learning my lines. . .

Art That Moves Me. . . And Maybe You Too. . .

2012-01-25T10:36:00.003-05:00

When I was young, there was something in me that wanted to respond. Still, I couldn't. "I don't see it" and "I don't hear it" were words I thought and sometimes uttered. In my college humanities class the professor would excitedly deconstruct a piece of art or music and I would be lost. "OK. . . I believe you. . . but really???" In hindsight I didn't get it because I just didn't feel it.

As I got older, two things happened. One was that my understanding increased. I was reading folks like Hans Rookmaaker and Francis Schaeffer. They would talk about staring at paintings and letting the paintings "speak" to them on behalf of the artist, culture, and worldview that birthed them. OK. . . that started to help me make some sense out of it all. I also started to pay a little more attention to the music I was drawn to. . . thinking about the lyrics, researching the back story, and realizing that this was all more than just entertaining background noise.

The second thing that began to open my eyes was the fact that life was happening around me. More specifically, life was happening for and to me. The hopes, fears, joys, sorrows, questions, realizations, and disappointments of my life were combining in a mix that increasingly brought certain musical and visual cultural artifacts to life for me. They were saying what I wanted to say. They were mirroring things I knew to be true. They were taking me deeper and deeper into unseen realities that were offering me hope. Like the young middle school kid who introduced me to the music of Kurt Cobain and Nirvana some twenty years ago, my explanation for what I was drawn to was quite simple: "This guy's singing what I feel." That's the transcendent power of art.

There's lots of music and art that I'm drawn to. Over the years, there have been some pieces that continue to move me whenever I stop to look and listen. Pearl Jam's classic video to their song "Jeremy" continues to hit me in the gut, even after seeing it hundreds of times. Sometimes the truth art tells is pretty doggone ugly.

Recently, an artist who moves my soul with depictions of often-ignored, overlooked, and unseen realities is David Arms. His "God's Story" painting is amazing. I often refer to it in my mind during the course of a day as a reminder of the big picture that I know is swallowing up my own story. It's a painting that never gets old. In fact, like good art should, it reveals new realities about life every time I look at it.

Yesterday I spent some time on David Arms' website looking at his paintings. It was overwhelming actually. It was like being a kid and popping the lid on a trunk full of treasures. I've decided to spend time over the next few months focusing on and listening to one painting every week for the simple reason that this is art that tells the truth. . . and moves me. I don't want to miss the trees for the forest.

Today, I've been locked in on his painting titled "Free." David Arms describes it this way: "The cross frees us from bondage to all those things that weigh us down…guilt…need for approval…fears – weight that God never intended for us to carry. But He freed us and made available to us a peace that passes all understanding."

Wow! I see God and I see myself in this picture. I hope it speaks to you as well.

Lessons From JoePa. . . .

2012-01-24T08:36:00.002-05:00

Somehow we all sensed that the craziness, confusion, and complexity of the Jerry Sandusky matter would break him down. Sure, Joe Paterno was already aging. But when the announcement came that he had lung cancer, I remember chatting with a friend about the fact that "this might kill him." What we meant by that is that the piling up of multiple burdens would weigh him down and wear him out. Stress is a tricky, powerful, and dangerous thing.

Since the accomplished football coach died on Sunday, the media and Internet have been filled with remembrances, memorials, and debates over what the man's legacy will ultimately be. One thing we're hearing and reading over and over again is the way Joe Paterno sought to instill life lessons and character in his players, his team, and his institution. At heart, I think Paterno evidenced an old-school modesty and thrift that we don't see so much anymore. He made millions, yet continued to live in a simple ranch home in State College. That's refreshing. His present and former players are uniting in a chorus of praise that doesn't seem to be coming from polite respect in the wake of a death, but from genuine heartfelt love for a man who shaped their lives. If one thing is clear, it's that Joe Paterno endeavored to teach more than football. That's a great legacy.

Sadly, there are some other lessons that can be learned that I'm sure nobody expected to be learning from Joe Paterno and the circumstances that overshadowed everything else during his last couple of months.

First, there's the lesson that life is brief and fleeting. I don't know if Joe Paterno coached longer than any previous college coach, but he coached for a long, long time. He coached long enough to win more games and acquire more accolades than any other Division I football coach. But now it all seems like a blink of the eye. On Sunday, we sang these words from Isaac Watt in his hymn "O God, Our Help In Ages Past": "A thousand ages in thy sight, are like an evening gone; short as the watch that ends the night, before the rising sun." Yes, life is short. If we fool ourselves into thinking otherwise, we might put off the serious business of living each day as we should.

Second, we can never be fully prepared for the unexpected circumstances and situations that life throws us, but they will come. And because they will come, we need to be as ready as we can be to face them. While we don't know the particulars, we know they will be. If you've ever been through the detonation of a circumstantial "bomb" that's been carefully built and detonated by someone you trust, you know just what I'm talking about. In this case, it's family members, friends, and co-workers who saw and heard things they never expected and really didn't want to believe. This is a common-thread in stories of sexual abuse and secret affairs. I sometimes wonder if we don't have some kind of default setting that kicks in during times like these. . . . something that fools us into believing that we didn't see or hear what we just saw or heard, or that tells us that "this person could/would never do that thing." But we need to realize that in a broken and fallen world filled with flawed human beings (everyone of us), stuff happens. And while denial might be our initial reaction, we need to fight it in order to see the truth. When one fills themselves with the truths of God's Word, it's healthy realistic thinking that is more likely to prevail, over and above the positive thinking that we somehow think will push back what's happened in a mind-over-matter way that we think will make good prevail while erasing what happened. In Joe Paterno's case, I really think he was so blown away by something so unbelievable and so unfamiliar, that he didn't initially know what to do.

Which leads to number three. Over the course of the last year or so I've been listening and re-listening to Tim Keller's incredible sermons on Wisdom from Proverbs. Amazing stuff. Keller says that wisdom is "not less than being good or moral. . . but it's a lot more. It's being so in touch with reality that you know the right thing to do in the large majority of life situations that the moral rules don't directly address." In Joe Paterno's case, one could easily argue that there were moral rules that apply. I agree. But the lesson here about wisdom is that it needs to be carefully sought out and cultivated. The source of that wisdom lies in our Creator. The sovereign God of the universe has made it possible for us to cultivate and nurture that kind of wisdom into ourselves. Of course, we've got a culture that pushes back with effective propagation of foolishness. That's all the more reason to develop and understand Godly wisdom.

These are the lessons I'm forced to ponder today. . . lessons sparked by a news event that should have us all thinking and talking.

Make Me Over. . . . Please . . . .

2012-01-18T05:52:00.002-05:00

Last night I asked our waitress if she was a student. She used to be. She just graduated after majoring in art and photography. Not sure about the job prospects in those fields, but she's waitressing for now. When asked about her love for photography, she said she was trying to build a darkroom in her basement. A darkroom??? I didn't know we still used those things in the digital age. Interesting.

That got me thinking about how photography has changed during my lifetime. Well, not even my lifetime. How about the last 12 years? I remember pointing, shooting, and waiting. . . to finish a roll of film (which sometimes took months) and for the prints to be ready down at the KMart. You know what else? I don't ever remember complaining, being upset, or demanding the destruction of a photo of me that just didn't look right. You know. . . an unflattering pose, face, or angle. Instead, we'd laugh. Sometimes those were the best candid shots we had!

Welcome to the age of digital photography. It's an age with attitudes regarding what makes a picture good or bad thanks to an image-based culture that's set ridiculous appearance standards, while giving us the ability to "snap" more pictures and even digitally manipulate those images to "tweak" ourselves into "perfection." We even have cameras with lenses and viewfinders on both sides. It's all added up into a world where "DELETE THAT!" might just be the most-used phrase in amateur photography.

This morning I'm teaching on teenagers, technology, and culture. One of the topics I want to cover is the new phenomenon of "fabricating self." We used to do this in our imaginations, or in our correspondence with people we'd never met. Now, we do it with our cameras and computers. In a world where insecurity is epidemic and where adolescents go through an even more pronounced and tumultuous period of identity-formation (starting earlier, going later, more intense from start-to-finish. . . if the finish ever comes), the Internet has become an "identity fitting-room" where we try on multiple selves, make ourselves up, and reinvent ourselves over and over again. There's been a kind of "perfect storm" that's set the table for us to even manufacture multiple selves suited to each of the audiences we want to impress. One study from the Girl Scouts found that 75% of girls ages 14-17 agree that "most girls my age use social networking sites to make themselves look cooler than they are."

Have you seen the satirical Adobe Photoshop video that's gone viral over the last few days. I think it captures aspects of what's happening well.

Mark Bauerlein, author of The Dumbest Generation, says that "the screen becomes not a vein of truth, but a mirror of desire." Quentin Schultze says that "the digital world suffocates virtue by allowing us unbridled freedom to be all things to all people. . . to give ourselves over to the highest bidder or to the most persuasive master" (Habits of the High-Tech Heart).

The obsession with image in our culture is growing. It all reminds me of something a friend said to me almost thirty years ago: "You tell me who or what you daydream about all day, and I'll tell you who or what your God is."

M.L.K. And A Good Word for the Church Today. . . .

2012-01-16T12:24:00.003-05:00

Today is Martin Luther King Day and we kicked it off with a great challenge here in our Ministry to Emerging Generations Doctoral cohort at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. Virginia Ward - one of our students and a person familiar to many folks from her seminars at The National Youthworkers Convention - challenged us to be "pace-setters." That's our calling if we're followers of Jesus, isn't it? Our approach to matters of Christ and Culture (our subject last week in class) will dictate what kind of "pace-setters" we will be, if in fact we will be pace-setters at all.

Virginia then read an excerpt from Martin Luther King's "Letter from Birmingham Jail," a document I've read in the past. Today, however, these words to the church that King wrote in April of 1963 seemed so timely almost 50 years later. We are not called to complacency. Give them a read. . .

In deep disappointment I have wept over the laxity of the church. But be assured that my tears have been tears of love. There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. Yes, I love the church. How could I do otherwise? I am in the rather unique position of being the son, the grandson and the great grandson of preachers. Yes, I see the church as the body of Christ. But, oh! How we have blemished and scarred that body through social neglect and through fear of being nonconformists.

There was a time when the church was very powerful--in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being "disturbers of the peace" and "outside agitators."' But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were "a colony of heaven," called to obey God rather than man. Small in number, they were big in commitment. They were too God-intoxicated to be "astronomically intimidated." By their effort and example they brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contests. Things are different now. So often the contemporary church is a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. So often it is an archdefender of the status quo. Far from being disturbed by the presence of the church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the church's silent--and often even vocal--sanction of things as they are.

Good, good stuff.

If Tim Tebow Had Asked Me. . . .

2012-01-11T19:16:00.003-05:00

Tim Tebow was talked about quite a bit on Sunday night, into Monday, etc. That sure was fun to watch, wasn't it? Doesn't matter who it was taking the snap. That's the kind of great finish that we'll be watching over and over again for years.

Tim Tebow was being talked about today as well. USA Today ran this headline this morning: "Shirtless Tebow is Jockey Sex Symbol." When I read the story, my heart sank - more on that in a bit.

Tim Tebow was also being talked about in our Doctor of Ministry in Ministry to Emerging Generations class this morning. Adonis Vidu, our cohort theologian, led a discussion on H. Richard Niebuhr's classic book, Christ and Culture, and the various approaches we take in terms of the relationship between our faith and culture. In a brilliant move, Adonis asked our students to consider Niebuhr's five options in relation to all the buzz about Tebow and "Tebowing." The discussion was very spirited. I threw the Jockey ad campaign into the mix and the discussion got even more lively. It's a discussion that's sure to be continued when we get together again tomorrow morning.

Now. . . for the "more" on the Jockey ad. . . and why my heart sank. At the risk of sounding presumptuous, I spent some time today imagining what I would have said to Tim Tebow if he had come to me for advice. You know, asking something like, "Well, what do you think? Jockey's got an offer on the table. Should I take it?"

Let me begin by saying, I don't think there's anything wrong or unChristian about men without shirts. We see it at the beach all the time. But this is not a simple matter of deciding whether or not Christian men should walk around without a shirt on. It's just not that simple. . . although some people might make it out to be. It's far more complex. We need to think about our culture, the issues people are dealing with, and the message Jockey hoped to send. What would the intent of the sender be. Then, how would people in our culture receive it. With that as background, here are some thoughts I would have verbalized to Tim Tebow. . . if he had asked me. . . .

"Don't do it Tim. . . money, sex, fame, and power corrupt. Doing the ads are going to turn up the volume on the very temptations that could easily take you down."

"Don't do it Tim . . . we live in a culture where we are what we look like. Marketing has both created and perpetuates that idolatrous belief. By doing this, you'll be contributing one more compelling message promoting that belief. . . loud and clear. . . that only takes people deeper into this lie."

"Don't do it Tim . . . we live in a culture that increasingly celebrates pornography and feeds lust. No, the photos Jockey will take are not pornographic in and of themselves. But if anyone uses them to lust - and they will - then maybe it's best for you to keep your shirt on."

"Don't do it Tim. . . you are more than an object. You are a human being. You want people to see Jesus through you. You don't want to get in the way. You are a signpost. It seems that you already understand that. Don't compromise on that. You want to remain a signpost pointing to Jesus. You don't want people to only go so far as to lock their eyes on you."

"Don't do it Tim. . . you are a role model. You have been elevated as a Christian role model. Lots and lots and lots of people are watching. Most of them are young and extremely impressionable."

"Don't do it Tim. . . the eyes of the world are on you. They're looking to find or create chinks in your armor. Don't make it easy for them. Now, more than ever, you need to maintain your integrity."

Maybe it's the headline in the U.K.'s Daily Mail that shows us why Tim Tebow and other Christians need to think through context, implications, intents, and fallout: "Praise Jesus! Man of the moment Tim Tebow appears shirtless in new Jockey ad - and surprise, surprise - underwear sales soar."

The pressure's on for Tim Tebow. If he had asked me, I would have told him to keep his shirt on. . . especially in today's cultural climate. There's just way too much that could go wrong. . . if it hasn't already. Tomorrow morning it's my turn to teach our cohort. We'll be talking about the functions of culture. . . including the power culture has to map out our values, attitudes, and behaviors. That's another big reason why I would have advised Tebow in the way I've described.

We need to pray for him as we would for any brother or sister facing great pressure. Let's pray that he makes good decisions off the field.

Following Jesus. . . or Jersey Shore? . . .

2012-01-05T09:04:00.005-05:00

The frustration level is growing. It's prompted by one of the many things so many mature Christians are seeing as marks of the up and coming young adult folks who confess to being followers of Jesus Christ. It's seen anecdotally. Research confirms it. Parents, pastors, and youth workers lament its presence in the lives of young adults. Yes, it's been there in many ways, shapes, forms, and manifestations within every generation of God-fearing/following people since humankind's rebellion in Genesis 3:6. But it's nuanced in some interesting ways in today's world. We need to see it, reckon with it, and address it in urgent and grace-filled ways.

I struggle to find words to adequately describe it. But I continue to try. It seems to be a combination of misunderstanding what it means to live out what Jesus tells his disciples in John 16:24 - "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." . . . and a cavalier "I'll embrace faith on my terms, thank you!" attitude that leads to a life that's dis-integrated and incredibly conflicted. The former is indicative of a lack of compelling example and clear instruction from those of us who inhabit older generations and are thus entrusted with the task of contextualized spiritual nurture. The latter is evidence of how young people have eagerly embraced a postmodern worldview and a lifestyle of narcissism. Together, it's a dangerous mix. . . and perhaps even deadly.

Like the young people I meet who confess faith in Christ and then eagerly shack up while seeing no connect between confessed belief and lived-out behavior. No longer the exception, it's becoming the norm. . . which is even more frightening as that feeds these notions and trends.

Last week, a friend was lamenting this reality and said this: "We need to get our kids to read John 3:16 in the Amplified Bible to understand what it means to believe in and follow Jesus." He then quoted what he himself had memorized as a way to humbly remind himself of who he's been called to be: "For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He [even] gave up His only begotten ([a]unique) Son, so that whoever believes in (trusts in, clings to, relies on) Him shall not perish (come to destruction, be lost) but have eternal (everlasting) life." Trusts in. . . clings to. . . relies on. . . challenging words.

This week I've been finishing up my re-read of Nancy Pearcey's Saving Leonardo: A Call to Resist the Secular Assault on Mind, Morals, & Meaning in preparation to teach for the next two weeks in our Doctor of Ministry track in Ministry to Emerging Generations at Gordon-Conwell Seminary. The book's subtitle captures what has happened in our culture and what needs to happen. As one example, I can't tell you how many Christian young adults and teenagers I've talked to who say they love Jesus, and then say they love MTV's Jersey Shore. Instead of recklessly relying on the One who created and defines reality, they thoughtlessly and even unknowingly embrace the "reality" of a television show promoting values, attitudes, and behaviors that should make us grieve. Snooki and The Situation define reality, and then show them how to live in that twisted "reality."

Some words I read in Pearcey's book last night are worth passing on and pondering. . .

"Beliefs have always shaped history. . . . The (Nazi) gas chambers disproved once for all any misguided notion that ideas are neutral. Today ideologies determine how the state governs, how the economy is managed, how the news is framed in the media, and how the education system shapes the next generation. Wrestling with worldview questions is no mere intellectual exercise. It should always be done with an overwhelming sense that we are dealing with questions of life-and-death-importance. . . For young people, learning the skills of worldview awareness can literally mean the difference between spiritual life or death. Ideas exert enormous power when set to music in a YouTube video or translated into glowing images on the theater screen. . . . When you go to the theater, do you simply let the story wash over you? Or do you have the skills to analyze what a film is saying? . . . T.S. Eliot once noted that the serious books we read do not influence us nearly as much as the books we read for fun (or the movies we watch for entertainment). Why? Because when we are relaxing, our guard is down and we engage in the 'suspension of disbelief' that allows us to enter imaginatively into the story. As a result, the assumptions of the author or screenwriter may go unnoticed and seep all the more deeply in our consciousness. When we 'suspend disbelief,' we must take care not to suspend our 'critical faculties.'"

May God in His mercy and grace equip us to faithfully follow Jesus and nothing/nobody else, so that we might equip those who come after us to do the same.

Is It Getting Dark In Here? . . . .

2012-01-04T11:18:00.002-05:00

OK. . . this one may seem like a bit of a downer. It has to do with the question we've all been asked more than enough times over the last few days - "Did you have a nice holiday?" I've got no problem with people asking the question. Rather, my problem is with the answer I've had to give. . . or at least think about giving if I'm going to be honest. "No. . . it wasn't what I'd call 'good' in the sentimental way we like to think about Christmas. It was actually quite wearying."

Now, the clarifier. . . I encountered an unusually large amount of brokenness, difficulty, and darkness that hit both close to home and in my circle of friends. There was a great amount of physical suffering. . . among both young and old. We're not talking about stubbed toes, the 24-hour flu, or broken bones. We're talking major disease, sudden onslaught of sickness, people knocking on the door of physical death, and even death itself. There was a great amount of emotional suffering. Some of it was caused by imbalances in the brain. Some of it was caused by choices made, circumstances, or victimization. Some was caused by loving on and dealing with those being beaten down by the trials of life. And there was the relational brokenness so many experience.

Yesterday I contributed a question to a very small circle of folks who have been in an email loop in support of a family that is in desperate need of prayer and support. I commented on the fact that the level of spiritual oppression and darkness seems to be escalating, snowballing, and just running wild. One person immediately commented that they were seeing the same. . . a host of unexplained and sudden illnesses, a cascade of broken and disintegrating marriages, and so on. I've talked to other folks who are seeing the same thing. It's like the volume has been cranked up by the hound of hell.

Yes, it's dark in here. And, it's getting darker. But we must never lose sight of the fact that God is still God. We must cling to Him and His promises. And, we must realize that in the midst of it all, we must gird ourselves up with a growing knowledge of and reliance upon God's Word.

This morning, I began my day by thinking about the amazing words of Psalm 119. The resolve of the Psalmist is amazing. Over, and over, and over again he states his commitment to knowing and living God's Word. The Psalm is both incredibly beautiful and deeply challenging. And then you hit the parts on the gift of suffering: "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word." (v.67) "It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes." (v.71) "This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life" (v.50).

I often remind my kids (and myself) that they should fill the well of their hearts up with God's Word. Life is sure to hit points where we will need to draw from what's in there and to draw deep. I've also been blessed to hear from so many sufferers who have been sustained by God's Word.

Today, in the midst of the darkness, may we (me) say with the Psalmist. . .

With my whole heart I seek you;
Let me not wander from your commandments!
I have stored up your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.
Blessed are you, O Lord;
teach me your statutes!
With my lips I declare
all the rules of your mouth.
In the way of your testimonies I delight
as much as in all riches.
I will meditate on your precepts
and fix my eyes on your ways.
I will delight in your statutes;
I will not forget your word.

So. . . Are You Full? . . . Or, Did Christmas Let You Down Again? . . .

2012-01-02T11:57:00.004-05:00

Last week I spotted an article on shopping that classified the different types of shoppers that we are. Appropriate, I guess, in the midst of the busiest shopping time of the year.

The article got me thinking about a shopping phrase I've heard a few times in recent years. . . usually from people who you think would know better than to use it. The phrase? . . . "retail therapy." I got to wondering how entrenched the phrase really is so I googled it and found that there's actually an entry and a definition in Wikipedia. Here it is. . .

Retail therapy is shopping with the primary purpose of improving the buyer's mood or disposition. Often seen in people during periods of depression or transition, it is normally a short-lived habit. Items purchased during periods of retail therapy are sometimes referred to as "comfort buys".

Retail therapy was first used as a term in the 1980s with the first reference being this sentence in the Chicago Tribune of Christmas Eve 1986: "We've become a nation measuring out our lives in shopping bags and nursing our psychic ills through retail therapy."[citation needed]

In 2001, the European Union conducted a study finding that 33% of shoppers surveyed had "high level of addiction to rush or unnecessary consumption".[1] This was causing debt problems for many with the problem being particularly bad in young Scottish people.

Researchers at Melbourne University have advocated its classification as a psychological disorder called oniomania or compulsive shopping disorder.

I find it sad and ironic that at the very time we should be celebrating the coming of the One True Redeemer, we spend our time, money, and effort looking for redemption at the mall. It never works though. Didn't we listen to what John Mayer sang in "Something's Missing"? . . .

I'm dizzy from the shopping mall
I searched for joy but i bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pain
And a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all

As a young child, I thought that all the stuff Christmas morning would bring would fill me up, make me happy, complete my life. But in a few hours, I could see the gauge on my satisfaction level dropping. Then, the next Christmas, the vicious cycle would begin all over again. It's because we look in all the wrong places. Many of us who are Christians complain about the fact that the cashier is not allowed to say "Merry Christmas" anymore. It's "Happy Holiday" only. They took Christ out of Christmas! But so do we when we think that stuff will make us happy.

The late Mother Theresa warned about this empty cycle that so easily entraps: "Once the longing for money comes, the longing also comes for what money can give - superfluities - nice rooms - luxuries at table - more clothes - fans - and so on. Our needs will increase - for one thing brings another - and the result will be endless dissatisfaction."

Are you there yet? It's been a week and a day since you opened your presents. If you're feeling empty, don't be surprised. That's why we have Christmas to celebrate in the first place. He's the "something missing" . . . and He came to fix it.

How To Use Social Networking Tools More Effectively In Your Ministry. . . .

