower.

This morning, our paper reported on some new stuff from physicist and mathematician Stephen Hawking. I've never read any of Hawking's stuff, but I've from time-to-time followed the news stories about Hawking's theories and writings. Today's headline read: "Hawking: God not needed for creation." It seems that Hawking is challenging Isaac Newton's theory that God had to be involved because without him, order couldn't have somehow just naturally come out chaos. I don't get it. For me, even the ability of Hawking's brain to think at levels I could never dream of achieving is ample evidence for a Divine Creator.

So. . . today. . . I challenge you to take 5 minutes (or more) to look. . . to really look. . . at that right hand on the end of your arm. If you're a parent or a youth worker, take a lesson from Phil, a guy who had a tremendous impact on my life, and challenge your kids to shut down long enough to ponder the evidence at the end of their right arm. And if that isn't enough, maybe I'll get you a copy of my x-rays!

Oh Man. . . We're Excited About This! . . . .

One of our goals here at CPYU is to help parents, youth workers, and teachers effectively teach kids how to integrate their faith into all of life. One of the most discouraging marks of churched and professing Christian kids today is that they are living very disjointed lives. While they might be applying their faith effectively and consciously to one or more areas of their lives, they fail to see how their faith should inform other areas of their lives.


Perhaps you've been frustrated by the growing number of kids who never endeavor to think consciously and Christianly about what God and His Word might have to say about the hours and hours of media that they engage with each and every day. Our duty and calling is clear - we must teach kids how to integrate their faith into their media use and choices. To that end, several years ago I wrote a little media evaluation guide that's been taught and used with tens of thousands of kids. It's called, How to Use Your Head to Guard Your Heart: A 3(d) Guide to Making Responsible Media Choices. Kids are using this guide to filter everything they see, hear, and use in their media world.


Now, we're really excited to tell you about another media evaluation tool we've developed in conjunction with Doug Fields and our good friends at Simply Youth Ministry. The folks over at SYM are known for developing cutting edge DVD curriculum for use with kids. I was thrilled when they came to me and asked, "How would you like to do a DVD curriculum with us that youth workers, parents, and teachers can use to help teach kids how to use your 3(d) guide?" Easy answer. . . . "SURE!" So, we put together Download: Teaching Teenagers to Filter Their Media Choices with Walt Mueller, a 3-part video curriculum that you can learn more about here.

As the fall kicks-off and you're looking for something substantial to use as a teaching tool with your kids, please consider using Download. This isn't a once-and-done proposition. Once you've gone through the 3 lessons with your students, spend one meeting or small-group time every month practicing the skills and engaging in real-life Bible study.

Here's a little clip from Download to give you a taste of what's on the DVD:

The Big Problem With Marriage. . . .

A little over three weeks ago I experienced the marriage of one of my children for the very first time. Josh married Sheila. It's a relationship God cultivated through the gift of weak ankles. Sheila was one of the student athletic trainers working with Josh's college lacrosse team. She taped his ankles every day that year. . . and only Josh will ever know if they needed to be taped every day or not! Perhaps it's no coincidence that Josh severely sprained his ankle playing lacrosse a week before his wedding.

Watching them recite their vows not only reminded me of the very same vows Lisa and I had recited to each other 28 years earlier, but it served as a reminder of how many young couples who stand and recite those vows in today's world will never keep them. I trust that the Lord will sustain and build their young marriage. I hope that as their marriage is built, any false hopes, dreams or ideas they have about love and commitment will be quickly shattered and then replaced with a heavy dose of reality.

It's also no coincidence that my kids - including the newlyweds - have had a front row seat from which to see the power of marital love in action over the course of the last four weeks. My varying degrees of physical helplessness and dependency on others has created a situation where the girl who 28 years ago promised to love me "in sickness and in health" has been doing just that with an eagerness and gusto that has brought me to tears on several occasions. Her commitment is not at all surprising to me.

Sadly, I'm not so sure that kind of marital commitment is on the rise in today's youth culture. Many kids are choosing to not get married. Of course, there are a variety of factors contributing to this growing reality. One of those factors is the lack of any compelling and realistic models of marriage to look up to. After all, if marriage didn't work in my family, why should it work for me?

This cultural trend has been one that's been chipping away at me for quite some time. More than alarming, it's something I know we need to more directly address at CPYU. We need to help parents and youth workers not only see the trend for what it is, but address it in ways that will prepare kids for the realities of marriage so that the tide can be turned and the institution realistically understood and thereby strengthened in our culture.