2011-12-27T08:27:00.003-05:00

Social Networking. . . good or bad? It depends on the person using it. Like everything in life, we can use things to the glory of God, or we can use them to the glory of the world, the flesh, and the devil. With our default setting locked in on sinful self-promotion and narcissism, we really need to be careful. . . . and our kids are watching. We must be very, very intentional about modeling healthy and redemptive social networking habits, thereby nurturing kids into faithful use of these potentially great and potentially destructive tools.

It's these realities and a host of horrible stories that have prompted us to launch our Digital Kids Initiative here at CPYU. As we've been spreading the word, we've had some youth workers step up and share with us some ways that they've been intentionally redemptive about their use of social networking in their ministries. Kevin Vinay is one of those youth workers. Kevin's been very intentional and careful about how he integrates this stuff into his youth ministry at Pleasant Hills Community Presbyterian Church in Pittsburgh. In fact, Kevin stepped up and sent us some great stuff that I want to share with you today. Here's what Kevin's come up with. At the end, you'll find a link to a pdf Kevin put together that you can download and reference as you seek to integrate social networking into your youth ministry redemptively. Thanks Kevin!

The vast majority of teenagers in our ministry (and across our nation) use Facebook and text messaging as their primary forms of communication with peers. Because of this, our youth ministry staff makes great efforts to reach teenagers from our community by using these popular communication tools to their fullest potential. Here are few basic ideas to begin using Facebook and text messaging more effectively in order to proclaim the gospel to a greater number of students:

USING FACEBOOK:
First, create a Ministry “Like” Page. Tell students from your ministry to “LIKE” your page (do this at every major event!), and continually remind them to invite their Facebook friends to do the same. As the number of students who LIKE your ministry’s page grows, the more free on-screen advertising you’ll have.

Second, post with purpose! Consider the specific reason for each post. Right now, our ministry has committed to two scheduled posts each week. We post an “I Am Second” video at the beginning of each week (purpose: evangelism) and we post pictures and videos directly after our weekly youth group event in the middle of the week (purpose: outreach). “I Am Second” videos share the gospel. The pictures and videos entice students to TAG, LIKE, or COMMENT on our content. This makes our ministry more visible to all of their Facebook friends. We do create posts outside of the weekly plan for special events. But, even these posts have specific purpose and plan, and are high-quality.

Third, post routinely at specific times. Develop a schedule for specific weekly posts. This point is crucial to the effectiveness of your Facebook page! Be as consistent as possible with the day and time of your weekly posts. This creates a rhythm for your content. Once students realize that rhythm exists, they may begin looking for the Monday night video (our “I Am Second” video) or Wednesday night photos (our mid-week event content). Create and share your posts at a time when the majority of your students are online – probably later in the evening – so that there’s a better chance they’ll see it in their newsfeed.

Fourth, make sure your posts are high quality. Content should be clear and creative, fun and informative. Attach a picture to the post. Make a short, funny video instead of just typing out a message (flip-cams are a good investment). Catch their attention. It doesn’t have to win an art contest or a Grammy, but it should be worth viewing.

Fifth, tell students to give feedback in your post. Studies show that people will give more feedback on Facebook if they’re told to do so. Tell students to LIKE the video, TAG the photos, COMMENT and/or SHARE the content in their profile. This increases your ministry’s visibility to more of their friends.

USING TEXT MESSAGES:
First, purchase a group text messaging service. “But it’s expensive,” you say. It’s not too bad, and we’ve found that it’s worth the monthly cost. Plus, if you use texting and Facebook effectively it will reduce the money you spend on postcards and newsletters (and time creating/sending them).

Second, tell your students to sign up (again, at every major event). Our students have signed up for the service, and now we can contact almost ALL of them instantly, and at the same time. We have a sneaking suspicion that students don’t always read their snail-mail (call us crazy!), but we can guarantee they read our text messages!

Third, send event information and reminders. Students are notorious for giving the excuse, “I forgot.” So, remind them about the event just hours – or even minutes – before it begins.

Fourth, consider the timing of your message. Send messages out when you know your students are with friends who aren’t part of your ministry (right after school, during sporting events, etc.). Encourage them to invite those friends to the event that’s coming next.

Lastly, integrate texting with Facebook. So you actually want to spend time with your family on a weeknight instead of sending out a new Facebook message? Fine. Post your info while you’re at work, then schedule a text message for later in the evening that encourages students to check out the Facebook page. Text messaging services should give you the option to schedule future texts.

SOME CLOSING THOUGHTS:
If a new student comes to an event, inviting them to LIKE the Facebook page or sign up for the text messaging service is easy and it connects them to your ministry faster. Communicating with parents can still be done via snail-mail when necessary, although we do have a growing number of parents who look at the content online as well. But, it seems to us that the best way to reach students is to meet them where they are.

We are very cautious about what goes on our page, and several leaders are automatically notified by email as soon as a comment is posted on our page. This helps us delete negative comments very soon after they're posted. I've also followed up with students who have posted negative comments (in person) as a way to foster discussion about online integrity.

You can download Kevin's pdf here.

You can see how Kevin's integrating Facebook into his ministry here.

A Blessed Christmas to You All! . . . Listen and Ponder. . .

2011-12-25T07:52:00.000-05:00

Knocking At Your Door by Bill Mallonee

The Christmas Story. . . Narrated by Kids. . . Nice. . .

2011-12-24T10:17:00.001-05:00

Thanks Mike Flavin, for sending me a link to this. Done by the kids at St. Paul's Church, Auckland, New Zealand. To the rest of you, enjoy. . .

Christopher Hitchens Is Dead. . . How Did You Respond? . . .

2011-12-23T14:39:00.002-05:00

In today's fast-paced media-driven world, the news about atheist Christopher Hitchens' death is old. He died last week. We mentioned it in the CPYU office. Then yesterday, Derek Melleby - director of our College Transition Initiative - blogged on Hitchens' death and how atheists have been helpful to him over the years. Derek's blog post is worth a read.

I've been thinking today about Derek's post. Very thoughtful and challenging. In fact, it challenged me in a roundabout way. Just Derek's mention of Hitchens' death reminded me of what I said in the office when I heard that Hitchens died. I remember saying something like, "I wonder what Hitchens believes now?" Fair question. But I'm trying to remember what kind of tone I used when I wondered out loud. Was it a sober and inquisitive tone that reflected grief over the death of someone who as far as we know died without coming to faith in Jesus Christ? Or, was it the more arrogant, proud, and compassion-less tone we so often use when someone who is not for us but against us breaths their last breath? In other words, was I saddened as I pondered the fact that Christopher Hitchens may have gotten what we all deserve? Or, was I gloating in the fact that I believed Christopher Hitchens got what he deserved? I hope it was the former.

We might not talk much anymore about the culture wars. Personally, I think that's a very good thing. But the years so many Christians spent fighting the culture wars (or paying mercenaries to fight the culture wars for them!) have indeed left some remnants that leave us looking less like Christ than what our calling requires. Perhaps that kind of response to Hitchens' death leaves Jesus grieving twice. . . one for Hitchens, and then for us.

Messing With The NHL. . . Or, How I Could Have Screwed Up The Winter Classic. . .

2011-12-22T09:59:00.004-05:00

We took a little trip to Philly yesterday. Our humble and small CPYU staff loaded up for a road trip that included lunch and a tour of Citizen's Bank Park. That's the home of the Phillies in case you didn't know. It's also the home of the NHL Winter Classic, the new hockey tradition that's turned into a marketing bonanza for hockey and for all kinds of merchandise. In fact, it was the Winter Classic that made the tour even more interesting.

The field was buzzing with workers assembling the rink. Fascinating to watch. On prior Winter Classic telecasts we've been treated to a time lapse view of the rink assembly process. I can guarantee right now that if you tune in, you'll get to see it again this year. I know because as part of the tour, I went into the Phillies radio broadcast booth. Gone were Scott Franzke and Larry Andersen. They'll be back once the season starts. Sitting on Andersen's desk spot was a TV camera positioned to record what was happening on the field. . . and it was recording. On the camera was a note. You can read the note for yourself. . .

Now, you have to understand that our tour guide was already way down the hallway. Out of sight. I was in the booth with Chris and Derek. Then, something crazy happened. I was magically transported in a moral maturity time machine back to my college days. Once there, all sorts of devious thoughts went through my mind. I even wondered if sticking a small handwritten note of my own in front of the camera for a few seconds would yield some powerful subliminal messaging for the millions of folks who watch the Winter Classic in a little over a week. Don't worry. . . we kept our hands off.

When I got home, I posted this little ditty on Facebook with the picture of the camera: Oh man. . . this was far too tempting!!!! First, the NHL places an unsupervised camera in the Phillies radio broadcast booth to film the construction of the rink for the Winter Classic. Second, they put that sign on it. (It's like saying, "Don't eat the cookies that are in this cookie jar.") Third, they let me into the booth unsupervised! Are you kidding me?!?! I guess you'll just have to watch the time-lapse of the rink setup that the NHL broadcasts on the day of the game. . . .

Ron, a buddy of mine from college, was one of the first to respond. . . with this: You are a man of integrity. I'm sure you would not disobey the sign. Of course, if you need to be reminded that you're a man of integrity you might have some integrity issues! Good call Ron. The two of us exchanged a few more posts, some of them recalling felonious behaviors (felonious now, not then. . . of course!) from those college days.

Ron's little reminder got me thinking about integrity. . . especially in light of everything else I posted this week (Abercrombie&Fitch, Ellen, Sophia Grace, etc.). God made us as complete human beings. The Shalom he built into "all things" (including us) at Creation is the most perfect picture of integrity one could imagine. Now, in the midst of our brokenness and undoneness, we are called to pursue integrity in all things. The dictionary defines integrity as "the quality or state of being complete and undivided."

Divided. . . that's what we are amongst ourselves and within ourselves. It needs to stop. Jesus came into the world to make it stop. That's what we celebrate on Sunday. As His followers, we should do all we can to make it stop. One day, He'll make it stop for good. Until then, we need to humbly and gracefully expose and deal with the lack of integrity. . . without and within.

Cultural Hypocrisy. . . and Abercrombie. . .

2011-12-21T06:34:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I blogged about Ellen Degeneres, Nicki Minaj, and the appropriateness of encouraging and celebrating the "Super Bass" worldview among eight and five-year-old kids. I question the appropriateness of the "Super Bass" worldview for anybody.

Yesterday long-time Philly sportswriter, Bill Conlin, stepped down from his job after being accused of sexually abusing children back in the 1970s. The accusations against Conlin are serious - very serious - and so they should be. Sadly, law enforcement agencies across our country are burdened with sexual abuse cases involving children. . . . and it's getting worse.

And yesterday my adult daughter texted me this photo. She took it in an Abercrombie & Fitch store while shopping near Philadelphia. It's a photo of a photo that sits on a fragrance display in the store.

This all got me thinking about just how mixed up and messed up we are as a culture. We stand up and intervene - as we should! - when children are violated and taken advantage of by sexual predators. But then we joyfully and without batting an eye let others prey on children's hearts and minds through imagery, art, song, film, etc. At times, we even applaud it and call it "cute" (see yesterday's blog). I wonder too, if a steady diet of this stuff during the "wonder years" doesn't socialize, nurture, and even create the kind of stuff that law enforcement has to deal with when those children become adults.

The A&F ad should make us think. Kids of all ages paraded through that store the other day. Some were with their parents. Some weren't. Who knows how many glanced at that photo. It's become so common that few, if any (I'm guessing) even stopped to stare. Did anybody even care? But what would have happened if - let's say - a man my age was sitting alone on a bench in the mall just a few feet from the entrance to the A&F store. . . and that man was holding a small copy of that photo in his hand. . . and that man was calling children and teenagers over to the bench to take a peek at his photo? See what I mean?

Perhaps the greatest irony of it all is that A&F has been filled of-late with scores of people buying gifts for others in celebration of the coming of Christ. . . the one who came to undo this mess and bring Shalom.

Crossing The Line With Ellen Degeneres. . . .

2011-12-20T08:37:00.002-05:00

I've been thinking about and processing this since October. That's when I first saw the YouTube clips from earlier in the month. Initially, we gathered around our family computer and laughed at the viral clip of little eight-year-old Sophia Grace Brownlee and her five-year-old cousin Rosie. After all, they're cute. . . really cute. But the more I watched the more I squirmed. I kept watching. . . over and over again. . . and the squirming got even worse.

The effervescent little Sophia Grace wound up on The Ellen Degeneres Show after Ellen caught a YouTube clip of Sophia Grace singing away to Nicki Minaj's hit song "Super Bass." Ellen had the two girls perform live on her stage. Hmmmm. . . isn't that song a little naughty??? In true Ellen fashion, Nicki Minaj showed up, sending the little girls into a hysterical fit of joy. Their parents - in the audience - cried tears of joy as well. Then, the trio sang "Super Bass" together. You can watch it all below.

To be honest, you feel like a killjoy when you start to question stuff like this. But we still need to stand back and ask the hard questions. Did Ellen cross a line? Did the parents cross a line? Do we cross a line when we ignore what's really going on to enjoy the cuteness of a couple of little kids, justifying it all by saying, "Come on, they're only little kids"? Do we allow our emotions to trump responsible thinking and critique? I'm afraid we're losing our ability to think critically and Christianly about all of life, a reality which requires us to recapture and relearn skills that evidence discipleship of the mind.

I took some time to think more intentionally about this whole thing. I wrote up a 2-page 3(D) review of these videos of Sophia Grace with Nicki Minaj for our latest edition of ENGAGE. You can download the pdf of my review here. Use it to provoke your own thought. If you're a parent, talk about it with your kids. If you're a youth worker, spend an entire evening looking at, talking about, and thinking through the video clips.

After you read it, I want to know. . . Am I over-reacting? Should we be concerned? Is this evidence of deeper issues in our culture? If so, what are those issues? What do you think?

Tim Tebow Lost. . . . Phew!

2011-12-19T10:14:00.003-05:00

I'm glad Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos lost yesterday. I know. I know. How dare me attack a Christian brother. . . especially when that Christian brother is St. Tim. Please. . . hear me out first.

Am I alone in thinking that Tebow-mania was getting out of hand? Am I the only one that wanted it to stop? How can I say that? What's wrong with me?

I've been watching and listening as the media world and the church have been obsessing over Tim Tebow and his last-minute heroics over the course of the last few weeks. With each victory, the frenzy grew. As I've watched, I've tried to process what I've been seeing through theological and cultural lenses. I've come to a few scattered conclusions that I'd love to develop further in the coming weeks, but let me pass on some observations.

1. Tim Tebow is an incredibly gifted athlete. No clarifier or explanation needed here.

2. Tim Tebow is a gifted leader. He's proven that at a variety of levels. You have to be a good leader to be an NFL quarterback and to get your team behind you in the way that Tebow has. Right now, those leadership abilities have combined with his athleticism and talent in a combination that has him right where God wants him to be. . . for right now. Who knows where the journey will end for Tim Tebow.

3. Tim Tebow has been fun to watch. We all love the "Rocky" stories, don't we? This has been a little bit like that. I, for one, have enjoyed it.

4. Tim Tebow may not be a conventional NFL quarterback, but for now, he's the Denver Bronco's quarterback. The critics need to leave the guy alone and let him play. Just because he doesn't play the way others who have gone before have played, doesn't mean he can't play the way he can and does play. Make sense?

5. Tim Tebow got his talent from God. . . just like every other professional athlete out there. Tim Tebow's athleticism is no more and no less a gift from God than the athleticism of a guy like T.O. . . . really. Just because one guy is more of a gentleman, good sport, and role model than the other. . . well. . . that doesn't make his athleticism more of a gift than the athleticism of the other. I say that because many of my Christian brothers and sisters seem to have forgotten that. Watching either (or all for that matter) run, jump, tackle, catch, pass, etc. . . . any and all athletic ability "sings" praises to the Creator of athletic ability.

6. Tim Tebow verbally and consciously gives glory to God. That's the way it should be. We can celebrate and learn from that.

7. Tim Tebow has become the Christian celebrity du jour. . . and that's not a good thing. Sure, it's nice to have followers of Jesus talk about their faith in ways that the world can see. But I'm always afraid that we church people latch on to stuff like this too much, too soon, too loudly, and with way too much enthusiasm. That's why I'm glad Tim Tebow lost yesterday. We need to stop the Christian celebrity thing. We need to stop wearing the Christian celebrity as "our guy." We typically do that with a chip on our shoulder and it's really not very attractive. Not only that, but when we adopt all the lingo ("tebowing," etc.) I think it tends to trivialize and cheapen our faith.

8. God doesn't need Tim Tebow, he doesn't need me, he doesn't need any of us. Really. God is the sovereign Lord of the universe. He is in control. He is working out His will. We need to know that will and humbly ask Him to use us as He sees fit as He reveals His Kingdom in us and through us. But let's never forget. . . we are flawed human beings. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we lose. That keeps us in our place.

Tim Tebow. Let's not think too lowly of him. Let's not think too highly of him either. But by all means, keep watching and enjoying the remainder of the NFL season. Make sense?

OK Boys. . . We're Burning Your Trophies. . . .

2011-12-16T10:37:00.003-05:00

So my nephew - who was a pretty decent football player himself a few years ago - texted me this morning. "Google new canaan football team burns trophies." My nephew lives in Connecticut near New Canaan, which is how he caught wind of this crazy little story that's a sign of the times.

Here's the story. . . . It seems that the New Canaan Black 8th grade football team made the playoffs. They reached the semi-finals but lost. That left them in third place. A few weeks after season's end, the team had a little party at one player's home. The players' parents decided to celebrate the team's season and success by presenting their boys with trophies. . . third place trophies. The coaches then gathered the boys up and took them and their trophies to a local park, where the coaches then proceeded to have the boys burn the trophies. All three coaches lost their jobs after the incident went public. One coach apologized, saying the message they intended to send was positive one. Residents of the town are concerned that the message that was sent was all wrong - that not finishing first is the same as failure.

As I think about this story, there are a couple of things to ponder here. As a parent of kids who were athletes and as someone who coached for years, I value a positive athletic experience. Athletics is about learning, putting forth an effort, cooperation, and having fun. I never believed that "winning is the only thing." I know there are coaches that scream, yell, and coach for nobody but themselves. Not good.

On the other hand, we live in a world where kids are coddled, hovered over, and buffered from consequences by parents who are far too child-centered. Everybody needs to get a trophy, a pat on the back, and a "you're awesome!" even when the effort is mediocre or sub-par. Not good as well.

So, while I don't fault the parents in this story (I don't really know. . . I wasn't there nor do I know the families), it does serve as a reminder that 1)we've placed too high a premium on winning, and 2) we coddle our kids way too much. Both are threads running through the fabric of today's youth culture. In this story the threads cross. . . and look what happened.

What do you think?

Next week I'll blog a little "show and tell" on the trophy that I proudly display on my desk.

My Youth Ministry Hero. . . .

2011-12-15T09:00:00.002-05:00

Ever get asked about who your youth ministry hero is? I've been asked, and I've asked. When asked, I've had a standard answer since the day I graduated from high school. It's not one hero, but three. They happen to be the three youth workers who invested in my life during high school. I know God used each of them to lead me to the point where I'm at today, vocationally and spiritually.

First there was Phil Douglass, a Tennessee boy who as a seminary student came to the Philly suburbs every weekend to lead a rambunctious group of teenagers at Supplee Presbyterian Church. I was in ninth grade. I quickly decided I wanted to spend time with Phil and to be like Phil. I also liked Phil's Firebird! Today, Phil is on the faculty at Covenant Theological Seminary, influencing young people like he did forty years ago.

Then there was Mike Barbera, another seminary student who spent loads of time with me during my sophomore year. Mike is now pastoring at Church of The Good Shepherd in New Orleans. I love Mike as I loved Phil. Oh, did I mention that Mike drove a dark green Kahrmann Ghia convertible?

Finally, there was Chuck Wiggins, another Philly boy who was with us for two years! Same thing . . . loved being with this guy who loved being with me. Chuck brought along an extra benefit to our youth group. . . his wife Kathy. Together, they made a great team. Both are now pastoring in Florida. And Chuck drove a VW Beetle. . . I guess you have to when you have a wife!

There they are. . . my three youth ministry heroes. They loved Jesus and they loved me. In recent years, I've added a fourth. I blogged about her a couple of weeks ago. She loves Jesus, she loves kids, and she's 81-years-old! Today, I want to share with you why she's my youth ministry hero. I don't have to write anything. You'll know why she's my hero when you watch the video of the little surprise Tic Long threw on her in Atlanta. Thanks Verna. . . for being a hero to us all!

Cohabitation. . . 14-Fold Since 1970. . . .

2011-12-13T09:32:00.003-05:00

The latest edition of ByFaith Magazine includes an article by Susan Fiske on "The Spiritual Costs of the Missing Family." It's an article about marriage and its demise in our culture, citing the fact that marriage is now occurring less frequently and much later in life. At the same time, there's been an increase in cohabitation, also known as "living together." The article reports that children today are far more likely to spend part or all of their childhood in a cohabitating household, than they are to see their parents divorce. Makes sense since cohabitation has increased 14-fold since 1970. (Amazing fact to ponder, isn't it?)

Researchers have been busy crunching the numbers to see just how many people are choosing to cohabitate in today's culture. All we need is a set of eyes to know that marriage continues to decline and more and more young adults and older adults are choosing to live together. As Christians, we must remember that while "it's not good for man to be alone," God's intention was for a committed and exclusive monogamous relationship between a married man and woman. A "marriage" without the commitment is really not a marriage at all.

Susan Fiske looks at just how wrong and dangerous the cohabitation alternative really is. In a sidebar in the article, she cites a report from the Institute for American Values and the National Marriage Project and five themes that illustrate current trends. Here they are:

1. Children are less likely to thrive in cohabitating households, compare to intact, married families.

2. Family instability is generally bad for children.

3. American family life is becoming increasingly unstable for children.

4. The growing instability of American family life also means that contemporary adults and children are more likely to live in what scholars call "complex households."

5. The nation's retreat from marriage has hit poor and working-class communities with particular force.

There are deep implications here for our families and for youth ministry. Are we building our marriages? Are we spending too much time focusing on things other than our children? Are we communicating a Biblical vision for marriage and trumpeting it's great mystery, wonder, and blessings? Are we challenging cultural conventions - like cohabitation - from a Biblical perspective? Are we calling sin "sin?" Are we preparing our students to honor and glorify God in every area of their lives as they move into adulthood?

You Write My Blog. . . .

2011-12-09T08:44:00.005-05:00

When I saw this very creative yet sobering Christmas card that's been circulating through the world of social media, I sat in silence. . . just staring at it. I'm curious about what the rest of you think. I've taken some time to think about the card and what it says about us as individuals and a culture, but I've decided to hold back until hearing from you. So, go at it. . . write my blog. . . what do you think?

I'm Too Sexy For An . . . iPad?

2011-12-08T10:02:00.003-05:00

Thanks to a very generous friend of CPYU, now I've got a dilemma. While making a point about the speed of technological advances, I mentioned publicly during a seminar that the iPad 2 is out and I don't even have an iPad 1. A couple of days later I get an email from this friend who was at the seminar announcing a donation to our ministry that is to go towards the purchase of two. . . count them. . . TWO! . . . iPads for use at CPYU. Wow!

Since we never had the funds for an iPad, I never took the time to research them or to look at how to best utilize one here at CPYU. After all, why feed info to a covetous nature?!? But now that the money's there, it's time to get to work. So I start to research. Apple versus Android. iPad versus Galaxy. Oh man. . . this is getting complex.

At this point, I know my "Jobite" friends are going to come at me full steam ahead. "Why are you even taking the time to ask the question?", they'll tell me. (Go ahead. . . post your comments!). I know I'm setting myself up here as most of my friends in the youth ministry world have volunteered. . .no, paid! . . . to be spokespersons for Apple. Why in the world would I ever even consider anything but an iPad? Sounds a little bit like iDolatry to me.

Some might say I'm asking all the wrong questions in preparation to make a decision. Which platform meshes better with a PC? . . . after all, that's what we run here at CPYU. Which device has the most versatility? Which device can we best employ for our research, presentation, and travel purposes? Which one is less likely to break when - not if - I drop it? I've got lots of questions.

So, the other day a young computer wizard comes in to our office to talk about some other tech issues with Chris Wagner. I walk through the room and notice he's clicking away on an iPad. He obviously knows scads more than I do about technology so I ask him if he would be willing to stick around when he was done so that I could ask him a question. The question? . . . "Why should I get one of those (as I point to said iPad) as opposed to. . . let's say. . . a Samsung Galaxy?"

He responded by thinking out loud and offering an objective comparison of the two devices. Then he smiled and giggled a little a bit. That was before he said something like this. . . "If you walk into a Starbucks holding this (as he pointed to said iPad), more people are going to notice." In other words, my "sexy cool" factor would increase exponentially. . . which in my case really doesn't matter that much at all. . . since 10 times zero is still. . . well. . . you get the point.

The fact of the matter is that I'm way beyond worrying about amping up the sex appeal and cool factors. . . at least I hope I am. If I'm not, I should be. Which got me thinking again about the constant battle our culture throws us into over pursuing style rather than pursuing substance. It's happening big time in the church. It's happening big time in youth ministry. It's happening in our very lives. And, we wear sometimes pursue and choose brands/technology not based on what it will do for us, but on what it will do for us in the eyes of others. Make sense? Come on. . . we all do this at some level.

A few years ago my buddy Jay Delp said something that opened my eyes to this stuff. We were standing on a Denver street outside our hotel at the National Youth Workers Convention. Jay had his ever-present video camera hoisted onto his shoulder as he walked towards us. "Hey Jay," I said. "We've got some money to buy a nice high-quality video camera at CPYU. Why would I need that big thing you've got as compared to the smaller camera we're looking at?" After hearing about the camera we were considering, Jay simply said, "They're almost identical. Cameramen, however, think this one will make you look more important when you walk into the room."

OK. . . so this is not intended to be an indictment of the iPad and those who use them. Not at all. It is intended, however, to be an indictment of our lust for style at the expense of substance. . . no matter what brand we choose to adopt as our own in any aspect of our lives.

Still. . . I have a decision to make. iPad or Galaxy? How about a little help here. . .

And while you're thinking, this commercial captures a little bit of what I'm talking about.

Priority #1 - She Must Be Hot! . . . .

2011-12-07T10:17:00.003-05:00

There it is! That's the Zits comic I saw in Monday's paper. Zits is my favorite comic strip. It follows the adventures of a teenager named Jeremy as he finds his way through the maze of adolescence in contemporary youth culture. His clueless parents try to "find" him while he's immersed in his own journey. It bothers me just a little bit that his clueless father is named. . . Walter.

Every now and then Zits gets me thinking about cultural realities that deserve our attention. Things like trends that we should notice, respond to, and perhaps even work to reverse. Our growing obsession with "hot" as the central goal of personal identity and as a prerequisite for relationship. . . that's a big issue these days. Ever notice those Facebook photos? The self-obsessed self-portraits? The attempts to not only be "hot," but to be seen and liked and commented on as "hot"? It's pervasive.

"Hotness" is so destructive. For one, the standard for "hot" is so high that no human being is able to achieve it. We're always trying to get there, but always left wanting. "Hotness" leads us to objectify others and ourselves. People are not people. They are commodified. "Hotness" is killing marriage. When a person's "hotness" is what draws us to them, the inevitable forthcoming "cool down" period makes marriages go cold. If all we're committed to is having a "hot" spouse. . . well, time and gravity will some day ruin it all for us. . . and for our spouse as well. On the upside, it just might be our commitment to "hot" that saves our economy. We spend billions of dollars every year to remain "hot" in the eyes of ourselves and others. And when we start to "chill," we spend even more money to cover it up and fool the world into thinking that we're still "hot."

Could it be that a powerful apologetic for the truth and reliability of God's Word is found in I Samuel 16:7? "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." Wow. . . that sure tells the truth, doesn't it?

How'd we get here? One of my heroes is Jean Kilbourne. She's been unpacking, explaining, and challenging our obsession with "hotness" for years. Her book Deadly Persuasion: Why Women and Girls Must Fight the Addictive Power of Advertising rocked me when I first read it years ago. It's worth a look.

Yesterday, one of my Facebook friends posted this video clip of Kilbourne speaking on a college campus. She does that quite a bit. Students need to hear her message. Maybe this is a clip you should show to the kids you know and love.

Is Jonah Telling the Truth? . . . .

2011-12-06T13:07:00.002-05:00

Over the course of the last couple of days, the video I've embedded below has been spread far and wide courtesy of YouTube. I watched it a few times yesterday. Yep. . . it's been there for awhile. I know the song - Sia's "Breath Me" - a song that has quite a compelling video itself. Give Jonah's video a look. . .

After watching, I had some questions and responses that are indicative of what it means to be alive, living, and growing up in today's culture.

First, I wondered if this is real. With social media allowing anyone and everyone to jockey for an audience and their 15 minutes of fame, I'm always wondering if this kind of stuff isn't just a ploy concocted by a real or self-made-online persona starved for attention. I hope it's real because I don't want to believe that there are people out there who would try to fool us on this kind of stuff. I hope it's not real because I don't want to believe that there are people out there who are getting hammered like this. Who can know for sure?

Second, real or not in this case, the story is all-too-real in all-too-many real cases. Jonah speaks for a growing percentage of our population. Granted, his story may be nuanced. But his very real pain is increasingly generic. Identity formation is a battle-field. Kids feel abandoned and alone. Bullying is real. The support systems that should be holding kids up are largely absent on non-functional. Being fourteen in today's world isn't at all like it used to be. Jonah is telling the truth. . . if not for himself, for somebody(s).

Third, I wonder if we're listening. Whether we realize it or not, we all have Jonah(s) living in our midst. And if we're hearing and seeing, we can't be like the priest and the Levite in the story of the Good Samaritan. Instead, we need to be like the Samaritan, willing to give of ourselves in every possible way to meet the needs of others, regardless of the cost we might incur personally. When we see him or her, we should take pity on him or her. We must be people who "go and do the same."

As I watched Jonah in his video, I couldn't help but think about my dear friends Marv Penner and Rich Van Pelt. They've devoted their lives to equipping us all to love and minister to kids like Jonah. Today, I want to say thanks to Marv and Rich for all they do to stop, look, listen, and respond as the hands and feet of Jesus. . . and for teaching us to do the same.

Smells Like Christmas. . . Or It Should! . . .

2011-12-05T13:47:00.004-05:00

We're late. . . again. Still don't have a tree. No lights up outside. I haven't even gotten them down from the attic yet. Maybe tonight. This all reminds me of something that happened a few years ago when we were late with our Christmas preparations. When my then 19-year-old son arrived home from college, our lack of preparation caught him by surprise and got him a little bit irritated. The fact that the tree wasn’t yet in the house and we hadn’t baked any cookies caused him to verbalize his disappointment in us with this: “It doesn’t smell like Christmas!” He had just come off a difficult finals week and he was looking forward to the comforting sights, sounds, and smells of our family Christmas that he had come to treasure before heading off to college. We had let him down.

His statement got me thinking beyond the scent of pine needles and fresh-baked ginger cookies, to another way so many of us are letting our kids down these days. Not coincidentally, it has to do with Christmas. We’re reminded every year at this time of the coming of the Savior, Jesus Christ. As a Christian father, I’ve been entrusted by the Savior who came and who transformed my life, with the awesome privilege to embody the message that He is savior and Lord in all my comings and goings with my kids. That Christmas, with my son just home from college,yet ready to move out of his teenage years, I wondered if my life had served him well, “smelling,” if you will, like Christmas as he grew up under my care.

I often wonder how well we – Christian parents - have lived out this God-given responsibility. Generally speaking, today’s teens are a consciously spiritual bunch. Perhaps more than any other generation in recent time, they are on a deliberate quest to understand and embrace faith. While this is good news, it comes with a set of distinctive issues related to our unique culture and times. Because swimming in the soup of our times is pushing more and more kids away from a belief in absolutes and transcendent truth, orthodox biblical Christianity is not only not embraced, but is often looked down on with scorn. Christianity is rejected because Christians believe they alone have spiritual truth. Consequently, more and more kids struggle with Christianity’s exclusivity. In addition, the emphasis on feelings over and above rationality leads our teens to look for a faith system that is emotional. Globalization and immigration have opened the door for a variety of previously foreign and unfamiliar faith systems, especially various forms of eastern spirituality and mysticism, to find a new home in North American youth culture. All this has combined to create an environment where our kids step up to the spiritual buffet table to load their plates with a personally created faith system that combines a variety of elements into a personal mix put together to satisfy their spiritual palate and hunger. Because each individual has the freedom to choose what they want for themselves, varied day-to-day tastes allows them to change and adapt from day to day. Every plate is custom made by the individual consumer. No two meals are alike. To those observers who are more rational and logical, the ingredients on individual plates are often seen to be incompatible. But to young people, they have been given the freedom to be consistently inconsistent and they see no contradictions.

This individualized spiritual journey has had a profound effect on the faith adopted by our self-described Christian teens. Christian Smith’s groundbreaking research on teenage spirituality reports that 84 percent of teenagers in the United States believe in God. At first-glance, that encouraging number seems to indicate that our efforts to lead our kids to faith in Christ have been working. But a closer and more careful look at the study’s data indicates we should stop congratulating ourselves, and start getting concerned. Shouldn’t we be thrilled that more than 8 out of 10 teenagers believe in God? Not after reading the results of Smith’s research. The real question is who or what is the God they believe in? The research concludes that their God and their faith isn’t in the God and faith of the Bible, the one who sent His Son, Jesus Christ, into the world. Rather, it is what Smith labels as “Moralistic, Therapeutic, Deism.” In other words, kids believe that to be a Christian means that they are to be good people. They believe that God exists to serve them by helping them to feel good, happy, secure, and at peace. And, they believe that even though God made the world, he’s only active and involved in our lives when we need him to resolve a problem. In reality, only 8 percent of teenagers “believe in God, attend religious services weekly or more often,” hold faith to be “important in their lives,” regularly “participate in religious groups,” and “pray and read the Bible regularly.”

The reality of emerging teen spirituality is that “the majority of American teenagers appear to espouse rather inclusive, pluralistic, and individualistic views about religious truth, identity boundaries, and the need for religious congregation.” This explains the rise of teenage interest in New Age mysticism, Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Kabbalah, Wicca, and other spiritualities. When it comes to those who claim to be “Christian,” that brand of Christianity is becoming distorted and secularized. Smith says that “Christianity is either denigrating into a pathetic version of itself or, more significantly, Christianity is actively being colonized and displaced by a quite different religious faith.” More and more teens who have been raised in Christian homes or who have embraced Christianity are adding other spiritual elements to their plates. It’s not uncommon to encounter a teen who believes that Jesus was the son of God, believes in the virgin birth of Christ, believes the Bible is the word of God, and also believes in reincarnation, reads and follow their horoscope, and sees no contradictions between any of these beliefs. In addition, many who hold to a more orthodox and biblical Christian faith have embraced it as something they do from time to time, rather than someone they are all the time. Instead of integrating their faith into all of life, they live a dis-integrated faith that only touches select parts of who they are. Consequently, their stated beliefs may be separated from how they view and respond to authority, how they conduct themselves in dating relationships, who they are as a student or athlete, etc.

Why is all this so important for us to know? For the simple reason that we are getting ready to celebrate the coming of the Savior, and because our greatest responsibility to our teens and the surrounding culture is to consistently talk about and live out the Incarnation of Jesus Christ. They were made to follow Him. Are you spending time each day in God’s Word, building your relationship with Him? Are you spending time every day in prayer, asking God to change you and your teens into His image and likeness? And, are you prayerfully living out the will and way of God in every area of your life with dependence on God’s Spirit? If you are, then your house “smells” like Christmas all year long.

Hey Central Pennsylvania Youth Workers! . . . Host A College Transition Seminar. . .

2011-12-01T09:31:00.007-05:00

“A few summers ago I was roasting a marshmallow at a family picnic. Seated next to me was my wife’s younger cousin, David. David was about to head off to college, and at one point in our conversation he said, ‘All the advice I was given at graduation only told me what not to do: don’t get drunk, don’t have sex! I need to know what to do.’ I took a bite out of my s’more and thought, He’s right.”

These words from my friend and co-worker Derek Melleby’s amazing book, Make College Count, capture the essence of the horribly negative and way-too-minimal message most kids get from the adults in their lives before heading off to college. That short conversation has played a significant role in Derek’s mission to equip young people to make the most of the college years to the Glory of God. That mission is at the heart of Derek’s ministry with our College Transition Initiative here at CPYU. I love what Derek’s doing. I love what Derek’s saying. I love seeing the fruit of his work.

While I believe that every youth worker I know should be addressing this issue and inviting Derek in to speak to their students, CPYU is offering an exciting opportunity for youth workers here in the Central Pennsylvania area to host a College Transition Seminar. The College Transition Seminar provides a great opportunity to bring families together to have meaningful conversations about college life, and to equip students to live out their Christian faith during the college years. Dozens of churches that have already hosted the College Transition Seminar have found it to be a great event to invite community members to attend.

In the coming few days, we are seeking venues here in Central PA to host a 2-hour College Transition Seminar on the following dates:
-March 22 (Thursday evening)
-March 27 (Tuesday evening)
-March 31 (Saturday morning)
-April 12 (Thursday evening)
-April 14 (Saturday morning)
-April 17 (Tuesday evening)

Here’s how it works. . . CPYU will waive the normal $800 honorarium. CPYU will handle all registrations online through our website.

What we’d like the host to do is. . .
-Provide a room that holds at least 100 people
-Provide AV support
-Provide light refreshments (if possible)
-Welcome guests and introduce Derek before he speaks
-Assist in marketing the event at your church and with other local youth workers/churches (we provide the materials)
-In addition, the host will receive a nice thank you pack of CPYU resources ($100 value)

If you’re at all interested or would like more information/clarification, please get in touch with Derek as soon as possible.

Thanks for considering partnering with us to serve future college students and their families!

Watch a clip of Derek Melleby speaking.
Read an overview of the College Transition Seminar.
Hear what others are saying about the College Transition Seminar.
Learn more about CPYU’s College Transition Initiative.

Kids and Plastic Surgery. . . .

2011-11-30T13:23:00.008-05:00

There she is. . . smiling at me from her perch on the magazine rack at Barnes & Noble. Everything about her looks absolutely perfect as she stares off the cover of the December 2011/January 2012 edition of Seventeen magazine. Her name’s Nikki Reed. She caught my eye because she was the co-writer and co-star of the semi-autobiographical 2003 coming-of-age film, Thirteen. The irony is that her cover photo captures the hair, eyes, skin, nose, lips and chin every pre-teen and teenage girl covets as they struggle through their pre-teen and early-teenage years. Her face is framed by teasers trumpeting this month’s Seventeen content. They direct readers to look inside to learn about fashion, beauty, and "your perfect party look." This and every other teen girl magazine cover sets the “appearance bar” higher and higher for our kids.

It shouldn’t come as any surprise that a growing number of kids who are developing physically during the transition from childhood to adulthood compare what they see transpiring in the mirror with what they see on the covers of the magazines. Of course, that’s the way the marketers want it. The sad result is a generation of kids who buy the lies that “I am what I look like” and “if I don’t look like that I’m worthless.” This reality is not only feeding the epidemics of eating disorders and depression among children and teens, but is also feeding the dissatisfaction that’s leading a growing number of kids to pursue cosmetic procedures and plastic surgery in an effort to improve their physical appearance.

Plastic surgery is certainly nothing new. It’s a legitimate branch of medicine that is dedicated to restoring or altering the human body. It is used to reconstruct and correct abnormalities caused by birth defects, developmental problems, injuries, infections, or disease. It’s also used to cosmetically reshape body structures in an effort to improve appearance and feelings of self-worth. According to The American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, there has been an over 155% increase in the total number of cosmetic procedures. In 2010, over 2 percent of cosmetic procedures were performed on children 18 and under with the most popular procedures being otoplasty (cosmetic ear surgery), rhinoplasty (nose jobs), and breast augmentation. In addition, teenagers are seeing cosmetic surgeons for liposuction, otoplasty (reshaping of the ears), breast enlargement, breast reduction, breast lifts, collagen injections, microdermabrasion, and chemical peels. Teens in South Korea are flooding cosmetic surgeons with requests for procedures that enlarge the eyes. And believe it or not, there are reports that a growing number of girls here in the U.S. are getting breast enlargements from their parents as high school graduation gifts!

What’s fueling this growing trend that’s not expected to slow down anytime soon? A look at today’s youth culture reveals several reasons for our teens’ love affair with cosmetic procedures.

First, there is the intense and pervasive presence of image pressure. In a Bliss magazine survey among British girls with the average age of 14, two-thirds of the girls surveyed said “the pressure came from celebrities with perfect bodies and boys.” Girls who compare themselves to the never-ending onslaught of images know that to be acceptable is to be young and to be beautiful. The boys have bought the lie as well. If they see themselves as not good enough and there’s the possibility of getting better, they’ll pursue it with little or no regard for the cost. Cosmetic surgeons report that more and more teens are showing up holding celebrity photographs that capture the appearance they want for themselves.

Second, our kids are growing up in a media culture where an endless number of shows - especially "reality TV" - trumpet and glorify the possibilities and merits of cosmetic alteration. They know it can be done.

Third, our teens live in an instant fix society. If something’s broke, hurting or not right, there’s a pill, prescription, or procedure available to make it right. Because they want to avoid emotional and physical pain, they’ll opt to do anything that makes them feel and/or look better.

Fourth, our culture is extremely narcissistic. This reality is certainly not limited to today’s youth culture. We’ve all learned to selfishly do “what’s best for me.” If I’m growing up with my eyes focused on myself and my needs, it’s not at all surprising that I’d want to fix anything that I don’t like about me.

Fifth, peer pressure is extremely powerful. When our teen’s peers, boyfriends, and girlfriends buy into the appearance pressure, they will in turn pressure our kids to buy the lies that so easily lead to the desperate and vain measure of cosmetic procedures.

Finally, parental pressure plays into the mix as well. It should come as no surprise that many teens who feel the pressure to change their appearance have learned from parental example. Liposuction and breast augmentation are the top surgical procedures, and botox injections are the top non-surgical procedure for both men and women alike. That example, coupled with our criticisms of our teens (“You look like you’re gaining weight.”, “You’re skin looks so pale.”, etc.) can lead our teens to desire and choose the plastic surgery option.

What can youth workers and parents do to instill a healthy sense of physical self in children and teens so that they will avoid the growing obsession with plastic surgery?

First, we must communicate that plastic surgery, while sometimes necessary for one’s physical health, is not the road to redemption. Our dissatisfactions with ourselves are rooted in a yearning for God and His gift of new life. No surgeon’s knife, Botox filled needle, or miracle cream can fill the God-shaped hole in the soul. Plastic surgery is a redemptive dead-end that leaves you feeling empty.

Second, we must teach our kids that aging and death are theological realities that can be fought, but never beaten. Humanity has been cursed to physically age and die since the rebellion of Adam and Eve. Try as hard as we like, those realities can never be reversed on this earth. It’s a fact that time and gravity are not especially kind to the human body. Consequently, they need to realize that a growing number of people in our culture are locked into an anti-aging exercise in futility.

Third, we must shoot straight with our teens about the risks related to plastic surgery. A simple search of the Internet uncovers stories and warnings about the very real dangers of some of the most popular cosmetic procedures sought out by teens.

Fourth, we must teach our kids about the seductive power of advertising. They need to know that marketing is designed to seize on and magnify their insecurities. Then, marketers make product promises that translate into “needs” that lead to purchases. This vicious cycle is formulated and reformulated every day for one reason. . . .getting our kids to spend their money. As parents, we must teach our kids to recognize and understand the lies ads tell and sell. (Here's a link to a helpful list of questions you can use with students to filter ads "Christianly").

Fifth, we must never lose sight of the fact that in God’s grand scheme, suffering builds character. Even though the “perfect appearance” is an always changing cultural construct, our kids still buy the lie, feeling like they don’t measure up. But if we heed the words of James, we soon realize that the suffering of not measuring up or being “imperfect” is part of the growth and maturation process: “Consider it all joy. . . . whenever you face trials of many kinds. . . . the testing of your faith builds perseverance.”

And finally, we must affirm kids' value and worth as God has created them. When I was a teen I never liked what I saw in the mirror. Sure, the pressure wasn’t nearly as great back then. But when we were kids the pressure was there. Nothing meant more to me than to know that even though I felt I fell painfully short in the eyes of the world, I was loved and accepted by my parents and youth worker. Over time, that message finally got through and I came to realize that my “flaws” were really only unique differences (please remember that next time you look at my picture!!).

A few years ago I ran across this ad for Botox that features a middle-aged married couple locked in an adoring embrace. The ad wants me to believe that they were “perfect” in appearance. The ad’s text reads, “We promised to grow old together, not look old together.” What a tragedy. If I can communicate God’s radically different message on appearance to students, I trust that the growing obsession with plastic surgery won’t hit home for the kids I know and love. I pray the smiling young faces I see around me will reflect the image of Christ, and not the images on the front of the magazines.

Oh, and if you're not convinced. . . take 27 minutes and give this horrifying video a look. . . .

Kids Who Cheat. . . And The Now and Future of Marriage. . .

2011-11-29T06:38:00.004-05:00

I wonder if they really think they did anything wrong. And, if they think they did something wrong, what degree of wrong do they think they did? I'm talking about the 20 students from the New York suburbs who find themselves in trouble for charging between $500 and $3,600 to take the SAT and ACT for others. The last two students just turned themselves in. Some could face prison sentences of up to four years.

This is a multi-layered story in terms of the cultural forces at work. Sure, there's the cheating. But there's also academic pressure, life goals, parental pressure, societal expectations, misplaced priorities, and idolatry in the layer beneath the cheating. There's other stuff I'm sure.

What struck me as I read the news this morning is that this story offers just a small peek through a window into what we've become, who we are, and where we're headed as a society. We've got some heart problems, for sure. And if left unchecked, the roots of cheating will continue to snake their way through the soil of our lives. If we look ahead and ponder the fruit our lives will bear in the future, it becomes obvious that we need to whack away at the roots where we seem them growing in ourselves and in our culture.

One reality we should consider in all this is how cheating at a young age in the simpler and smaller things of life, sets the table for us to grow up willing and able to embrace cheating in the larger and more significant things of life.

As I pondered that this morning, I opened Scotty Smith's Everyday Prayers to find the November 29th "Prayer for Marriages." I love how Scotty reminds us not only of our own brokenness and bent, but for our need to seek protection from the evil one, as his plan is to undo Shalom in every area of life, including the high and holy covenant of marriage. We know this to be the case because cheating is not only prevalent in marriages outside the church, but also within. That's something we need to hear and receive as a somber warning.

Scotty Smith's "Prayer for Marriages" is one worth sharing and praying today. Perhaps it echoes the yearnings and realities of your own heart, as well as the concerns you have for your friends. It does both for me. . .