While I've been laying around, one of the books I've been reading that addresses these issues from a very practical, hopeful, and realistic standpoint is Paul Tripp's What Did You Expect: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage. In his typical fashion, Tripp addresses the culturally-promoted lies we come to believe with the counter of a Biblically-based explanation of the way things really are. Tripp cuts to the chase and warns readers against believing that it's always the other guy who's the issue. Instead, the reality is that the biggest problem in your marriage is well. . . you. He writes, "The big battles you fight in marriage are not the ones you fight with your spouse. No, the big battles are the ones being fought in your heart. All of the horizontal skirmishes between a husband and wife are the result of this deeper battle. Remember, there is still sin remaining in your heart, and the DNA of sin is selfishness." As my pastor once told me, we are deeply depraved people living in a depraved world. Conflict is inevitable. You will live with it until the day that you die. Maybe that's the most important thing a young couple can latch on to before they recite their vows. And maybe if they know that's true, they can take the steps necessary to receive and show God's free gift of grace in ways that make those vows come alive each and every day. . . . as they stay together "until death do us part."

Paul Tripp goes on to challenge readers to make these six mutual commitments in their marriage:

1. We will give ourselves to the regular lifestyle of confession and forgiveness.

2. We will make growth and change our daily agenda.

3. We will work together to build a sturdy bond of trust.

4. We will commit to building a relationship of love.

5. We will deal with our differences with appreciation and grace.

6. We will work to protect our marriage.

I've been married 28 years and I'm learning much from What Did You Expect? I want my kids to learn the lessons in this book. . . which is why they are each going to be given their own copy. If you're a parent or a youth worker, read it for your own edification, then live it in front of and talk about it with your kids. False expectations and ideas are killing marriage. Let's do all we can to breath some redemptive fresh air into an institution that if our culture stays on its current course, is in great jeopardy.

One Miserable Man. . . .

Over the years I've morphed into what I believe is a more God-honoring way of looking at the world. Many of us in the church have been hammered into believing that living the Christian faith requires a clean and shiny set of rose-colored glasses and an unrealistically positive (if we're honest) outlook on life. Don't think negative thoughts. See the good. Etc. Etc. But I've learned that in order to see and appreciate the beauty of God's goodness and grace, you have to reckon with the truth that surrounds us that is actually quite ugly. If I don't understand sin and depravity in both myself and the world around me, I might be fooled into thinking that I have no need for the Redeemer. In the end, that's dangerous, deadly, and a fast-track to the deceptive pull of idolatry.

So, it's a good thing when God exposes me to the darkness of my nature and the expressions of that sinful nature in my life. It's good when I look around and see pain, suffering, and hopelessness wherever it exists. We need to see the world as it is. Then - and only then - will we learn that we cannot save ourselves.

One side effect of this growing realization is a growing appreciation for the good stories we encounter in the world of books, film and TV. A "good" story doesn't have to be one that ends with the story of the Cross and a call to faith. No, a "good story" can be one that simply tells the truth, even if that truth is incredibly ugly. I believe that God uses those "good stories" that so many Christians might argue are "incomplete" as one small piece in the grand and great story He is working out in our lives and our world.

One of those small pieces that I got back to this week is season 4 of the AMC drama, Mad Men. At times, I've found myself watching this show and feeling like I might be no different than my grandmother who took time out each weekday afternoon to catch up on her "stories" . . . or as they are more widely known, soap operas. But then I quickly snap back into a reality check and realize - as series creator Matthew Weiner has said - that the show's tragic main character, Don Draper, is a man who has everything, yet is a man who has nothing. And that's what I love about Mad Men. All the promises of redemption that come with our North American culture of marketing, materialism, fast-living, and promiscuous behavior end in darkness. Mad Men effectively trumpets that truth. Perhaps the power of watching a fictitious guy like Don Draper unravel before our eyes is that God can use that to keep us from going down that same road in our very real lives. Right now, if I was only allowed to watch, ponder, and discuss one TV show, this would be it.

The Scriptures from Genesis to Revelation present the ugly truth about our condition along with the wonderful and beautiful truth of God's plan and provision for the restoration of shalom in our lives and world. The writer of Ecclesiastes - like Don Draper - reminds us that "everything is meaningless. . . completely meaningless." And, he tells us straightforwardly and simply that his final conclusion is this: "Fear God and obey his commands. For this is everyone's duty."