"No one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church." (Ephesians 5:29-32)

Lord Jesus, I’ve been greatly saddened lately over the growing number of my friends who are disconnected from, despairing of, or dying in their marriages. I’m saddened, but not shocked, for two reasons. It makes all the sense in the world to me that the one relationship meant to mirror your love for your Bride would be under constant assault by the powers of darkness.

Why wouldn’t Satan want to do everything in his power to keep us from showing and telling the stunning story of your great affection for your Bride-how you have sought and bought a most ill-deserving people, like us, to cherish, nourish and cause to flourish… forever? Of course marriage is going to be a war zone-the front lines of spiritual warfare until the Day you return, Jesus. Of course, Satan doesn’t want the gospel to take root and offer the fruit of your redemption and restoration in our marriages. He hates you, he hates the gospel and therefore he hates your Bride.

But I’m also not shocked over the great percentage of marriages that are struggling, because I know my own heart, Jesus. Like most of us, I came into marriage, as you well know, with little gospel and big naiveté. I had no clue about the depths of my brokenness, the degree of my selfishness, or the devices of my sinfulness. I had no clue about what it would mean to love one person well the rest of my life, someone who needs the gospel just as much as I do.

And I certainly had no clue that your love alone is better than life… that your love alone can slake the deepest thirst of my heart… that your love alone can provides the depths of intimacy I crave and for which I have been made… that your love alone can free me to love another sinner-spouse the way your love me as your spouse-for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish… forgiving and forbearing… accepting without acquiescing… doing the hard and heart work of the gospel.

So, Lord Jesus, I pray for my friends, as I pray for myself, protect us from the evil one, and restore us to gospel sanity and gospel reality. Give hope to the hopeless, conviction to the foolish, nourishment to the famished… grace-filled wisdom to the betrayed and godly sorrow to the betrayers. So very Amen, I pray, in the loving and restoring name of Jesus.

Discipline Gone Aright! . . .

2011-11-27T19:01:00.002-05:00

Once every couple of years I leave church in tears. Today was one of those days. As our worship service began, our pastor informed the congregation that any visitors or friends would be excused as we stood to sing the morning's last hymn (yep. . . we still sing hymns!). The reason. . . a church discipline announcement that was good news. He made the announcement two more times. Each time, he sounded more and more excited.

One of the reasons I love my church is the seriousness with which we take the matter of church discipline. It's seriousness bathed in grace, evidenced in heartbreak, and designed to keep guys like me in check. Sometimes we not only need to know what we should do, but we need to be deterred from doing what we shouldn't through our submission to the discipline of the church. As I write those words I realize just how antiquated, old-fashioned, and legalistic they sound in today's world. Maybe that's because so many of us grew up seeing discipline administered with the law rather than with grace. Maybe that's also because the culture has somehow convinced us that nobody. . . NOBODY. . . has a right to tell me what to do and how to live unless that somebody is me.

Back to my pastor. On a handful of occasions I've seen him preface an announcement of discipline with a solemn declaration of our shared brokenness. That's followed by an explanation of a long process of showing love and grace that's been rejected. A name and offense are stated. Everyone in the room knows that they are no better than the one named. In every instance, I've left personally challenged and very broken. Not today. Our pastor told us that he had not one, but two good bits of news. We then heard the announcement that two men who had chosen a lifestyle of unfaithfulness to their families and their God. . . and who had been excommunicated from the church. . . had truly repented of their sin. We welcomed them back into the fellowship of the church! Restored. Again, I left with tears in my eyes. This is the way it's supposed to work.

We need church discipline. I need church discipline. The challenges we face in the world are pervasive and compelling. I need my church. We all need a church like that. I'm glad I'm there.

Praise and Thanksgiving. . . .

2011-11-24T08:33:00.002-05:00

Something for today from my favorite little prayer book, The Valley of Vision.

O my God,

Thou fairest, greatest, first of all objects,

my heart admires, adores, loves thee,

for my little vessel is as full as it can be,

and I would pour out all that fullness before thee

in ceaseless flow.

When I think upon and converse with thee

ten thousand delightful thoughts spring up,

ten thousand sources of pleasure are unsealed,

ten thousand refreshing joys spread over my heart,

crowding into every moment of happiness.

I bless thee for the soul thou hast created,

for adorning it, sanctifying it,

though it is fixed in barren soil;

for the body thou hast given me,

for preserving its strength and vigour,

for providing senses to enjoy delights,

for the ease and freedom of my limbs,

for hands, eyes, ears that do thy bidding;

for thy royal bounty providing my daily support,

for a full table and overflowing cup,

for appetite, taste, sweetness,

for social joys of relatives and friends,

for ability to serve others,

for a heart that feels sorrows and necessities,

for a mind to care for my fellow-men,

for opportunities of spreading happiness around,

for loved ones in the joys of heaven,

for my own expectation of seeing thee clearly.

I love thee above the powers of language

to express,

for what thou art to thy creatures.

Increase my love, O my God, through time

and eternity.

Faces Change. . . The Youth Worker and Pornography. . .

2011-11-23T07:35:00.004-05:00

When living out your calling includes hour after hour spent standing at the front of a room, your intuitive ability to read the faces in the crowd sharpens. Are they with me? Are they bored? Am I connecting? Do I need to shift gears? Did I just say something that struck a nerve? The answers to those questions are sometimes written all over the faces in the room.

This last weekend I got to indulge in one of my favorite things - spending time with youth workers, this time at the National Youth Workers Convention in Atlanta. The youth worker world is a world I love. I know how important they are to the Lord, to parents, to the church, to kids. I've not only been a youth worker, but I've been shaped and blessed by so many youth workers over the years. . . something I need to consciously be thankful for on the day before Thanksgiving.

Fortunately - and unfortunately - the discussions in our youth ministry world increasingly include talking about pornography. It's a good thing to be talking about pornography because it's one of the greatest threats to the spiritual and relational health of ourselves and everyone we minister to. It's an unfortunate thing because it's so pervasive and enticing in today's world. The statistics tell us this. Our own experience tells us this. Common sense tells us this. The sheer number of stories we see, hear, and find ourselves in tell us this. And, the faces I see in the room tell us this.

I'm noticing that every time I mention this horribly twisted and fallen expression of the sexuality that God created and enthusiastically declared as "GOOD". . . something happens in the room. Postures and expressions change. The quiet in the room moves to a new dimension. You can sense an increased uneasiness that comes with having to talk about something that we need to talk about that's been hushed and hidden - corporately and individually - for far too long. That all adds up in a mix that offers convincing evidence of our need to talk, talk, and talk some more about something that's destroying kids, families, culture, and even some of us.

At one point this last weekend, the faces I saw in the room combined in a moment that screamed urgency. In fact, what I saw as I talked briefly about pornography made it difficult for me to concentrate on the task at hand for the next few minutes. It wasn't what I would call an epiphany. Rather, it served as a strong kick in the pants to be more deliberate in my quest to dig more deeply into this social and spiritual scourge. I've said it before: It's a different world. I was a 12-year-old boy when I first saw the inside of a Playboy magazine. We found it. . . it didn't find us. It wasn't readily available. To be honest, it's frightening for me to think about who I might be today if my 12-year-old self was 12-years-old in 2011. . . seriously.

When I walked out of that seminar room this last weekend, there was something else added to my "to do" list. I've been pondering what my focus should be for my 2012 reading theme. Every year I choose an area of focus. This last year it's been books on Christian/Biblical justice. Next year, I'm going to read about marriage, family, and sexuality. Sure, that's been the overarching focus of my reading since the day I was 18-years-old and set foot on the college campus as a Sociology major focused on issues related to marriage and family. But these issues are nuanced in today's culture and we need to deal with them, at both a corporate and individual level. My 2012 reading focus was clarified last weekend.

One more thing. . . with Thanksgiving causing us to focus on the good gifts God's given, how about thinking tomorrow about more than the gift of daily bread. If you're a youth worker, think about God's gift of love, marriage, family, and your sexuality. . . and say "thanks.": And as you think, ponder how each of those relational threads is woven together in your own life. What does that tapestry look like? Does it reflect the glory of God? Or is it a mess that needs to go through some cleaning up? We'll all see some of both.

Last night I was sitting and watching the news with my 19-year-old son. He commented on the disgusting nature of some of the new allegations and details coming out in the Penn State sex-abuse scandal. After that story, there was a report detailing how the average weekly number of sexual-abuse reports in our state had doubled during the week after the Penn State story broke. I mentioned that I believed a multiplicity of factors - including the growing pervasiveness, presence, and nature of pornography - are combining in a perfect storm that will only make these stories more common as the years pass. That's the way we need to act now - corporately and individually - on the uneasiness in the room and the expression on our faces. I think we know. . . we've got to start dealing with this stuff as it impacts our culture, our kids, their families, and even ourselves.

Youth worker. . . if the uneasiness is rooted in what's happening in your own life, speak up to someone you trust as the first step in getting the help that you need.

A Desperate Sign of Our Crazy and Empty Times. . . .

2011-11-21T14:05:00.005-05:00

You could call this news of the weird or just too crazy to be believable. Still, my newspaper says it's true. . . and it got me thinking. It's one more sign of the times and our complete obsession with what we look like. I guess that when it comes to our identity, it's what's on the outside that matters. Keep reading. . . and then ask yourself. . . "Is this a result of our appearance obsession?" . . . "Is it a peek into what the future of our appearance obsessed culture is going to look like?" . . . or, "Is it both?"

It seems there's this woman living in Miami who wanted to get a job working at a nightclub. These days, it isn't just your people skills that gets you jobs serving drinks or waiting tables. . . or maybe anything else for that matter. Nope. It's highly likely that your first and most lasting impression is made and sealed with your looks. That's what's emphasized in today's world. Qualification is only skin deep. At least that's what this lady must have come to believe. So, she starts looking for a doctor who can perform some plastic surgery. . . specifically, some curve enhancement in the posterior area. This relatively recent development - by the way - has always been surprising to me. It used to be that people wanted to de-emphasize that part of their bodies if it was a bit over sized. Trust me. . . I know! Yep. . . cultural standards change and they do shape the way we look at ourselves and others.

Back to our female friend. She finds a female doctor to perform the surgery, or so she thinks. The story takes a strange turn in that the female doctor is neither a doctor nor a female. The supposed female doctor has - however - performed posterior enhancing surgery before. . . on herself . . or himself. I'm not real sure what to say here. Using some type of tube, the man who's not a woman or a doctor proceeds to use a tube-like device to inject a crazy mixture of cement, tire-sealant, and mineral oil into the job-seeker's backside. What results - as you can imagine - is great pain that has led to a need for further corrective surgery, an inability to work, and a criminal case.

OK . . . this story is extreme. But it is also a reminder. We long for relationship, for significance, and for love. And then in our desperation, we do desperate stuff to try to find any or all of the aforementioned things for which we've been created. So widespread and common is this universal human trait that most of our attempts to have these voids filled go unnoticed and are not the least bit newsworthy. But when something like this story comes along, maybe it's time to pause and look at ourselves and the unique traps that we fall into over and over and over again.

Augustine knew the Scriptures. He knew the secret of what it means to find one's significance in the arms of a loving God. He wrote, “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in thee.” When we are filled with Him, we don't need anything else to fill us. . . not cement, not mineral oil, not tire sealant, not "the right" shape, nothing.

Shhhh. . . It's a Secret. . . Don't Tell Verna. . .

2011-11-18T07:30:00.005-05:00

I've got a friend you need to meet. And if you're in Atlanta at the National Youth Workers Convention tonight, you will. . . but you have to keep it quiet. Verna Kline is in her 80's. She drove to Atlanta from central Pennsylvania yesterday along with the rest of the crew that staffs the On Fire Youth Center in Myerstown, Pennsylvania. Verna's been doing youth ministry for over 60 years! She loves Jesus. She loves kids. I've seen firsthand - over and over and over again - how much kids love Verna.

The amazing thing about Verna is that in an age where style is pursued over substance and relevance is believed to be a pre-requisite for effective youth ministry, Verna and her ministry prove just how faulty those assumptions and beliefs are. Verna knows that it's most important to be yourself, love Jesus, and love kids.

I first met Verna years ago. I live in central Pennsylvania. Verna is one of the prototypical Mennonite/Brethren women who populate our area and who pursue the most important things in life. Whenever I see her I want to ask her, "Verna. Can you bake me a pie?" In fact, I usually do! Verna's so busy spending time with kids that she passes that duty off to her daughter. Because CPYU is located in Verna's neck of the woods, I see her at our many area training events. She's a mainstay. Just two weeks ago I did a day-long training event and there was Verna for the entire day. . . sitting and paying attention. . . taking notes like there was no tomorrow. . . concentrating on everything I was saying. Verna is a living example of the Psalmist's commitment as written in Psalm 71:17&18:
17 Since my youth, God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your mighty acts to all who are to come.

Verna doesn't know it, but there's a surprise waiting for her in the big room tonight. At some point, my buddy Tic Long is going to call Verna up on the stage to be honored for her years of youth ministry. When that happens, thousands of youth workers are going to get to see what youth ministry is all about.

If you're here in Atlanta, would you please do two things. First, don't let Verna know about this. I know she won't be reading my post because she doesn't use a computer or a smart phone. We're safe. And second, let's let Verna see and hear how much we appreciate her.

Thanksgiving, Drought, Famine. . . and Ibrahim. . .

2011-11-17T10:01:00.006-05:00

Thanksgiving is one week away. I thought about that this morning. Sadly, the thought was sparked by knowing that there's only a week to get any preparation finished. . . and there's lots to do. Realizing I needed to re-focus on giving thanks rather than the tyranny of the urgent, I started to scroll through the Rolodex in my head for a list of things to be thankful for. The Rolodex paused as I pondered a couple of things that happened yesterday.

Lisa and I had the privilege to go into our daughter's sixth grade classroom to talk about our trip to Kenya and Rwanda with Compassion International. She has her students studying the geography and culture of those two countries. She gave us a half hour to share some pictures and experiences related to the geography and culture. Her students paid close attention and asked some very insightful questions. Many of those questions centered on the nature of poverty, which afforded us the opportunity to help them understand the contrast between being a young person in America, and being a young person in Africa. While the morning wasn't about Compassion International, we did show them a couple of pictures of our sponsored child Ibrahim, who was their age when we visited him in Nairobi's Mathare slum a little over two years ago.

It was a great surprise to find a letter from Ibrahim when we returned home. Corresponding with your sponsored child is one of the great joys of Compassion sponsorship. Ibrahim's words at the beginning of his letter capture what the letters mean to him: "First and foremost, I thank the almighty God for helping us continue communicating together and you continuing supporting me." Those words mean so much to me.

After catching us up on what's been happening in his life (school, music, running races, etc.), Ibrahim ended with this request for prayer: "I hope you have the news that our country is in a disaster of drought and famine. I request your prayers so that we can come out of this disaster. I hope you will pray for my country Kenya. May the almighty God bless you."

Thanksgiving is one week away. I realize how much I've been given. Like you, I'm in the top 1% to 2% of the world's population in terms of my wealth. I am reminded of the responsibility I have to steward the Lord's resources. To whom much has been given, much is required.

Ibrahim and children like him all around the world have little to nothing. Sponsoring them through Compassion International gives them food, medicine, an education, and an opportunity to hear the Gospel and be nurtured in the Christian faith. Not only am I thankful for what I've been given, but I'm thankful that Compassion International can take the "loaves and fishes" of our gift of $38 a month and multiply it in ways that God uses to transform young lives. Because of $38 a month, Ibrahim and a million other kids like him have a present and a future.

I would like to invite you to give thanks this year by considering sponsoring a child through Compassion International. . . just click here.

An Invitation into Praying Deeply. . . .

2011-11-15T10:19:00.004-05:00

I've found a new morning companion in Scotty Smith's recently released book, Everyday Prayers: 365 Days to a Gospel-Centered Faith. Scotty invites us to pour our hearts out to God each morning in ways that are truly transforming. I am grateful for this book and want to pass it on to you as a recommendation.

This morning, Scotty had me pray this prayer entitled "A Prayer About Beloved Thornbushes". . .

"I will block her path with thornbushes; I will wall her in so that she cannot find her way. She will chase after her lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my husband as at first, for then I was better off than now.’" Hosea 2:6-7

Lord Jesus, I’ve praised you for the fall foliage of western North Carolina, the panoramic wonder of Cape Town, SA, everything about Switzerland, the Eden-like echoes in Butchart Gardens on Victoria Island, and the azure-blue waters kissing the sugar-white beaches of Destin, Florida. But today, I praise you for the gift of thornbushes.
Lord Jesus, you love me so much that when I love you less you come after me with tenacious uncomfortable providence. You are unrelenting in your commitment to rescue my heart from all illusions, mirages, broken cisterns, idols and wanna-be lovers. I so wish you didn’t have to be, but I am so grateful that you are so doggedly committed to us.
Oh blessed and beloved thornbushes, ever block my path when I begin chasing after lesser gods and other lovers. Hedge me in like a formidable fortress. Cause me to lose my bearings and my way when I set my GPS for an affair of any kind. Frustrate my every attempt to look for more or settle for less than Jesus…
That you are jealous for me and the affection of my heart is the greatest compliment you could ever give me, Lord Jesus. Who am I that the Lord of glory would make me a part of his bride for eternity? Who am I that you would rejoice over me with the festive joy, the impassioned delight, and the desire-filled gaze of a bridegroom?
How I long for the Day when I will never again have to say, “I will go back to my husband as at first…” Until that Day, Lord Jesus, that consummate wedding day, keep me sane, centered and settled through the gospel. So very Amen, I pray in your holy and loving name.

Sexual Predators. . . Some Facts from the Penn State Case. . .

2011-11-12T16:57:00.004-05:00

I'm sure there's much that hasn't been said that's going to surprise lots and lots of people. What has been already been said is quite horrifying. . . almost too horrible to digest. Have you read the grand jury report from the Jerry Sandusky sexual abuse case? If you haven't, you should. It recounts - in vivid detail - what every human being is capable of. I want to encourage all my youth worker friends to give it a good look. Consider it preparation for the inevitable. If you haven't already had to deal with this in your church or community, you will.

As I read the report, I was reminded of other cases with which I'm more familiar. It's eerily similar. Since being thrust into some difficult circumstances and situations in the past, I've learned this about predators. . .

1. They are careful and calculating cultivators. They know exactly what they are doing. They are drawn to those who are vulnerable. They dance, dance, and dance around some more with great care. Their careful attention serves to keep them from getting caught.

2. They are conniving. They're masterful - MASTERFUL - at weaving lies and deception. They are not only good at deceiving their victims, but they are especially good at deceiving their closest family and friends.

3. They are convincing. You can't believe how convincing they are until you sit with a young victim and hear them say, "I just assumed that what they were doing to me was normal." They convince their victims that they have the victim's best interest in mind. All they have in mind is satisfying their own twisted needs, desires, and perversions.

I've also learned some things about the closest family and friends of predators who have been exposed. . .

1. You just can't believe the accusers or the accusations. The evidence can be right under your nose, and you just don't believe it. How many times have we heard people say of a predator, "He/She is just not capable of doing something like this!"?

2. You just won't/don't believe the accusers or the accusations. Even after confessing guilt in a court of law, there are predators whose closest family and friends still refuse to believe the truth. It's a combination of wanting to believe the best of those we love, along with the power of the predator to deceive.

3. Lack of belief sometimes leads to complicity.

If there's anything good that come out of what's happening at Penn State it's the wake-up call that might lead to preventing some horrible stuff from happening to a host of kids in a variety of places. It's the realization that not only is this stuff real, but that we need to have systems and protocols in place in our youth groups and churches to both prevent and redemptively deal with it all.

Keep listening. Jerry Sandusky's story will continue to unfold. There's much, much more to learn.

Joe Paterno. . . And More Lessons. . .

2011-11-10T09:58:00.005-05:00

Yesterday morning I was sitting with my wife in the Susquehanna Club at the Harrisburg International Airport. The TV to our left was on Fox News. I looked above Lisa's head and saw a large framed photo on the wall that I've seen many times before. I said to her, "Turn around and look at who's on the wall above you." I snapped a photo of that photo with my phone. The photo I took is to the left. It's a familiar scene that's been happening on Saturdays for years a few miles north of where we sat. There was Joe Paterno leading his Nittany Lion team onto the field in what has become known as Happy Valley. At the exact moment I was taking the picture, a story broke on the TV. . . Joe Paterno had just announced that he was retiring at the end of the year. No joke, exact moment.

I love football and I have followed Penn State over the years. I know several people who have played for JoePa. This year, one of the team's leading players is the son of a man who was a part of my earliest youth ministry efforts. As I blogged two days ago, my son Josh had been coached at camp by Jerry Sandusky when Josh was a middle school player. We have a picture of the two together. I admired Sandusky for his charitable work with children.

Yesterday, I tried to verbalize the feelings I was having to my wife, Lisa. My friend Adam McLane had asked me to put it all in perspective for people who don't live here in Pennsylvania. Adam's question had me struggling to find words to describe the feeling I had. What I said to Lisa has nothing to do with Penn State and football. To be honest, I don't bleed blue and white. What I was feeling was more a response to being duped. . . deceived. . . fooled. I don't think I would have been able to find the words for my emotions or even had those emotions if I hadn't had a couple of unfortunate opportunities to have experienced those emotions already in some very deep and personal ways over the last few years in situations that are eerily similar. The Penn State situation simply triggered memories and emotions in ways that allow me (in some small manner) to understand what folks in the Penn State situation are feeling. It's like walking into your house after it's been turned upside down by burglars. . . something else I've experienced.

This morning, I woke up to see the newspaper front page you see on the right. Yep, JoePa and news of his firing was there. . . big and bold. But look at the headline to the right. The assistant principal at Lancaster Mennonite High School. . . and sexual abuse. What's next?

I made a statement in my last blog that some people have taken issue with. I wrote: "Welcome to our contemporary world. In a culture saturated with sick and sinful distortions of God's good gift of sexuality, it's no wonder this stuff happens with increased frequency and depth. It's going to be happening more. That should make us wonder: if it starts to happen more, when will it be normalized, overlooked, and no longer criminal?" I stand by that statement. . . with even greater commitment this morning. There is a biblical sexual ethic that's been given to us by the One who created the amazing gift of sexuality. There's a competing cultural sexual ethic that continues to evolve. . . a compelling and convincing ethic that's grabbing hearts, minds, and human beings. . . convincing them that anything goes.

Four things I'm thinking about today. . . .

First, it can be anybody. . . even you. As I said in a youth worker forum last week, all of us are just one split second and one bad decision away from doing this stuff. A good and proper understanding of human depravity and sin is a tool that can keep each of us in check. And, don't be surprised when those closest to you who you might trust the most choose this stuff and eventually get exposed. It happens.

Second, let's talk about sex. I know that these cases are incredibly complex. But if we don't set and continue to set the table for kids in terms of their understanding of sexuality, they will learn, buy into, and live the lies. Then, the more the lies take root deep and wide, the less we'll be concerned about what the Scriptures call sin. Vice will become virtue. . . something that will destroy ourselves and others.

Third, our churches and youth groups are places where this stuff is happening. We can't keep looking the other way. Two of the biggest mistakes we make are to not have systems already in place for dealing with this stuff, and refusing to believe that what's been done has been done. . . and then blaming the victims or those whose hands were forced to respond.

And finally, I believe Penn State did the right thing last night. Yes, JoePa has done much for the University and college football. Yes, Jerry Sandusky was the perpetrator. But when there's a system in place that lets time pass, that covers things up, that looks the other way, that minimizes something that can't be minimized. . . well, then that system needs to be purged. JoePa's sin was a sin of omission that was occasioned, perhaps, by years of living in a world where people would sweep these things under the rug and look the other way.

My home state is now a stage that the country is watching. But this is a story about us all.

Thinking About Coach Sandusky. . . .

2011-11-08T21:15:00.004-05:00

We have a picture of our son Josh with Jerry Sandusky. During his middle school years, Josh attended Coach Sandusky's local football camp. Meeting Sandusky was a treat. The guy worked under the legendary Joe Paterno, he was the defensive genius credited with creating "Linebacker U," and he cared enough about kids to start a foundation for kids. Jerry Sandusky was admired and respected for so many reasons. As the father of a football player, I was thankful for the opportunity afforded Josh to learn under a guy like this.

Now there's what's happening today. The allegations have been floating around for years. Now, there's at least enough credence to warrant his arrest. And the Penn State football program and community is hanging out there in uncertainty. The court of public opinion has been working overtime the last few days, with media outlets across the country hashing, speculating, and editorializing non-stop. . . a contemporary reality that makes it increasingly difficult for the greatest judicial system in the world to function at an optimal level.

In thinking about this story over the last few days, there are some themes that keep popping up in my head.

First, if these allegations are true, Sandusky has perpetrated some horrible, horrible things that have harmed and hurt far too many people. . first and foremost, the alleged victims. Whether you call them predators, child abusers, or creepers. . . these guys are good at lying, cultivating/grooming victims, and keeping up appearances. They're incredibly shrewd. I've seen it up close a couple of times in recent years, and it's scary. I liken what these people do to meticulously creating a bomb. When the bomb explodes, the fallout and shrapnel is spread far and wide. . . echoing on and on and on. The shock waves are rippling through Penn State as we speak.

Second, the legal process needs to be allowed to work. Let's not forget, Jerry Sandusky is innocent until proven guilty. We need to embrace that reality as if we were the one's on trial.

Third, the aftermath of these things can be so upside down. . . horribly upside down in fact. I have seen it happen and heard too many stories. . . blaming the victim while blindly believing and supporting the lying perpetrator. Reality is, they are such good liars that they can convince people that what really happened didn't really happen. . . even when the evidence that it did happen is undeniable. If the perpetrator is someone near and dear to us, many of us just can't and won't believe the allegations to be true. We might need to have the scales fall from our eyes.

Fourth, welcome to our contemporary world. In a culture saturated with sick and sinful distortions of God's good gift of sexuality, it's no wonder this stuff happens with increased frequency and depth. It's going to be happening more. That should make us wonder: if it starts to happen more, when will it be normalized, overlooked, and no longer criminal?

Sneaks are in our midst. When they're exposed or sniffed out, do everything you must to intervene so that future victims can be spared from having to deal with the detonation that will leave them broken and shell-shocked for the rest of their lives.

As you watch this story play out, learn from it.

Homeschooling. . . Now This Makes Sense. . . .

2011-11-05T21:01:00.003-04:00

What took the longest on this post was coming up with a title. I've got the sneaky suspicion that anything I write in that title slot is going to get me in trouble with somebody. I've settled for what it says up there. . . so let's move on. . .

Homeschooling. . . to be honest, the topic has sometimes driven me nuts. Over the years, I've had aggressive and offensive/defensive homeschoolers come at me hard. I've stood at the front of the room fielding questions at the end of a seminar where I know that warring factions are in the room and I'm being set up. I avoid those arguments like the plague. My standard answer and position is this: "Different kids thrive in different kinds of schooling." I also tell people that my kids all went to public school. Christian/Private school options were not affordable. If we had chosen homeschooling, you would have read about our family in the newspaper.

What always concerned me the most was the "why" behind homeschooling. I've seen and heard from an overwhelming number of people who believed that 1)homeschooling was the only "Christian" option; 2) homeschooling is a clear indicator of parental love and a close family; 3) homeschooling guarantees good outcomes; 4) homeschooling keeps kids from being poisoned by the world; 5) etc. I've never bought it. . . any of it. Theologically and biblically you just can't make the case. These attitudes have troubled me deeply. I've also seen too many sheltered homeschooled kids who either couldn't function in the world, or who blew up later in life. The real issue for all kids - homeschooled or not homeschooled - is the darkness in their hearts. . . just like the rest of us. Too much of the homeschooling culture has reminded me of the Pharisees. Fact is, no kid is immune from cultural influence. Still - and people need to hear this - I think homeschooling can be done in the right spirit and that it is the best option for some kids. I could say so much more.

This last week, a friend informed me of an article that a Christian school headmaster had posted on the school's website. The title caught my attention: "Solving the Crisis In Homeschooling: Exposing the Seven Major Blindspots of Homeschoolers." At first glance, it might look like an attack from outside the Homeschool community. Rather, it is written by someone from within. It's a noble and honest article that wrestles with biblical and practical realities. It's worth a read. . . not just if you're a homeschooler who's got your head in the sand. . . but if you're a Christian parent who's got your head in the sand. . . or a Christian parent. . . or someone like me who needs to be reminded of these things.

Give it a read. This is helpful stuff.

The Lesbian Homecoming King and Queen. . . .

2011-11-03T13:59:00.006-04:00

This is a story that is much more multi-layered and complex than any of us might imagine. In day's past, you might read the headline someone sent me from the San Diego Reader - "In Bold Step Forward, Patrick Henry High School Selects Pretty Lesbian Couple As Homecoming King and Queen" - and simply condemn. . . no questions asked. . . no compassion. I think it's a good thing that we don't live (at least most of us don't) in that kind of world anymore. In the past, you've heard me lament the heartless and less-than-God-honoring response to homosexuality that was a part of my high school experience. Sure, it wasn't extreme, but it was bad enough. I'm not proud of it.

This year, Patrick Henry High's Homecoming King and Queen - as voted by their peers - are Rebeca Arellano and Haileigh Adams. It's a first for the high school. It's also a first as far as anything I've ever heard about.

Again, the issues are complex. There's the issue of homosexuality. There's the issue of our attitudes towards homosexuality. There's also the issue of faith. In her acceptance-speech, a cross-wearing Adams was sure to thank Jesus "for making this all possible." We can also learn a lot from the fact that a student body voted for this.

Perhaps I'm even more concerned about remarks made by Taylor Hunter, a senior at Patrick Henry who was raised in an evangelical Christian home where he was taught that homosexual behavior is wrong. Here's what the article reports Hunter as saying: "Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe in, despite what you've been told all your life. And I believe in hot lesbians. . . . . I believe that young people are the future, and we have the power to change things for the better. By honoring the beautiful people - whatever their sexual orientation - we can do our part to make the world a more beautiful place. I hope that 2011 will be remembered as the year that teenagers stood up for physical attraction in all its forms."

Wow! There's a lot to unpack in that last paragraph. Changing attitudes in our kids, the lack of integration of faith into life, a postmodern ethic, the fruit of a culture obsessed with style and appearance over substance, our sense of what is "better", issues of the trustworthiness of parental and Biblical authority. All that before we even get to the issue of homosexuality.

I need to think about all of this some more. In the meantime, I decided to revisit some wonderful recommendations from Dennis Hollinger in his book The Meaning of Sex. His words are concise and to the point. Let me pass some on. . . .

"When we look honestly at the teachings of God's Word, inlcuding those of Jesus, it is evident that Christians and the church cannot legitimize same-sex relations. The paradigm from creation is clear that God created humans in a two-fold way, male and female, and that sexual union is to be a one-flesh relationship between to humans who are not alike in gender. . . .

The church should be unambiguous in articulating God's design for sexual intimacy: a covenant relationship between a man and a woman. The church actually shows great love and pastoral care though its gracious articulation of God's designs. We fail the world and struggling individuals when we continually appeal to more dialogue, ambiguity, and merely compassion. . . .

But at the same time we are called to walk and cry with, empathize, forgive, and support those who struggle with homoerotic impulses. We can never apply biblical ethics with cold callousness and harness. We must recall that after discussion homosexuality in Romans 1, Paul gives a list of other sins that we too easily ignore in the church: greed, envy, strife, slander, arrogance, pride, and lack of love and mercy. . . .

What can the church offer pastorally to those struggling with this issue? First, we can offer hope for healing through divine resources and professional counseling. Second, we can offer hope for healing through divine resources and professional counseling. Second, we can offer ongoing empathetic support and accountability for those who find it difficult to change their inward inclinations, but are called to maintain celibacy. Third, we can offer forgiveness when there is failure amidst the struggle, albeit without watering down the ethical norm. And finally the church must rid itself of homophobia, the hatred of gay persons."

The More I Think I Know. . . .

2011-11-02T08:24:00.003-04:00

Yesterday was a shot in the arm. We had a full day with a room full of pastors, youth workers, parents, and seminary students at the Evangelical Theological Seminary Fall Forum on "Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture." I typically leave those events wondering if I said things correctly, if my words were clear, if I got in the way in any manner that I should not have, etc. I also treasure the speaking opportunities - like this one - where I leave knowing that I've been blessed. That happened yesterday for sure.

How was I blessed? I was blessed by the diversity in the room. We had a full spectrum of folks in that room. Young and old. Suits and ties. Guys who looked like they were modeling skateboard clothes. The contrasts were marked. But everyone was there because they love Jesus and they want to serve Him more effectively by loving and caring for kids.

As the day ended, a man named Levi thanked me for sharing what I did. He was a pastor. Levi was one of the oldest people in the room. I won't guess his age - I'm not good at that. He was, however, old enough to be my dad, I'm sure. He was dressed the way people used to dress to go to church. Nothing about his appearance seemed culturally relevant in the ways we so sadly understand cultural relevance today. He was sitting in the 2nd row on the aisle. He furiously scribbled notes throughout. Levi's presence and words blessed me in great ways, and he did so on behalf of dozens of other folks like him in that room.

First, Levi and the members of his generation in that room reminded me that we spend too much time thinking about style over substance/content. We get too concerned about appearances, and we've even been led to believe that if it's not styled in the latest or most contemporary way, it's not going to work. Not true. Levi and others like him have lots to give. . . and give they do. Why else would a man who (according to our culture) should be retired and playing golf give up a day to learn how to be more effective at reaching and ministering to the next generation? I know lots of kids who have been deeply impacted by guys like Levi. I hope men and woman like him keep showing up.

Second, Levi and the folks like him in that room reminded me of just how counterproductive, dangerous, and wrong our age-segregation practices really are. When marketing has done its job and convinced us that those who are younger need to be separated from those who are older in our churches during worship. . . well, I don't think there's anything good that comes from that. Why in the world would we ever want to break up the body of Christ and keep kids from Levi's wisdom, experience, and knowledge? Why wouldn't we want to foster and create opportunities for Levi and the kids to connect in ways that are mutually edifying?

Third, Levi and his peers in that room reminded me that we should never stop seeking to learn. In fact, we need to be constantly reminded that the more we know and the more we think we know, the more we should realize how much we don't know. That's the person I want to be. It reminded me of the day I graduated from seminary. I had a conversation with a classmate where I verbalized something I had been realizing in the days leading up to graduation: "I wish I knew as much as I thought I knew on my first day of school at this place." I don't ever want to lose the perspective that puts me in my place and keeps me humble.

So. . . today. . . thanks so much to Levi and everyone else in that room. Thanks for what you do. Thanks for your passion. Thanks for your example. And thanks for reminding me of things I must never forget.

Educational Masochism. . . Kids Who Study Too Much. . . .

2011-10-31T09:55:00.003-04:00

Never did anyone accuse me of spending too much time on my homework. Nobody. Not teachers. Not my parents. Not even me. To be honest, I put in more time during my middle and high school years plotting how to NOT have to study and still graduate, rather than working hard to do my best. My teachers all could have used the same rubber stamp ("Walter does not work up to his ability") and saved themselves some time commenting on my report cards.

Perhaps that's why all this talk about what's happening in South Korea is so foreign to my own experience. The work ethic woven in and through Korean youth culture is off the charts. A few months ago I had the opportunity to speak at a Christian Camping training event in the Midwest. During one session, a South Korean couple relayed just how different things were back home. One of the greatest threats to youth ministry, building relationships, and spiritual development was the growing obsession with academics. The wife even told us about how she had been hired to conduct late night tutoring sessions for children as young as elementary age. As I listened, I realized that some of today's South Korean kids were up studying at a time that - when I was their age - I had already been asleep in bed for four hours or more.

I caught a news story this morning that reports on how South Korean children score among the highest in the world on standardized reading and math tests. The price for their success is what has now been labeled "educational masochism" as they punish themselves by studying and overstudying in preparation for university admissions tests. The pressure is so great that private tutors and test-coaching-schools abound. The government is so concerned about what's happening that they've instituted and are enforcing a 10pm curfew on coaching school classes and tutoring sessions. Some of the schools have shuttered their windows to keep going. But there's now a six-man force in Seoul that conducts after-hours raids in an effort to enforce the curfew.

Of course, the article cites the great irony that exists when one compares American students to South Korean students. Over here, we want our students to study harder in order to be more like them. Over there, they want their students to study less to be more like us. Hmmm. I remember people trying to use those kind of motivational tactics with me: "Walter, why don't you study more like_______?" Could it be there there were high-achieving kids in my school who may have heard their parents say something like, "Why can't you be more mediocre like Walter?!?"

The story should serve as a warning and reminder for our need to strike a balance. On the one hand, we shouldn't be creating a culture of educational masochism that leaves our kids pushing harder, harder, and harder to the point of burn-out, self-destruction, and realizing self-serving goals. On the other hand, we need to be encouraging our kids to work to realize their full-potential as they study to the honor and glory of God.

I'm wondering. . . what trends are you seeing among the students you work with? Are they pushed? And if so, who's pushing them? How are you working to instill a balance and to teach them to pursue their academics Christianly?

Katy Perry, Pastors, and Youth Culture. . . .

2011-10-29T08:41:00.003-04:00

On Tuesday I get to spend the day with a group of pastors. Evangelical Theological Seminary is holding their annual Fall Forum and I have the privilege of speaking on Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture. It's always my hope that God will use our ministry at CPYU to challenge pastors to engage the kids in the pew. The potential they have to pull that off is huge. When that potential is realized, it's an even bigger thing. I've seen it happen, and it's exciting to watch!

One of the strategies I use to engage pastors in thinking more deeply about youth culture is to show them an "artifact" from the youth culture. . . something contemporary that's gotten some traction with kids. On Tuesday, I'm going to show them the catchy video from Katy Perry, "Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.). In the video, Perry plays the role of a nerdy little 13-year-old girl who goes through an overnight transformation. . . which is a whole lot like real-life adolescence. Talk about traction. . . the version of the video I've embedded below has over 125 million views. In addition, Perry has built a little cottage industry with a host of little video clips featuring her 13-year-old character talking about her life. Those videos have accumulated tens of millions more views.

After showing the video I'll ask some follow-up questions: How many of you have heard the song before? How many of you have seen the video? I won't expect too many hands to go up. Then I'll ask two more questions: As pastors, what do we do with that video? After viewing that video, what are the youth culture realities we need to address?

Many of the youth workers I know wish that their senior church leadership and pastors would not only know more about youth culture, but they would love to see them respond to youth culture realities by bringing the light of Gospel to bear on the realities that exist.

Here's your chance to help me out and to get a message across to the pastors I'll be with on Tuesday. Give the Katy Perry video a look. Then, fire off a comment with a list of the youth culture realities portrayed in the video that you would like to see the pastors acknowledge and address through their ministries. I'll let them know what you've come up with.

CPYU's Best Kept Secret. . . And It's Free! . . . .

2011-10-28T09:46:00.002-04:00

OK. . . we've got a secret. . . and we wish it wasn't so. Our secret is one of the many outlets we use here at CPYU to get information and analysis out to parents, youth workers, pastors, and others who desire to stay up-to-date on today's youth culture. The secret is our daily one-minute radio spot, Youth Culture Today. I'm thinking about this resource because I'm just a few minutes away from going into our studio to record the next 30 spots.

You may be wondering, "What can you say about a youth culture trend in 60 seconds?!?" I wondered the same thing when we got this started several years ago. Perhaps the best way to give you an answer is to have you listen to a spot. Just go to the Youth Culture Today page on our website, choose a show/topic, and give it a minute of your time.

Maybe you can hear Youth Culture Today on a radio station near you. We're currently on over 800 stations across North America. But to make it even more convenient, you can listen to the show online. We post two week's worth at a time. You can even look at the bottom of the page and subscribe to Youth Culture Today as an RSS feed or through iTunes. It's easy.

To our Youth Worker friends. . . I want to invite you to email or post the link to the show every day so that the parents of your students can tune in. It's one more way we want to help you be a hero to your ministry parents.

If Youth Culture Today is still a secret for you, change that! And remember, our purpose for the daily one-minute show is to make sure that youth culture secrets are secrets no more!

She Drank Herself to Death. . . .

2011-10-27T10:43:00.006-04:00

Maybe you already saw the news this morning. Word is that Amy Winehouse - the singer who was found dead in her bed on July 23 - drank herself to death. The coroner reports that Winehouse had lethal amounts of alcohol in her blood. . . 5 times the British drunk driving limit to be exact. My newspaper said Winehouse died of "accidental alcohol poisoning." The coroner is also quoted as issuing a verdict of "death by misadventure."

I wrote about Winehouse and her music a few years ago. More recently, I wrote an article on Winehouse's death - "Learning from Pop Culture Life and Death" - for the current issue of Youthworker Journal.

After reading this morning's news, I couldn't help but continue to feel sorry for Winehouse's family, people who suffer with alcoholism, and for those who have to live in the wake of a loved one's addiction to alcohol. I grew up separated from it. As I've gotten older, alcoholism has continued to touch me as it has touched and destroyed the lives of so many people I know and love. That's one of the reasons I don't drink. I guess it's a way that I can shake my fist at an industry that has exploited so many in so many different ways. (By the way. . . I don't think that it's wrong for people to consume alcohol in moderation.)

As I pondered the Amy Winehouse story one more time this morning, I tried to imagine the scene of death. Then, I imagined that scene next to the tens of thousands of scenes the alcohol industry has thrown at me through marketing over the years. Many of those scenes have made me laugh. Some of the commercials are crafty and humorous. But then I look at the ads with the scene of Amy Winehouse's death occupying the space between me and the advertising. Or, I allow the people and their families that I know - people who have suffered for years with alcoholism - to stand between me and the ads. When you try to look through and around the pain, the suffering, the sadness, the heartache, and the grip. . . well. . . that's when I want to shake my fist at the alcohol industry again and yell "Liar! Liar!" I'm guessing most of us - especially our kids - don't see it that way. Statistics bear that out.

After reading about Amy Winehouse this morning, I decided on a lark to google "Budweiser Ads" on the Google Image page. I randomly chose Budweiser as a way to remind myself of how this stuff is marketed. Go ahead. . . give it a try. . . and then spend some time looking around. None of the ads show pain, heartache, or death. Instead, they show laughter, joy, and life. In reality, they show relief and redemption. In reality, they really don't deliver on those promises either. In reality, they deliver just the opposite in the long run.

Here are two of the ads. One old. One new. The old one is from the season we find ourselves in. Do they really tell the truth in what they say and what they depict? And, how could we use these ads to spark some healthy conversations with our kids?

The Youth Worker and Sexual Integrity. . . .

2011-10-25T08:19:00.004-04:00

Two weeks from today I get to introduce my friend Jason Soucinek to a group of people who will gather to receive a day of training we're calling "Life Up Close: How To Challenge Teens to Embrace Sexual Integrity." I've been thinking about what I might say to kick off the day. Two of the facts I know I'll tell the folks in the room are these: 1. We are all broken and our brokenness has not left our sexuality untouched, and 2. There's not one of us who hasn't had to battle sexual brokenness and compromised sexual integrity in our past, our present, or our future.

Yesterday, my buddy Doug Fields posted a guest blog from my buddy Marv Penner that addresses these realities. In this case, Marv was writing to youth workers. Marv titled his post "Crossing the Line: 8 Warning Signs of Inappropriate Relationships With Students." PLEASE read it.

Folks. . . let me be blunt. This may be the most pressing yet ignored issue in the world of youth ministry and the personal life of the youth worker. I remember how easy it felt to point condemning fingers at Ted Haggard 5 years ago. That finger-pointing came on the end of arms attached to people who erroneously believe that 1) I'm not broken. . . at least not in this way, and 2) I would never do that! If you believe either or both of those lies, you are one or two steps closer to making that one simple little decision that today might be the only thing that makes you and Ted Haggard any different. Like Marv, I know too many first-hand stories. . . and the book of stories seems to get longer and longer every week.

It's taken me years to admit my brokenness in this and other areas. Maybe it's due to growing up in a Christian culture where this kind of stuff was denied and/or covered up. But I know I'm not above any of it in thought, word, or deed. Today, I thank Marv and Doug for reminding me and everyone else about that reality.

Pastor Beatle. . . Something To Think About. . . .

2011-10-24T09:36:00.006-04:00

A few weeks ago I was chatting with my friend Steve Rabey when he made a very bold statement that I'm not sure I bought, but that I've been thinking about ever since. I have to be careful what I say. After all, Steve is the editor over at Youthworker Journal and I have to pass my regular culture column through him every two months.

So Steve tells me that he's just finished writing a piece on George Harrison. Then, he tells me that he believes that no other musician has addressed themes of spirituality with greater consistency and intent over the last fifty years than George Harrison. I wasn't able to disagree on the spot, although a flood of names started passing through my brain, each of them possible challengers to Steve's theory. I've been pondering the claim since then. To be honest, I wanted to agree. After all, nobody has influenced the shape of music since 1960 like the Beatles. . . collectively and individually. If you weren't around when the Beatles first showed up, you have no idea. Just ask your parents. Honestly, there's been nothing like them since. In a world bursting with musical choices, it's nice to be able to sit back and say "I remember," while hearing the influence of the Fab Four in just about everyone and everything musical these days. The 1960s were an amazing time in pop culture history.

After reading Steve's article - "How George Harrison Changed the Way We Believe" - I have to admit that Steve's bold statement was probably justified. In fact, Steve writes, "Harrison was the most explicitly and consistently theological rock star of the last half-century." Please give the article a read. Three things that Steve wrote really jumped out at me. . .

First, there was Harrison's interest in Eastern Spirituality and Hinduism opened the curtain for all of us to a world that we really didn't know existed. We were ushered into that world by Ravi Shankar and his Sitar. I remember how weird and abrupt it all seemed and sounded. . . like an old friend (The Beatles) had just gone through a complete makeover. Steve tells us that Harrison knew that drugs weren't enough to answer his yearnings. Thus, his journey to the east. Harrison was pop culture's "exhibit A" in the evidence locker that pointed to the Apostle Paul's universal "groans" of Romans 8. We were, indeed, made for God.

Second, there was Harrison's recognition of the disjointed hypocrisy in the American church. Sure, Harrison was looking for something more than his experience of the Catholicism of his youth. But his assessment holds true today. When he was in Bombay he said that "the difference over here is that their religion is every second and every minute of their lives." We don't only yearn for God. The relationship we yearn for with God is a fully integrated relationship that touches every nook and cranny of life. Sadly, Harrison might even be more accurate in his comparison today.

Finally, Steve's article reminded me of the sad day when I heard that the Beatles had broken up. It was early in the morning and I was standing at the bus stop waiting for the school bus to pick me up for another monotonous day at Huntingdon Junior High School. 8th grade to be exact. I can still remember Steve King walking quickly to our stop from his house. He was about 100 feet away from us when he asked us, "Did you guys hear about the Beatles?" Then, he broke the news. It was appropriate that this talented young drummer in a band fronted by his older brother was the one to break the news. After all, these two guys were the first in our neighborhood to emulate the Beatles in their haircuts and dress. The news he broke broke us. Turns out, there was nothing at all monotonous about that day. Steve Rabey's article mentions the last song the band ever recorded: "I Me Mine," a critique of narcissism written by Harrison that continues to describe a growing condition in our culture today, over forty years later.

So. . . thanks to Steve Rabey for his statement, his article, and for allowing George Harrison to say things that challenge me in my Christian faith once again.

Kids, Condoms, and Crafting a Response. . . .

2011-10-21T08:22:00.004-04:00

Recently the CDC released another in what seems like a never-ending stream of reports on kids and their sexual activity. Perhaps you saw an article on the report's findings that was published last week. After reading the article in our local paper, I asked CPYU Associate Staffer Jason Soucinek for his response. Jason runs Project Six19 and is working closely with our Sexual Integrity Initiative here at CPYU. He'll be coming to Central Pennsylvania to lead a one-day training event - Life Up Close - How to Challenge Teens to Embrace Sexual Integrity - on Tuesday, November 8.

Here's what Jason had to say about the CDC's latest findings:

Last week, the CDC released a new study, Teenagers in the United States: Sexual Activity, Contraceptive Use, and Childbearing, 2006-2010 National Survey of Family Growth which gives conflicting data. There seems to be a continued increase in the number of teens that are choosing to not have sex. However, there continues to be an increase in number of teens that contract STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) each year.

Teens already bear the burden of 50% of all new cases of STDs. Yet they only comprise 25% of the total population. Notably, the study points out, girls ages 15-19, have the highest rates of Chlamydia, a common STD. This is troubling since this statistic overlaps the time frame when most teens receive sex education instruction.

What makes the rise in STDs even more surprising is that this report shows that condom use among teens has increased since 2002. If condom use is increasing among teens, but STD rates continue to rise, teens may be taking sexual risks because they have been taught that condoms offer adequate protection from the physical consequences related to teen sex.

We live in an age of paradox. These statistics dramatically demonstrate this. On one hand we are seeing the rise of condom use. Which we might think would cause a downturn in STD contraction. However, as this report clearly shows, that is not happening.

For years, sex education has focused on the condom as the cure all for all physical consequences. But over and over again that is proven false. Condoms can be an effective barrier in the contraction of an STD and preventing pregnancy, but it is not the most effective. There are three things worth noting about a condom and its effectiveness. First, in order for the condom to have any impact it has to be used. As you are probably aware teens are not the best at being prepared “in the moment”. The CDC states that in order for a condom to be effective it has to be used correctly and consistently, which means every single time they have sex. Any guess how often a teen uses a condom correctly and consistently? Some studies suggest that it is as low as 3% and no study goes higher than 63%. Even at the highest mark, which I doubt are that high, teens are still potentially exposing themselves to STDs and pregnancy 37% of the time.
Second, even when a condom is used correctly and consistently you can still transmit and contract an STD. Viruses like genital herpes and HPV can grow in areas not covered by a condom. And once you get one of these STDs they don’t go away. You can treat the symptoms but you will always have the virus.

Finally, a condom will never protect a teen from the emotional, social and spiritual consequences related to early sexual activity. This seems to be the one thing we forget when talking about sex. Yet these are the consequences that are sinking this generation. Higher depression rates, lower academic achievement, growing number of students suffering from anxiety, increased dropout rates and less self esteem have all been linked to early sexual activity. In fact, in the last 10-15 years, many colleges have had to double and triple their counseling staff to deal with some of these issues, like depression and anxiety. And one of the first questions they are trained to ask is, “Have you been sexually active?”

That is why speaking honestly about the choice to wait to have sex is a powerful tool in seeing fewer teens contract an STD. Empowering teens with the knowledge to abstain can be life changing. But the message must do more than just focus on the physical. It must break down the barrier of language, going beyond don’t to the why, and create a movement of teens that are better equipped to discern the many messages they hear in the media.

Abstinence is the safest and healthiest choice a teen can make for their future. Better grades, higher academic achievement, more money earned over a lifetime are some of the many benefits a teen and young adult can experience by choosing to wait for sex in a lifetime committed relationship. . . marriage. We just need to be willing to share this reality in a way that causes teens to listen.

That is why Project Six19 is proud to partner with CPYU in the sexual integrity initiative. On November 8 we will be presenting our Life Up Close curriculum. This school-based curriculum has been developed as a resource for youth workers, parents, church leaders and educators. During this one-day seminar we will discuss the social science surrounding early sexual activity, the need for media literacy, and our responsibility to talk about starting over while encouraging those that have chosen to wait to continue in their journey are some of the many topics that will be covered. Please consider joining us!

If you'd like to join us on November 8, you can get more info and register here.

Alice Cooper, Britney Spears, NPR. . . . Seriously?

2011-10-19T14:41:00.004-04:00

My past came back to haunt me last night. . . almost literally. Big Tom Piotrowski (if you've been around CPYU for a few years you remember my 7-foot-tall former NBA-playing friend) texted me to ask if I had ever heard the Alice Cooper interview on NPR. Nope. . . can't say that I have. Nor can I say that I would even have imagined Terry Gross sitting down with the shock rocker from my own adolescent past. Tom's suggestion along with the weird combination (think my Grandma's Peanut Butter and Onion sandwiches) got me interested enough to tune in immediately. Big Tom was right. It was worth it.

The character known as Alice Cooper (real name Vincent Furnier)was hitting it big with his shock rock antics and first mega-hit single "School's Out" way back in 1972 at just about the same time I was walking away from my last day of 10th grade. His career was propelled into the realm of success thanks to the famous "chicken incident." You can learn more about Cooper, the chicken incident, and his shtick by listening to the interview.

What struck me most about what I heard was the story of how he created his character and the Alice Cooper shtick. In hindsight, Cooper's explanation makes full sense. But I was one of the people he refers to who just didn't get it. I was a kid who was drawn to his antics out of curiosity. After all, he was the first person to pull this kind of thing off. As he says in the interview, his "band drove a stake through the heart of the love generation." I'm not sure any of my friends and peers were getting it at the time either. Instead, this new kind of counter-cultural presence was a way for kids to spit on accepted values and conventions, including the Christian faith. Today, we all know that Cooper is a professing Christian. Adamant about his faith in fact. If you listen to the interview, you'll hear him say that Marilyn Manson took it way too far with the evil anti-God stuff. But back in the day I'm not sure Christians could have said anything but the same thing when it came to Cooper. Bottom line. . . when it was all happening, it seemed like he was serious. Consequently, I'm sure he did have some influence on people of my generation. . . and I recognize that his influence was much greater on some rather than others. Even today I continue to struggle with what seems to me to be a disconnect between Cooper's profession of faith and performance.

I don't think that it's coincidental that just before listening to the Cooper interview, my television told me about Britney Spears' envelope-stretching new video that's scheduled to break in a few days. Even today's New York Daily News reports that it's over-the-top: "Britney Spears' new music video for "Criminal" is guilty of being really racy. In it, she and real-life boyfriend Jason Trawick strip down to nothing and steam up the screen in bed and in a shower."

I know this stuff leaves a deep visual and lyrical impression on kids - it's life-shaping for young listeners. I watch and wonder how this mixes with the persona and message of the teenage girl Spears once was. . . a girl who was open about her Christian faith and background. I wonder if thirty years from now she'll be on NPR with Terry Gross, telling the world that it was all just an act.

The point here is that when we follow Jesus we are to follow with integrated and complete lives. I'm struggling to understand obviously divided selves that are going here, there, and everywhere. In the case of Cooper, I can now understand what he's saying and what he's doing. Still, I'm struggling to justify the connect between his faith and his art. In Spears' case, the disconnect is huge. In both cases, I'm convinced that if by chance it's all an act, the children of their respective times are doing more following of the act, than critique. If it's an act, they aren't getting it.

This all reminded me today of something I read over the weekend in Richard Mouw's great little book on Abraham Kuyper. Mouw quoted James Hutton MacKay - a turn-of-the-20th-century Scottish pastor who spent time ministering in Kuyper's native Holland. MacKay said this of Kuyper and the mental habits of the Dutch: "they like to see things clearly, and to see them as they are - at least as they seem to be men of sound understanding. 'We are people of dykes and dams,' a Dutch writer said recently, 'both as to our land and our mental life.' And Dr. Kuyper's often-quoted saying about the danger of 'blurring the boundary lines' is characteristically Dutch. . . . Much, I believe, can be learned from a people who have a remarkable gift of making distinctions, wrought into their nature, possibly, by many centuries of unrelaxing toil in making and holding that distinction between land and sea, which to them is a matter of life and death."

This is what our kids will be watching in a few days. I wonder if they'll be able to think Christianly enough to distinguish between land and sea?

Brandon Marshall's Challenge To The Church. . . .

2011-10-18T07:57:00.008-04:00

Yep. . . sports can serve to teach us valuable lessons about life. That connect was made for me again yesterday when I happened to catch a sports radio broadcast of Travis Rodgers interviewing former Miami Dolphins' wide receiver Mark Clayton. Right out of the gate, Rodgers asked Clayton about the remarks current Dolphins' wide receiver Brandon Marshall had made in the days leading up to last night's showdown with the Jets. Marshall had said that he was going to play like a maniac. . . so maniacal in fact, that he was going to get himself thrown out of the game by the second quarter. Clayton pointed out that it was "the most idiotic thing I ever heard." Seems Marshall is dropping lots of passes, performing horribly, and just not getting the job done on the field. Still, he continues to talk, talk, and talk some more.

A little further on in the interview, Rodgers asked Clayton what he would say to Brandon Marshall if they were playing on the same team. Clayton was blunt. He would tell Marshall that we can do without the antics and "do your talkin' on the field."

I love that line. . . "do your talkin' on the field." Clayton's words reminded me of a couple of related needs we have in the church. There are times to speak and times to remain humbly quiet. The time to remain humbly quiet is when we are tempted to toot our own horns. The time to speak is when we humbly speak for the One we follow. The way we speak should be more non-verbal than verbal as we live our lives to His glory.

This was fresh on my mind yesterday as I had been following a series of linked blogs and posts from followers of Jesus. What struck me was the subtle and not-so-subtle boasting and self-promotion I was seeing in profiles and posts. I wonder if we don't even notice that we're doing this anymore. Our world is so totally self-absorbed that a little bit of self-absorption might seem relatively innocent. I realized that since we live in a world where it's easy to construct ourselves and created nuanced online personas - being anything and anyone we want - we need our flesh-and-blood real life relations to step up and say, "that's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard" when who we really are isn't what we present ourselves as. That's why we all need accountability. . . especially spouses who are willing to step up and say what we need to hear when arrogant self-absorption runs wild and we start to believe our own slanted press. This is especially true for those of us who live and move both online and in the world of youth ministry and ministry in general. Do we realize that if we have to tell others about our accomplishments, then chances are they wouldn't have noticed them otherwise? And if they wouldn't have noticed them otherwise, then maybe those accomplishments are more figments of our wishful imagination than they are real accomplishments?

As I follow Jesus in today's world, the world can do without my antics. I need to do my talkin' on the field. To my younger friends I would pass on this little bit of advice that I need to be reminded of all the time: Know your calling. Pursue it with a passion, with excellence, and with humility to the glory of God and God alone. Keep your mouth shut about any accomplishments or attention the Lord might grant. . . and keep your mind and body moving with passion, excellence, and humility.

How Do You "Look?" . . . .

2011-10-17T10:00:00.003-04:00

"Worldview" . . . that's a word I used to have to define when I'd talk about it with youth workers and parents 15 years ago. I was finding that it was a relatively new and unfamiliar concept, term, and matter of discussion in the church at that time. Now, it's something familiar to us all thanks to good discussions about "Worldview." But I wonder if we need to rethink and maybe redefine the meaning we've given to the concept, term, and word.

I got to thinking about this over the weekend as I read Richard Mouw's amazing little book about one of my heroes of the faith, Abraham Kuyper. Ever hear of Kuyper? If not, he's someone you need to meet. I first heard about Mouw's book Abraham Kuyper: A Short and Personal Introduction - from Byron Borger, proprieter of the world's greatest book store, Hearts & Minds. (If you'd like to buy the book, it would be great if you would do so from Byron!).

I love Mouw's chapter on Kuyper and "World-Viewing" so much that I thought I'd pass on a little bit here. Mouw reminds readers that Kuyper's understanding and development of the concept of Worldview is all about how we, as Christians, are called to see things in new ways. We need to care about what God cares about, to rejoice in what makes God's heart glad, and to grieve about what saddens him. It's all about discernment. We need to learn how to do that ourselves and then we need to teach our kids how to do the same.

What I find especially helpful in Mouw's chapter on Worldview is how we say we have to "have" a Christian worldview. Mouw says we need to go beyond that understanding. We tend to talk and live like a worldview is something we possess rather than something we engage in and do. It's a subtle yet significant distinction. . . and it's a good one! Mouw says that instead of thinking about "having a worldview" we should be about the business of "engaging in worldviewing." Mouw writes, "It is something we do on a journey. . . . being a Christian worldviewer means allowing the Bible to shed light on the paths we walk."

Our task is clear. . . we are called to walk the path of life under the illumination of God's Word, shining the light of God's Word on every old and new reality we encounter along the way. I'm indebted to Abraham Kuyper for the concept of worldview. I'm indebted to Richard Mouw for a deeper understanding of world-viewing.

Using Social Media in Youth Ministry. . . Some Guidelines. . .

2011-10-13T18:53:00.006-04:00

Yesterday I promised to follow-up some personal social media use guidelines for youth workers with some parameters for use of social media and technology in youth ministry. Here's the deal. . . in our Digital Kids Initiative we are not looking at real specific strategies. In other words, our goal is not to provide alot of "how-to's." There are plenty of other people out there who can help you with that. In fact, we hope to set up a special spot on our Digital Kids Initiative Page where youth workers can share their great ideas with each other. What I want to do is provide some general guidelines and parameters that will help us use and address social media in God-honoring and redemptive ways, rather than in ways that are counter-productive (even when we may not know it) to the advance of God's Kingdom.

Here are five general practical ideas, guidelines and parameters. . .

1. Use technology and social media to enhance, not replace, real-world ministry and community. One of the very real dangers of all these emerging technologies and tools is that we will begin to employ and rely on them so much that our face-to-face ministry and relationships wane. . . even if only a little bit. Kids in today's culture all need more face-to-face and real-world relationship time. Physical presence is necessary for spiritual nurture. Technology and social media should serve to extend our real-world flesh and blood relationships with students. In addition, don't buy the lie that digital community is real community. Real community is lived out in close physical proximity with down and dirty vulnerability. Remember. . . technology can extend and enhance this kind of community, but it can never replace it. Doing life together virtually really isn't doing life together.

2. Use technology and social media to connect and communicate. Perhaps you've heard me say that in youth ministry eras past, the best way to get into the heart and soul of a student was to get into their bedroom and take a look at the walls. Not a very smart strategy these days. Yep, it's a different world. But the bedroom wall has extended in today's world onto the walls, photos, comments, links, profiles, and postings that fill their Facebook pages. Facebook offers a connection to who they are. Go there to learn more about their hopes, dreams, desires, struggles, and needs. And if what you find on their Facebook pages doesn't line up with what you know of them in the context of real community, well. . . then you've gained a deeper sense of who they are and how you can minister to them because they've just revealed their disconnected identities and selves. Social media also allows you to communicate with your group during the week. Use it to extend your reach by promoting events, sharing Scriptures, posting thoughts, and putting up thought-provoking quotes.

3. Use technology and social media to equip and inform parents. Social media must be employed to communicate and stay in touch with parents. If you're wondering what to pass on to parents on a regular basis. . . well. . . just check out our CPYU website for a treasure-chest of stuff to pass on. Provide them with links to news, articles, and reviews. Send them an article a week. Connect them to our daily Youth Culture Today radio show. Or, subscribe to our weekly Youth Culture e-Update and forward it on to your ministry parents. Parents love youth workers who keep them informed.

4. Teach kids to use technology and social media redemptively. This is discipleship, plain and simple. Warn them about how easy digital media can suck them in and become idolatrous. Teach them about the many dangers that lurk on the Digital Frontier. . . things like sexting, dumbing down, information overload, pornography, over-sharing, etc. We'll be talking more and more about more and more of these dangers in the coming weeks and months. Introduce our Digital Code of Conduct to parents and their kids. It's a tool that offers clear parameters to discuss and follow. In addition, walk them through the Scriptures, teaching them about what the following issues and topics have to say toabout how they live on the Digital Frontier: truth, authority, humility, spiritual maturity, wisdom, respect, creating culture, honesty, sexuality, integrity, discernment, self-control, etc. Be sure to discuss these topics in your one-on-one conversations and in your times with your youth group.

5. Help your students establish media parameters by establishing media parameters in your ministry. An 8th grade teacher who's been teaching for 16 years told me this about the effect of social media and technology on kids: "We've lost the art of written and spoken language, solving problems regarding differences in personalities, resolving conflict, and maintaining real, loyal, accountable relationships." That's not the kind of world we want to create or live in. Since they are increasingly tethered and almost always "on," your youth ministry needs to be a place where there are times where they turn it all off and put it aside. Teach them how to be close to others in physical proximity by honoring them and turning off your phone, your computer, and your tablet and then focus on those who are present. Establish and encourage them to practice a media sabbath - one day a week when they turn it off and put it aside. Give them opportunity and space to be silent (Remember those youth group "solos" that were so meaningful for so many of us?). Promote deep reading, contemplation, and quiet times to sit and mediate on God's Word. . . listening to hear Him speak. Or how about this. . . a 40-hour technology famine to raise money for a cause?

Any other parameters/ideas floating around out there?

Youthworkers and Social Media. . . Some Guidelines. . .

2011-10-13T08:39:00.005-04:00

So we were asked a great question by our friend Kevin Vinay, a youth worker here in Pennsylvania. Kevin realizes that social media is here and here to stay. Knowing full well that anything in life can be abused or used correctly, he's struggling through the best ways to employ things like Facebook and Twitter in his life and ministry. Great question Kevin. . . and I hope that your struggle is shared by others. If not, trouble is ahead. Struggling through these issues is an important first step to the thoughtful reflection needed as a precursor to responsible use.

The way that I would answer your question has really been taking shape for me as I've been working on our Digital Kids Initiative here at CPYU. The seminars I've written and that I'm starting to present to youth workers and parents include what I trust is a balanced Christian response to life on the Digital Frontier, along with some helpful guidelines.

Before passing on some guidelines, let me give you a couple of realities to consider as you think about how you are going to use social media. The first is that you have a great responsibility to follow Jesus as you live on the Digital Frontier. In other words, you've got to realize that integrating your faith into your own choices is not an option. It's essential. Secondly, as someone charged to minister to kids, you need to train them to do the same. It's not just about seeing kids "get saved." It's teaching them how to be followers of Jesus in every area of life. For example, you want to train them in Godly use of text-messaging, Facebook, etc. Which leads to the third reality: how you choose to use this stuff is what speaks loudest to them about how they should use this stuff.

So. . . what about some guidelines? I'll save the ministry-use guidelines for tomorrow. For today, let me pass on some personal guidelines youth workers should embrace.

1. Realize that you are a broken person. As a result of our sinful natures, we're prone to using this stuff in the wrong way. We're not immune to sin, error, misjudgment, and habitual misuse of social media. In fact, I've found it helpful to constantly remind myself that I'm just one bad decision away from being a headline, from losing my job, from having to pay the consequences of poor judgment. That keeps me on my toes. Always endeavor to know God's will, and then seek to do the right thing.

2.Limit your tech/online/social media time. Were plugged in way too much. We're increasingly tethered. At the National Youth Workers convention a couple of weeks ago it seemed like everyone was walking around with their faces buried in their handhelds. I did it myself. Here's a great way to figure out if you're spending too much time with this stuff: ask your spouse, "Do I have a problem?"

3. Seek accountability. It's good to have friends who check in on you, tell you if you need to slow it down a little, and who can help you set and hold to parameters. Also, make sure your spouse or a trusted friend has all your passwords.

4. Realize that the whole world is watching. Anything you put out there is there for anyone and everyone to see . . . forever! You are creating a digital footprint.

5. Stop and think before posting, replying, sending, commenting. Proverbs 29:20 asks, "Do you see a man who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool than him." Proverbs 10:19 reminds us, "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." Before you post. . . or tweet. . . or whatever . . . ask yourself these questions: Does this matter? Is this useful to others? Does this promote and reflect Kingdom of God living? Does this promote reflect service to the kingdoms of the world, the flesh, and the devil? Does this glorify God? Or, does this glorify me? Come on. . . why am I doing this. . . really???? Take, for example, our growing obsession with Twitter. Your students - or anyone else for that matter! - don't need to know where you are and what you're doing. What they need to know is who you are because who you are is what models life for them. If you are someone obsessed with tweeting where you are and what you're doing, then who you are at its possible worst is a self-centered narcissist, and what you are modeling (perhaps unintentionally) at its very least is self-centered narcissism. . and is that really what we want to model for our kids?

6. Be yourself. The online world is a place where we can so easily present ourselves as we most want to be seen. The Internet lets us "photoshop" our personalities and identities. Just be yourself. . . vulnerable. . . real . . . authentic.

7. Realize that you are not a brand. Don't market and promote yourself as if you are.

8. Don't put your spouse and kids out there. I was a ministry kid. I have ministry kids. Don't assume that they'll like or embrace the limelight or that the limelight is good for them. There are folks in the youth ministry world who are forcing their families into the public spotlight ala my former neighbors, Jon and Kate. Let's be discerning, fair, and mature. We are posting too many pictures, videos, etc. and I always wonder "why?" The fallout won't be good. When they get older, we can ask their permission and include them if they'd like. But when they are young. . . don't force that on them.

9. Don't post or communicate anything you wouldn't be willing to say from the front of the church.

10. Watch your private one-on-one communication with members of the opposite sex. This includes your interactions with students, your leaders, and parents. One-time communication is fine, but extended and ongoing conversations. . . avoid them. It's like being alone with someone you shouldn't be alone with. I've seen and heard far too many stories about innocent communication that slowly (or quickly) turns into an emotional or physical affair.

11. Pursue digital maturity that reflects deep spiritual maturity.

12. Turn it off on a regular basis. Shut it down. Use the time to focus on others. Use the time to think deeply without distraction. Use the time to live deeply without having to be tethered.

Tomorrow. . . some guidelines on how to use this stuff "redemptively" in youth ministry.

And Kevin. . . for prompting today's post we're going to send you a copy of Tim Challies' great book on faith and technology, The Next Story.

Anyone else have any helpful guidelines to share? The person who posts what we judge to be the most helpful guideline will get a free copy of The Next Story as well!

Trending. . . Pornography. . .

2011-10-11T08:31:00.005-04:00

One reality that keeps rearing it's ugly head as I complete research for our Digital Kids Initiative is the pervasive presence of pornography in today's world. It's a growing issue for men, women, and children. Way back in 1996, the U.S. Department of Justice issued this statement: "Never before in the history of telecommunications media in the United States has so much indecent (and obscene) material been so easily accessible by so many minors in so many American homes with so few restrictions." That was 15 years ago. The Internet has grown. Access to computers has increased. And sadly, the online pornography industry has either kept or set the pace.

Statistics are hard to nail down. What we did know back in 2006 was this. . . every second there were 30,000 Internet users viewing pornography. Seems a bit low. There were 4.2 million pornographic websites, or 12% of all Internet content was pornographic. Again, sounds low. And every day, there were 68 million search engine requests for some type of pornography. Probably a bit low compared to what will happen today. Experts say that pornography addiction is driven by three factors: it is accessible, it is anonymous, and it is affordable. Sadly, the average age of first exposure to pornography is 11. I'm guessing that as the years advance, that number will go down.

A youth worker friend recently told me that he no longer looks at his middle school boys and asks them if they are struggling with pornography. Rather, he looks at them and tells them that he KNOWS they are struggling with pornography. Never has a kid challenged his assumption.

As I've continued on in my work in the area of youth culture and digital kids, I'm increasingly convinced that 1) this problem is only increasing, and 2) we need to be aggressive and proactive in shaping responses that are prophetic, preventive, and redemptive. The immediate and long-term fallout is going to be beyond anything we can dream or imagine.

If you are a youth worker, parent, pastor, teacher. . . or just someone who realizes how vulnerable both you and the kids you know are to this stuff, let me point you to three of the best resources I know. Consider this a starting point. . .

First, I want to encourage you to visit, bookmark, and favorite the website for HarvestUSA. Please check out the HarvestUSA website now. There are some great resources for you to access, use, and pass on.

Second, I want to recommend with urgency that you pick up a copy of Tim Chester's book, Closing the Window: Steps to Living Porn Free. We are so excited about this book that it is our featured resource this month at CPYU. If you choose to secure your copy through us, you will be supporting our ministry.

And third, I want to invite any of you who live in our Central PA neighborhood to join us on November 8 for a one-day training seminar for youth workers, pastors, parents, and pregnancy center workers: "Life Up Close - How To Challenge Teens to Embrace Sexual Integrity." During the day, Jason Soucinek will train you in how to talk to children and teens about sexuality. You can learn more and register here.

10 Days Without. . . .

2011-10-10T10:14:00.003-04:00

Daniel Day works for Axis, a ministry committed to moving students from apathy to action. Sounds like a mission we should all embrace. I love the mission, the concept, and what Daniel has chosen to do personally for the cause. Daniel has embarked on a journey of "doing without" for 10-day periods. So far, he's spent 10 days without shoes and 10 days without furniture. He's going to spend 10 days without legs. Right now, he's in the middle of spending 10 days without media. I learned about his unique mission because he's highlighting what we do here at CPYU in regards to media as he does without. I love it.

I want to encourage you to do a couple of things in response to Daniel and his journey. First, I want to encourage you to follow him as he does without. He's got a blog going that you need to check out. Second, tell your students about what Daniel's up to and encourage them to not only follow him on his blog, but to consider doing without something that would be personally significant. Third, pray for the ministry of Axis and consider having them plug into your group at an event or weekend. To learn more, check out their video here. Finally, consider going out of your way to teach your kids to interact with media Christianly and biblically. We've got loads of resources here at CPYU to help you with that task.

Dear Gareth. . . Thoughts On Your Thoughts About My Thoughts On Steve Jobs. . .

2011-10-07T07:21:00.004-04:00

If there's one thing I realized yesterday after posting on the reaction to Steve Jobs' death, it's that Steve Jobs was a lot more important to people than I ever knew or imagined. This morning Gareth commented on my blog post about Jobs. You can read Gareth's comment in the comment section beneath yesterday's blog. I very much appreciate Gareth and his comment and thought that it deserved more than a passing nod or short response from me in the comment section. So, here goes. . . some thoughts for Gareth. . .

Dear Gareth,

Thanks so much for your response to my blog post about our collective reaction to Steve Jobs' death. Thanks for admitting you found it annoying. I'm used to that actually! No problem. Regarding offending me. . . you didn't. I appreciate not only your honesty and candidness, but your willingness to speak up. I know you're new to my blog and most likely to the ministry I'm involved with at CPYU. I would encourage you to dig deep into the blog and our website to get a feel for who we are and what we do. I hope you'll find that our work is thoughtful and biblically faithful. In a nutshell, we want to know the times. It's always my hope that as Christians we are thinking about things that need to be thought about in ways that we so often overlook.

Regarding the timing of my post. . . I would disagree. My post was prompted by the collective response I was seeing to Jobs' death. I agree. . . he was an amazingly creative guy who has given us many great tools. Frankly, he imaged God through his creativity. . . something we must celebrate. You can't read the first three chapters of Genesis today without thinking of the image of God as it burst forth in Jobs' incredible abilities. Still, my point in the blog is that we might be a bit imbalanced in who and what we value in the church. Please read the blog again. The time to respond to that imbalance is when you see it rather than down the road.

These matters are fresh in my mind as I've just completed about 5 months of concentrated research for our Digital Kids Initiative at CPYU. . . an effort on our part to think Christianly about technology. You and I would agree that technology can be used in a variety of ways - for good or for bad. Last weekend I presented my first Digital Kids seminar at the National Youth Workers Convention and I wish you would have been there to hear first-hand how I'm processing and thinking about these things. I mentioned Albert Wolter's book Creation Regained and his whole notion of structure and direction. Wolters has done a great job of unpacking what you and I both know to be true. . . that we can use things like the structure of technology in a direction that brings honor and glory to the Kingdom of God, and in a way that can bring honor and glory to the Kingdom of the world, the flesh, and the devil. As leaders of kids, we need to know this reality exists, and then endeavor to move it all in the right direction. You cite leading worship and your use of technology. Nothing wrong with that at all. But we do need to avoid our tendency to integrate technology without first thinking about how our use of technology will shape and influence kids. For example, I think it's possible to use technology in worship in such a way that we actually discourage worship of God, while encouraging and fostering worship of worship and worship of the technological tools. I often ask youth workers this question: "If the power grid went down, would your students be able to worship?" In the end, Jobs' tools have been used to bring people closer to Jesus. But is it possible, probable, or even a fact that his tools have pushed people away from Jesus as well? Yes, that's happening all around us, which makes the desire you and I share to use these tools to the glory of God and for the expansion of His will and way a task that we must embark on thoughtfully and consciously. Make sense? You've mentioned some of those ways and there are lots more. But we still need to be careful.

In my seminar I also spoke about the concept of "media ecology" (Neil Postman) and Marshall McCluhan's great work on how media works us over without us even knowing it. History shows that both those guys were dead-on in these matters. For Postman, the introduction of the cell phone changes everything in the landscape in some way. . . even if it's subtle and difficult to see. Think about how the handheld device has both enhanced your ability to be in touch with your students 24/7. But think as well about how those same handheld devices have interrupted family communication in the home as kids are tethered to their friends, physically present with their parents, yet relationally cut off from parents in the midst of that physical presence. Make sense? And that's just the tip of the iceberg! Here's another thought. . . have you been in youth ministry long enough to see the growing inability of kids to sit comfortably in silence to listen to God?

Gareth. . . again, I want to commend you for thinking about these things. Can I challenge you to go a step further and think with me some more? If so, here's the challenge.

First, I want to ask you to read a wonderful book that's been very helpful to me in these matters. Tim Challies has written The Next Story and I would like to give you a copy. . . a brand new copy in fact. The only catch is this. I would simply ask you to give it a read and then engage in some conversation with me about the book. Deal? Get me your email address and we can arrange for me to get the book to you right away.

Second, I want to ask you to give another blog post that a friend just pointed me to this morning a look. It's a post from James Emery White about Jobs' influence and death. I learned some things about Jobs' that I didn't know before. It's a thoughtful post that models deep Christian analysis of culture. White's post is titled "A Most Curious Hero." This blog post will shake up anyone who reads it.

Finally, if you happen to be in Atlanta next month for the next National Youth Workers Convention, I would encourage to come to my Digital Kids seminar where I'll be unpacking this stuff a little more deeply than I can here.

Gareth, thanks again for your comment. No offense taken and it's fine for you to be annoyed. In fact, it was being a bit annoyed along with being deeply concerned that prompted my blog response to the reaction to Jobs' death.

Blessing and thanks,

Walt

Thoughts On Steve Jobs And Our Reaction To His Death. . . .

2011-10-06T08:40:00.003-04:00

Last night while watching my beloved Phillies fizzle out, the Twitter-verse was going crazy with word that Steve Jobs had died. So massive and fast was the spreading of the news, that I wouldn't have been surprised if my Blackberry had blown up right there in my hand. I couldn't help but think about how much the world has changed in terms of information available, information shared, and information speed thanks to visionary and extremely gifted folks like Steve Jobs. In years past, news like this wasn't available until the next morning if - in fact - the AP or UPI had chosen to pick it up. What's normal speed to our young digital natives is still astounding to guys like me if we stop, remember, and think about it.

Any time someone we know or are familiar with dies, there is a gnawing inside of us. We somehow know that this is wrong, sad, and not the way it's supposed to be. Even the widespread tweets and Facebook posts that stated simply, R.I.P. Steve Jobs, point to our yearning for the universal flourishing void of disease and death that once existed and was known as "Shalom" . . . which is the peace so many want Steve Jobs to rest in. I'm not a Mac guy nor do I own an iPhone or iPod. My computer is a PC. My handheld is a Blackberry. My mp3 player is a seven-year-old Creative Zen. They all work fine for me and I've worked hard to not get sucked into the vortex of technology that leaves me desiring the latest and greatest in ways that waste my time and money. I know that's left me fairly "uncool" in some people's eyes, which I think says more about our culture than it does about me. Still, I don't think I'd be able to do what I'm doing in the way that I'm doing it if it hadn't been for the vision, creativity, and work of guys like Steve Jobs. That said, the outpouring in reaction to his death had me tossing and turning a bit overnight.

Most of the reaction I was following came from the world of youth ministry. That's where I've lived for the last 30-some years. Naturally, the tweets I saw came from all over the youth ministry world. I was seriously blown away by how widespread the response was. I saw it on Facebook too. I can't ever remember a more immediate and widespread response to the death of anyone. Granted, if all this stuff had existed when Mike Yaconelli died several years ago, I wouldn't have heard about it several hours after the fact through a phone call from my friends at Youth Specialties. This left me pondering not so much what Steve Jobs meant to people in my youth ministry world, but how much we've come to love and depend on the technology guys like Jobs created. Several weeks ago the church lost John Stott - a great theologian who has done more to directly and indirectly shape the faith of our youth ministry world than maybe any other theologian of the last 50 years. Judging from the traffic - or lack thereof - on Twitter and Facebook, Stott's passing was a small blip. . . especially when compared to the passing of Jobs. So I'm asking and wondering. . . do our reactions to both indicate what's more important to us in the church. . . technology/tools or the content of our message?

Some words from Marshall McCluhan are fresh on my mind as I've been looking at his 50 year-old "prophecies" on media and technology and what they do to us without us even knowing it. Consider these quotes from McCluhan that I shared with youth workers in San Diego last weekend in my Digital Kids seminar:

“Societies have been shaped more by the nature of the media by which men communicate than by the content of the communication.”

“All media work us over completely. They are so pervasive in their personal, political, economic, aesthetic, psychological, moral, ethical and social consequences that they leave no part of us untouched, unaffected, unaltered. The medium is the message.”

“We shape our tools and afterward our tools shape us.”

Steve Jobs' death is sad, very sad. But I'm wondering if there's something even more heartbreaking about our response to it and what it says about us. AP writer Pamela Simpson's piece this morning included these words: "Fans for whom the Apple brand became a near-religion grasped for comparisons to history's great innovators, as well as its celebrities, to honor the man they credit with putting 1,000 songs and the Internet in their pockets."

Have we been lulled into worshipping the tools and their makers? Thoughts?

Pop Music and Sex. . . The Science Says 92% . . .

2011-10-05T13:32:00.002-04:00

So here's an interesting story on an interesting study that counted and catalogued some interesting stuff. According to a study written up by Dawn R. Hobbs for Evolutionary Psychology, 92% of the 174 songs that made it into the Billboard Top 10 in 2009 contained "reproductive messages." I'm not surprised. I'm thinking about this today as I'm just a few minutes away from a phone call with a news reporter who wants to interview me about Lady Gaga and her influence on kids.

Should we be concerned? Sure. Remember, the great tasks of adolescence are identity formation and worldview construction. Both of those tasks result in life-long beliefs, commitments, and behaviors. This also has me thinking about our upcoming "Life Up Close" seminar that's designed to teach us how to present the "Do's" about sex rather than just the "Don'ts."

A few years ago I gave a little quiz to youth workers and parents during some youth culture seminars. I'd play a song and ask them if it was one they wanted their kids to hear. Most of the songs I played were more than familiar to kids at the time. Each one of these chart-toppers would have fallen in 2009's 92%. As expected, the response was overwhelmingly negative. But then I would always slip in a track called "Love Cocoon" from Bill Mallonee and the Vigilantes of Love. I'd ask for a response again. This time, about 50% of the hands went up in favor of basically banning the song. . . . something, by the way, which many Christian book stores decided to do when they kept the band's album off the shelves. The other 50% answered in the affirmative, saying they wanted their kids to hear the song's message. And so they should! It's said that Mallonee would often intro the song from stage by holding up his wedding-ring clad left-hand then saying, "This one's for anyone out there who has a license to do it." I'd tell people that in my seminars and a debate would ensue. I would often suggest that to be consistent, we should rip the Song of Solomon out of our Bibles or at the very least, ban the Bible from Christian book stores. Of course, that was all to make a point.

The point today? Singing about sexuality is not necessarily a bad thing as long as we're preparing kids for a lifetime of celebrating marital intimacy in all of its wonder and glory. So, maybe you'll want to play this little Vigilantes of Love song for your kids to let them know that there's something out there worth listening to that puts what the other 92% is singing about in its most wonderful context.

Love Cocoon by Vigilantes of Love

I Married The Wrong Person. . . .

2011-10-03T17:00:00.003-04:00

Earlier today I was finishing a run-through of the September issue of Christianity Today magazine when I ran across a little interview with Glenn Stanton on "The Science of Shacking Up." Stanton's the author of The Ring Makes All The Difference: The Hidden Consequences of Cohabitation and the Strong Benefits of Marriage, a book that focuses on the scientific evidence about the dangers and downfalls of cohabitation.

The last question interviewer Caryn Rivandeneira asks Stanton is this: "What would you say to a those who believe cohabitation can help people marry the 'right person'?" OK. . . now you've really got my attention as I hear this argument all the time. Stanton begins his answer with a great little quote from Christian ethicist Stanley Hauerwas of Duke University. That little quote is from an article Hauerwas penned in 1978 in which he refers to his own law. . . known now as Hauerwas's Law. . . which is this: "You always marry the wrong person." Stanton goes on to explain that Hauerwas's Law is so important to grasp and the sooner young couples can understand that, the better off they'll be. Young couples typically protest by asking, "You mean you don't want us to be soul mates?" Hauerwas knew that nobody marries their soul mate. Rather, you become soul mates as you live together and love each other over the course of your married life.

Here's Hauerwas's Law in its original context from that 1978 article: "Most of the literature that attempts to instruct us about getting along in marriage fails to face up to a fact so clearly true that I have dared to call it Hauerwas’s Law: You always marry the wrong person. It is as important to note, of course, as Herbert Richardson pointed out to me, that the reverse of the law is also true: namely, that you also always marry the right person. The point of the law is to suggest the inadequacy of the current assumption that the success or failure of a marriage can be determined by marrying the "right person." Even if you have married the "right person," there is no guarantee that he or she will remain such, for people have a disturbing tendency to change. Indeed, it seems that many so-called "happy marriages" are such because of the partners’ efforts to preserve "love" by preventing either from changing. This law is meant not only to challenge current romantic assumptions but to point out that marriage is a more basic reality than the interpersonal relations which may or may not characterize a particular marriage. Indeed, the demand that those in a marriage love one another requires that marriage have a basis other than the love itself. For it is only on such a basis that we can have any idea of how we should love."

So. . . even though I married the wrong person, I know that today I am married to the right person. . . a reality that will be even more true tomorrow.

His Lips Were Sealed. . . .

2011-09-30T10:37:00.003-04:00

Last week I caught the tail-end of a radio interview with Ralph Branca. If I had heard his name before, I didn't remember it. I do, however, know the name of Bobby Thomson. . . the man used his bat in 1951 to help the Giants win the pennant with the legendary home run known simply as "The Shot Heard Round the World." Branca has the notorious distinction of being "the goat" who served up the pitch Thomson hit. If you haven't seen the amazing footage of the moment, you can watch it here. . . and see where it's rated in terms of amazing baseball plays. It's at #1.

For 50 years - since that day in October 1951 - nobody knew what was really going on. Thanks to a Wall Street Journal reporter named Joshua Harris Prager, the truth about the hit and the Giants amazing comeback to win the pennant was finally revealed in 2001. It seems that about halfway through the season, the Giants had developed an elaborate scheme for stealing signs that not only turned their season around, but elevated stats for many of the players on the team, including Bobby Thomson. When they were playing at home, the Giants employed a high-powered pair of military binoculars hidden behind a window in a darkened room in the team's center field clubhouse. After seeing the catcher's sign, an elaborate series of wires and buzzers sent info to both the Giants' bullpen and dugout. From the bullpen, a towel was used to signal the batter. From the dugout, players yelled code words to the batter to let him known what pitch was coming. If the batter missed one signal, he could rely on the other. When the Giant's were playing away, the team found ways to employ the system from the outfield bleachers. It turned their season around. Bobby Thomson knew a fastball was coming. In that game as in so many other Giants' games that year, the team cheated.

Three years after serving up the pitch that ended the dreams of so many Brooklyn Dodger fans, Branca was told the truth. It was verified several times both immediately and over the years. Branca's friends and family encouraged him to blow the lid off the story, but he refused. He didn't want to be a cry-baby or sore loser. So, he remained dignified in his silence. Then, Harris broke the story and Branca was free to talk.

Yesterday I read Branca's brand new book about that day - A Moment in Time: An American Story of Baseball, Heartbreak, and Grace. The book was stirring, challenging, and thought-provoking in some amazing ways. There's something deeply Godly about maintaining your integrity, showing grace, and keeping your lips sealed when speaking up would only serve to clear your name and reputation. We know that the Lord has said, "Vengeance is mine."

At the end of his book, Branca says that he has yet to forgive those who conjured up the scheme, but he's working on it. Ralph Branca is now 85-years-old. His story is one we need to hear and tell.

The Twitter Movie. . . Well, Sort Of. . . .

2011-09-29T08:26:00.002-04:00

This ongoing journey to evaluate culture through eyes of integrity and faith sure does take some interesting twists and turns. When people exercise their fallen creativity new thingss pop up every day. . some that make you laugh and some that make you cry. Recently I've been focusing in on all things digital and technological, wondering out loud how those things effect us and our kids. I've been reminded of Marshall McCluhan's prophetic words. . . "the media is the message" . . . and his brilliant analysis of how media work us over completely. . . a reality we usually don't spot until we're totally sold out to the stuff that's working us over completely. So I love it when there's cynicism, sarcasm, and satire that takes on this stuff we're so willing to casually ignore and overlook.

Which leads me to this. . . . something I discovered on the Internet as I was working through the all-too-obvious and not-so-obvious ways that Twitter works us over completely while indulging our tendency for idolizing ourselves and inviting others to join us in worship. Make sense?

Give this little trailer a look and then see if you get it. Then, consider how Twitter may have also "gotten" you.

Making Myself Up. . . Again. . . .

2011-09-27T05:01:00.002-04:00

Back in the 1980's I had to intervene in a bizarre situation involving one of our youth group kids. I caught wind of the fact that this tender young middle school girl was telling kids at school that she had just signed a major modeling contract. It was a lie. A perfect storm of cultural forces had combined with developmental vulnerabilities and some difficult personal circumstances in a mix that left her desperate for attention and validation. I guess that in her mind desperate times called for desperate measures. A couple of gullible people believed her. Most saw right through her attempts at deception, leaving her in a worse situation than the one she had been in when her fantasy world took root and started to grow. It was a mess.

In Samantha's case, the damage was limited to her face-to-face friendships and those in her wider school circle who had entertained news of her ruse with passing curiosity. Most of them laughed it off and wound up thinking less of her than they had before. Thankfully, a group of us were able to intervene and help her turn it all around, starting with helping her understand that she needed to embrace the reality of who she was in Christ. If Samantha had been living in today's world, I'm afraid she would have been able to dig herself in so deep that major fallout would have occurred, perhaps even with consequences that would have gone unchecked for the rest of her life.

In about 48 hours I will have finished the first leg of what's been my part in an exciting new journey here at CPYU that we're calling The Digital Kids Initiative. My goal has been to understand and process the good, the bad, and the ugly of life on the Digital Frontier in terms of how it effects kids and culture. . . all through the framework of a biblical world and life view. Some suspicions have been confirmed. Some have been challenged. And my eyes have been opened to some stuff that I never really knew was happening.

One of the most alarming realities of life on the Digital Frontier is the ability I have to make and re-make myself. . . over and over again. The Internet lets me fabricate and "customize" myself to meet my needs. Face it. . . we all like to be liked. Facebook knows that. That's why the "like" button plays such a prominent role on the social networking site. The desire to be liked peaks in adolescence. Sadly, today's adult world is so filled with dissatisfied selves that the peak doesn't necessarily drop off. Rather, it levels out. So, kids and adults alike use the Internet to dull our dissatisfaction with ourselves as we try on multiple selves, reinvent ourselves, and make ourselves up. Like Tammy Faye Baker, we put on so much makeup that the person the world sees is not us. Reality is, if we'd shed the makeup we've applied, the world wouldn't know who we really are. . . but that's the whole point, isn't it?

Some research from the Girl Scouts found that 74% of girls agree that "most girls my age use social networking sites to make themselves look cooler than they are." Researchers found that girls downplay several positive characteristics of themselves online, including their intelligence and their efforts to be a good influence. That's what happens when culture sees vice as virtue. The research also found that girls with low self-esteem are more likely to say their online image doesn't match their in-person image. The Internet makes this all so easy thanks to the "disinhibition effect." You see, we're so much less inhibited online because we think people can't see what we're doing. But we really don't need research to convince us that this is happening all around us, do we? No, all we need to do is think about our kids. . . and ourselves.

I love what Quentin Schultze says about this: "The digital world suffocates virtue by allowing us unbridled freedom to be all things to all people. . . to give ourselves over to the highest bidder or to the most persuasive master." In effect, we see ourselves as brands to be developed, tweaked, marketed, and sold. . . or so we hope it sells. In the end, the temptation to adopt these patterns of living become almost overbearing as the Internet really does reward the most clever and aggressive marketers among us. People of integrity, truthfulness, character, and virtue get left in the dust. . . at least for now. In his book The Dumbest Generation, Mark Bauerlein says that "the screen becomes not a vein of truth, but a mirror of desire."

It all boils down to the fact that we are dissatisfied with who we are. We feel like we don't measure up. If we get to close to others, we're afraid our real selves will be exposed. Consequently, the real us keeps people at a distance greater than arm's length, while we invite others to embrace the avatar who's hijacked our profile picture.

I guess the real question is this: Should the Christian be spending so much time on image management and the marketing of one's self? And, shouldn't we be teaching our kids to avoid this pattern like the plague that it is? It's troubling. . . and we should know better.

But Will It Fit In My Coffin? . . . .

2011-09-26T07:41:00.005-04:00

Last week I was thumbing through a local ad paper when I spotted news on an auction that was happening at the end of the week. As I carefully read through the list of items to be sold, a small collection of antique cars caught my eye and my interest. I love old cars. Always have. So much so that whenever my birthday rolls around I remind my wife and kids of my favorite models and model year. It's almost a 100 percent joke on my part, as there's a fraction of one percent that would really like to wake up to a 1964 Corvette in the driveway. Red please. The closest I'll ever come, however, is to watch the Barrett-Jackson and Mecum auctions on TV. . . which I quite often do.

The local auction featured a 1967 Corvette, a 1957 Cadillac. . . baby blue and white. . . and a couple of other old cars. Since I had Saturday off last week, I decided to head down and check out the action. With the cars going last, I had a chance to socialize with some friends I hadn't seen in awhile and to watch some folks spend lots and lots of money on assorted stuff, furniture, land, and a house. The Corvette went for about $30,000. The Cadillac - which was a car I would have loved to take home to tinker with - went for about $24,000. That's why I don't own either of those cars or anything like them!

On my short drive home I got to thinking about my desire to own an old car and wondered what it would be like. I thought about the "why" behind my desire. I wonder if we collect things because they make us feel good. I know we're prone to accumulate all kinds of stuff (material goods, experiences, etc.) with the belief that somehow those things will fix us and fix what's wrong with our world. We believe that if we go to bed owning this or that tonight, somehow tomorrow will be so much better. Never happens though. Then I realized that all the cool stuff I saw auctioned off on Saturday had once belonged to somebody. That somebody had died and all that stuff remained. Now, that stuff's been auctioned off to a couple hundred people who someday will leave this earth without their stuff as well. I guess being an auctioneer is a pretty secure job.

The great irony of all this is that on Saturday I received a package in the mail from Zondervan. It was a new book by one of my favorite authors, Paul Tripp. This one's titled Forever: You Can't Live Without It. Excited about the book, I sat down and started reading. Paul's done a great job of reminding us that we need to live in light of eternity. Here on this earth is not all that we have. And when we live in light of eternity something happens to us in terms of our view of material stuff, our understanding of marriage and family, the way we approach parenting, and how we deal with suffering. It's so, so true. Understanding the reality of why we're here, what went wrong, how God has intervened to make things right, and the future that those who are in Christ face. . . well, it all makes so much sense. No, there's be nothing wrong with me having an old car. The problem would be rooted in what I would allow the car to become to me and what I think the car would do for me. If I somehow see a purchase - of anything! - as redemptive, life-giving, fulfilling, or salvific. . . well, I have worked to fill my empty heart with something that can never fill it, and I will only wind up more empty. As Paul says, all our dreams are "gas" that will only vaporize in our hands.

Lisa and I often ponder travel and experiences in this light as we banter back and forth about where we haven't been, what we haven't experienced, and where we'd like to go. Her frequent mentions of "someplace tropical" where the water is really blue have never been realized by us. Someday we'll get there. When we talk about it, we realize that the "someday" might be in this life, or it might be in the forever. What a joy to know that our years on this earth are not all that we have. The new Heaven and the new Earth are going to be amazing and beyond belief. I joke when I say that I'll be able to drive her to the beach and the blue water in my 1964 Vette. I'm guessing that once we're there, the amazing wonder of what is will immediately eclipse the greatest dreams our imaginations could ever conjure up. . . and those dreams just won't matter anymore.

We live in a world that believes that all there is to life is the here and now. That perspective kills us. I want to recommend Paul Tripp's Forever to you. Read it and be changed. And for those of you who work with kids, this is a book that offers the antidote to what ails so many of them.

PETA and Porn. . . Unbelievable! . . . .

2011-09-22T07:27:00.005-04:00

It was so ridiculous that I had to read the little story several times over. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals is looking for ways to effectively promote their message of animal rights and vegan eating. OK. . . I get that. Not a surprise at all. But it's how they're doing it that's both stunning and telling. PETA is going to launch a new website - peta.xxx - a pornographic site intended to raise awareness of the group and get a new/expanded audience exposed to their message. PETA reps say that whenever they use racy stuff, more people pay attention to the plight of animals. It seems that by drawing people to nudity, they'll be drawing people to understand animal rights. More proof that sex sells.

I first read this story yesterday morning. The day before I had spoken at Abilene Christian University on youth culture. In a session on the need for relationships, I had mentioned some specific ways that fallen expressions of sexuality have taken root and grown in our culture. . . destroying lives while at the same time delivering the empty promise to redeem and fulfill. I talked about body image issues, objectification, the sexualization of everything, and pornography. In my remarks about pornography I mentioned some of the fallout that we can expect as a young generation of kids - who have been exposed to and are seeking out this stuff in an online world filled with pornography of all types - come of age. I highlighted these main points:

-Greater exposure at younger and younger ages. That's right, kids will see more and more at younger and younger ages.
-The envelope stretched to extremes. What they see will be more and more extreme in terms of what is depicted and portrayed.
-Desensitization. In other words, the more they see, the more they'll need to see as tolerance builds. . . just like it does for a drug addict.
-Pornography as a matter of personal preference. That's just the way it is in a postmodern world. It's not a matter of ethical rights or wrongs. Rather, I can choose whatever I want to be right for me to be right for me.
-Normalization of depicted values and practices. In other words, the stuff I saw when I was in fourth grade will be the stuff I do when I'm in middle school, high school, college, or just later in life. The seeds being planted now will bear some pretty ugly fruit.

I guess the big question for me is this: How can an organization that is committed to protecting animals promote that message by harming humans. . . children even. . . and not see just how wrong that approach really is? Come on PETA. . . you've got the word "ethical" in your name. You should know better. And I wonder. . . will you be posting any pornography featuring bestiality? Or, would that be unethical?

The Scoop On Gaming. . . .

2011-09-20T08:13:00.005-04:00

There's a point near the beginning of my Download seminar (a look into the media world of today's teens) where I try to help parents and youth workers see just how much and how fast the media world has changed. I give a little "then and now" visual tour of the media landscape. . . the things we had then compared to the stuff they have now. You know. . . an old tethered/wired phone compared to a mobile phone. . . an old black and white TV console compared to a high-def 3D TV. . . a shot of the Pandora Internet radio platform compared to a transistor radio. It's a little bit of tongue-in-cheek tour designed to show just how much media technology has advanced. . . and is till advancing.

One little stop on my visual tour highlights the world of gaming. After showing a picture of a bank of high-def game platforms and hyper-focused kids, I mention that we had games too. I show a Twister spinner. That usually gets a little bit of laugh. Of course, that's how many of us older folks met our spouses, right?!? "Left hand blue, right foot green. . . . oh my. . . looks like we're now in a serious relationship!" Then I mention the fact that we too, had high-tech video games. . . and I show an actual working Pong screen. Another laugh.

Video games are on the national radar today as "Gears of War 3" hits retailers and will most likely set some new records. It's big stuff for the gaming community. While thinking about today's debut, I remembered a question a curious mother of a gamer asked me a few weeks ago: "Why is this such a big deal for my son?"

As part of our new Digital Kids Initiative here at CPYU, I looked long and hard at the world of video gaming and discovered there are some pretty compelling reasons for the attraction. To be honest, if I was a kid in today's world I would most likely be right there with the rest of them. Here's some of what I discovered. . .

-They are fun. . . and they are quality. What kid doesn't want to have fun? With so much pressure on kids to be and do certain things. . . and grow up way too fast. . . there's nothing wrong with seeking out and having some fun.

-They involve problem-solving. Kids need to exercise those developing brains so that they keep developing. Research says that 52% of teens report playing games where they have to think about moral and ethical issues. 43% report playing games where they have to make a decision about how a community, city, or nation should be run.

-They offer an escape. If life for today's children and teens wasn't difficult, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing with my life. It's gotten so difficult for many kids that they are looking for a diversion. . . anything. . . something to take their mind of a difficult existence. A chance to live in alternate realities allows them to temporarily forget their lives.

-They allow them to network and socialize with friends. . . locally and globally. This is the new playground for adolescents during a time when social connections take center stage.

-They offer connections with a community. With the family, church and other institutions failing our kids, the world of the online game gives them a place to belong with other like-minded kids. As your connections grow, you wind up being missed if you aren't there.

-They offer a place to succeed. The gaming world is a place where improved skills give you chance to achieve, be a winner, advance up the ranks, and experience success. Not only that, your accomplishments can bring affirmation in the community.

-They give you a chance to have some control. If you are a young person who feels powerless, this is a place to have some power. You're the boss here.

-They offer you a place to be someone else. The virtual world of the game allows you to live out fantasies that you might not indulge in real life. You can live a parallel existence. You can, in effect, have a "do-over". . . over and over and over.

-They get you hooked with their open-ended nature. Many of today's games never end. They just go on and on and on. You never get to say "game over" . . . which means it can go on and on and on at deeper and deeper levels.

I know that lots of parents of gamers are concerned about what their kids are playing, how much time they spend playing, and why the games are so increasingly important to them. Some of us might even tell our kids to "turn it off!" I know that those instructions are necessary and well justified from time to time. But maybe there's a time and place to first ask the question, "Why did you turn it on in the first place?" It's another great way to get to know the cares, concerns, and needs of our kids.

Watching Our Language. . . .

2011-09-19T07:24:00.002-04:00

The Philadelphia Inquirer's John Timpane recently wrote a piece on the words we use and don't use anymore. Timpane's report on Merriam-Webster's changing lexicon offers a great reflection of just how much our world and culture is actually morphing from one thing into another. Our words do reflect who we are, where we've come from, and where we're going. Believe it or not, the folks at the dictionary publisher surf pop culture to see what words are new, what words need to be dropped, and what words are on-deck. It's all quite telling.

Some of this year's changes are especially interesting to me as I continue work on our new CPYU Digital Kids Initiative. New words include tweet, robocall, social media, crowdsourcing, and m-commerce. . . a term used to describe transactions one makes on their mobile device. While new technologies are in, old technologies are out. . . making some of us feel really old. A couple of omissions include record changer and microreader. Yep, the old record player and library microfiche machines are now housed in the Smithsonian! An on-deck word that should have been included this time around is sexting.

The changing nature of relationships in today's world haven't been overlooked either. New words include bromance, cougar, helicopter parent, and boomerang child.

The rate of cultural change is snowballing. And just when you think you're catching up you discover that you might be using all the wrong word that aren't even words anymore, and not using all the words you should be using. . . which only gives your kids more reason to see you as hopelessly outdated and out-of-touch.

Oh well. So now we go to bed each every night wondering what tomorrow will bring. . . what words will be in and what words will be out. At least Merriam-Webster has included a new word that reflects developments that are helping more and more older folks sleep - continuous positive airway pressure. Are you clueless on that one? Well. . . go ahead and look it up!

Pat Robertson. . . Who Is He Speaking For? . . .

2011-09-15T11:31:00.002-04:00

Did you see the news about Pat Robertson this morning? Again, it was something he said that put him in the headlines once more. I realize that whenever someone the media doesn't like says something that the media doesn't like, it's bound to become a prominent story. This time - as at many other times - Pat Robertson has said something that should make deep and committed followers of Jesus cringe.

It was during the "Bring It On" segment of yesterday's show. Pat is fired a series of viewer questions and he answers. I'm not sure if he answers on the spot or if he's seen the questions ahead of time. I sure hope it's the former! . . . especially in light of one of the answers he gave yesterday. The question was about Alzheimer's Disease and a spouse. During his answer (which you can watch in the first few minutes of the video embedded below), he's interrupted by a co-host who has the same question I have. Still, Robertson stumbles around and comes up with something that's deeply disturbing.

Our vows - unless we've rewritten them - define a love-commitment that goes on and on and on - in sickness and in health - till death do us part. I know Pat speaks for some, but I certainly don't think he's articulating the will of God in his answer this time around.

Bothersome. . .

2011-09-13T07:19:00.002-04:00

Like you, I spent some time on Sunday flipping around to some of the various televised 9/11 remembrances. For most of the time, our family was stuck on MSNBC's rerunning of the actual live NBC broadcast of those horrible events as they unfolded. We were mostly silent as we pondered the tragedy and massive loss of human life. At times someone would make a comment or ask a question. Maybe the best word to describe our mood was solemn.

We also spent some time watching and listening to some of the "ten years after" commentary. Since it was the first full day of the NFL season, we saw flyovers, moments of silence, and patriotic flag-unfurlings at games around the country. Maybe the best word to describe the mood of these events was tasteful.

But at one point later in the day I was flying through the channels when I stopped on a station that usually leaves me scratching my head. On Sunday, the head scratching jumped into high gear as the Home Shopping Network peddled a medallion engraved with the New York skyline pre-9/11. I don't know her name, but she was one of the many generic sales-models that usually sell fake precious metals and gems to a host of home shoppers. . . many of whom, I'm sure, will buy anything and everything sold in TV. But on a day when we needed to ponder the imperfections and broken condition of humanity, here was HSN seemingly cashing in on tragedy to make a buck. The sales pitch went on and on as the number of items sold rose. To me, it seemed almost like a souvenir stand had been set up next to Ground Zero as the dust was still settling. . . and the proprietor of the stand was barking out her sales pitch loud and clear. Maybe the best word to describe what I was watching was bothersome.

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised. But aren't there times and places when we shouldn't be trying to make a buck. . . especially off of tragedy? Maybe we're so used to marketing, selling, and spending that stuff like this has just been normalized and accepted.

Matters Of Size . . . .

2011-09-07T14:24:00.007-04:00

Buried in a sea of seminar research and writing, my mind wandered today while writing a little section on social networking and how it feeds our Narcissism. We love to let other people know what we're doing . . . every little detail. Oops. . . I just told you I was writing a seminar today. Still, there's a point. As I was thinking through the sometimes ugly ways our hearts and desires connect to and use (maybe abuse is a better word here) social media tools, I got to thinking and writing about liking to be liked. You know. . . the little "like" button on Facebook. . . a brilliant idea by the way. Going places where I'm always going to be liked is pretty doggone desirable! Why isn't there a "dislike" button? For the simple reason that such a button wouldn't serve us well. For example, Lady Gaga's Facebook page has over 43 million "likes". . . and not one "dislike." Who would have thought?

I got to thinking about metrics and numbers and how we now rely on them to gauge our success or failure. We do that in the church you know. Twenty-five years ago I came out of a day spent at a National Youthworkers Convention wondering where I stood on the youth ministry success/failure scale. A series of firsthand and overhead conversations that day always came down to the number of kids in your youth ministry. I'd answer the question with a number and then wait for a response. . . which could be read through words, tone, and body language as to whether or not the other person saw me and our ministry as successful or not so much. A couple of weeks ago I had a conversation with a pastor who told me the size of his church thinking that size matters quite a bit in my mind. Sure, if I'm honest I have to admit it can be a struggle. But the truth is that deep down inside this kind of stuff churns around like a piece of rotten food that just won't settle. You know it's just not right.

As I mulled that over, I remembered that Derek Melleby had lent me his copy of Eugene Peterson's memoir, The Pastor, a few months ago after we had one of our many conversations about this very topic. Derek, I'm sorry that the book has been sitting on my desk since then. It's been a few months. But I remembered today that you bookmarked a page containing a letter Peterson once wrote to a pastor friend who was leaving his current church to lead a "more promising" congregation that was three times the size. I read that letter today and it felt like a good dose of stomach-settling stuff. I thought I would pass it on in its entirety:

Dear Phillip,

I've been thinking about our conversation last week and want to respond to what you anticipate in your new congregation. You mentioned its prominence in the town, a center, a kind of cathedral church that would be able to provide influence for the Christian message far beyond its walls.Did I hear you right?

I certainly understand the appeal and feel it myself frequently. But I am also suspicious of the appeal and believe that gratifying it is destructive both to the gospel and the pastoral vocation. It is the kind of thing America specializes in, and one of the consequences is that American religion and the pastoral vocation are in a shabby state.

It is also the kind of thing for which we have abundant documentation through twenty centuries now, of debilitating both congregation and pastor. In general terms it it the devils temptation to Jesus to throw himself from the pinnacle of the temple. Every time the church's leaders depersonalize, even a little, the worshiping, loving community, the gospel is weakened. And size is the great depersonalizer. Kierkegaard's criticism is still cogent: "the more people, the less truth."

The only way the Christian life is brought to maturity is through intimacy, renunciation, and personal deepening. And the pastor is in a key position to nurture such maturity. It is true that these things can take place in the context of large congregations, but only by strenuously going against the grain. Largeness is an impediment, not a help.

Classically, there are three ways in which humans try to find transcendence - religious meaning, God's meaning - a part from God as revealed in the cross of Jesus: through the ecstasy of alcohol and drugs, through the ecstasy of recreational sex, through the ecstasy of crowds. Church leaders frequently warn against the drugs and the sex, but, at least in America, almost never against the crowds. Probably because they get so much ego benefit from the crowds.

But a crowd destroys the spirit as thoroughly as excessive drink and depersonalized sex. It takes us out of ourselves, but not to God, only away from him. The religious hunger is rooted in the unsatisfactory nature of the self. We hunger to escape the dullness, the boredom, the tiresomeness of me. We can escape upward or downward. Drugs and depersonalized sex are a false transcendence downward. A crowd is an exercise in false transcendence upward, which is why all crowds spiritually pretty much the same, whether at football games, political rallies, or at church.

So why are we pastors so unsuspicious of crowds , so naive about the false transcendence that they engender? Why are we so knowledgeable in the false transcendence of drink and sex and so unlearned in the false transcendence of crowds? There are many spiritual masters in our tradition who diagnose and warn, but they are little read today. I myself have never written what I really feel on this subject, maybe because I am not entirely sure of myself, there being so few pastors alive today who agree. Or maybe is is because I don't want to risk wholesale repudiation by friends whom I genuinely like and respect. But I really do feel that crowds are a worse danger, far worse than drink or sex, and pastors may be the only people on the planet to encourage an imagination that conceives of congregations strategically not in terms of its size but as a congenial setting for becoming mature in Christ in a community, not a crowd.

Your present congregation is close to ideal in size to employ your pastoral vocation for forming Christian maturity. You have talked about "multiplying your influence." My apprehension is that your anticipated move will diminish your vocation, not enhance it.

Can we talk more about this? I would welcome a continuing conversation.

The peace of Christ,

Eugene

I think size does indeed matter in ministry. . . but maybe not in the ways that we think it does.

Maryland's Football Uniforms. . . And Contemporary Culture. . . .

2011-09-06T07:34:00.005-04:00

Nothing could be more exciting than watching Cliff Lee pitch against the Braves. . . or so I thought last night. I found something pretty amazing when I flipped over to the Maryland - Miami football game on ESPN. If you happened to catch the Terp's uniforms you know exactly what I'm talking about. They were so outlandish that they prompted love them/hate them debates that I'm sure will be water-cooler fodder all over the place today.

If I might weigh in with my personal opinion. . . at first glance I loved them. They're out-of-the-box, over-the-top, incredibly creative. I'm sure most viewers lacking context wondered what in the world was going on. Because I vacation with my family in Maryland every summer, I immediately recognized the Maryland State Flag running all over the field. I might be biased toward the uniforms as they remind me of the flags flown all over the place at our vacation destination. Yes, my favorable response might actually be evidence of the fact that Pavlov was right about those salivating dogs!

Before the season started, Maryland's new coach Randy Edsall paraded an array of new uniform styles and combinations in front of the press. Seems that Maryland was going to surpass the Oregon Ducks for on-field style supremacy. There's a part of me that loves this kind of stuff. I've always loved uniforms. When I was a little guy, I spent alot of time looking at the NFL mini-helmet collection that was mine thanks to an offer on a box of Frosted Flakes. The colors. . . the logos. . . OK. . . I know. . . weird.

Today, I'm thinking about uniforms and helmets once again thanks to the University of Maryland football team. This time around, however, I'm thinking about the cultural significance of what we saw last night. Here are a few initial thoughts about what this uniform stuff tells us about who we are and what we value . . .

-It's all about the choices. We live in a world where the "same old same old" gets really, really boring. We need choices and we need change.

-It's all about individualization and customization. Ironically, we still all walk to the beat of the same drummer in our peer-driven desire for something that's different from what other people have or do. We want to express ourselves. We decorate our cell phones with customized skins and ring tones. Menstruating young girls can now purchase tampons in a variety of bright and expressive colors. . . seriously.

-It's all about style. I need to grab attention. Choices, individualization, and customization all allow me to create my style, my look, my persona.

-Uniformity isn't really necessary in a postmodern world. Of course, everyone who's on the same team will be wearing the same thing. That hasn't changed. But the Maryland uniforms we saw last night were not mirror-imaged. I remember how the little Pittsburgh Steelers helmet in my childhood collection bugged me because it wasn't uniform. It only had a decal on one side. Last night we saw that taken to an extreme from the top of their helmets to the bottom of their pants. We can now be all over the place and uneven morally, spiritually, ethically, and on our uniforms.

-Marketing and consumerism rules. I see this every time I check out the Majestic Store at Citizen's Bank Park. When I was a kid, the Phillies had two uniforms - home and away. Each of those uniforms shared the same hat. One uniform was white. One uniform was gray. Now, there is a dizzying array of anything and everything. Why is that? Well, just check out the aforementioned observations and add to that the fact that we buy it all. There's lots of money to spend and lots of money to be made.

The University of Maryland has begun something that won't stop very soon at all. Keep at eye on it as it spreads like wildfire. And. . . . think about it.

A Smack On Our Tweeting Fingers. . . .

2011-09-02T08:14:00.005-04:00

Later this month I'll be hunkering down with a group of youth workers for about 150 minutes at The National Youthworkers Convention in San Diego. During those 150 minutes I'll be sharing for the first time some of what I've learned during my five months of concentrated research on the Digital Frontier and how it's affecting us and our kids in a brand new "Digital Kids" seminar. I keep having to remind myself that I've only got 150 minutes in San Diego because I'm still hunkered down here on the home front. . .for another 4 weeks. . . compiling research and writing the seminar!

One of the principles that keeps coming up as I've been researching is what Marshall McCluhan prophetically wrote about back in the 1960s when he worked to convince us that "the medium is the message." McCluhan would agree that media's content does shape us. But the media itself alters our lives in huge ways. For example, the invention of printing meant that we no longer had to commit things to memory as books and the knowledge they contained on their pages was only an arm's length away. Make sense?

That said, we must wisely and Christianly consider how the media/technology glut that's flowing out of the cultural fire hydrant in today's world is shaping us, changing us, and sometimes messing us over.

In the midst of all this I haven't been able to shake the fact that Twitter offers a prime example of how careful we must be. Quentin J. Schultze wrote his Habits of the High-Tech Heart: Living Virtuously in the Information Age four years before Jack Dorsey created Twitter in 2006. Dorsey's Twitter has morphed into "Exhibit A" of what Schultze calls our "succumbing to informationism: a non-discerning, vacuous faith in the collection and dissemination of information as a route to social progress and personal happiness." Long before Twitter even existed, Schultze wrote that the dissemination of information has become "an incessant noise that repeatedly diverts our attention from greater matters." For the Christian, that's something we need to recognize and remedy through redemptive use of things like Twitter. No, we don't need to condemn Twitter to Hell. Rather, we need to smack some sense into our Tweeting fingers so that our use of the micro-blogging platform brings honor and glory to God, rather than honor and glory to self. . . or the kingdoms of the world, the flesh, and the devil.

Consider these words from Schultze's Habits of the High-Tech Heart: "More and more people have the power to exchange messages and access databases, but fewer people seem to know what life means or how to live it well. . . . Instead of knowing well, we spend more time merely messaging - quickly sending and receiving email missives, downloading and uploading digital files, and surfing through cyberspace. When we message too much, we begin to lose intimacy with others, the natural world, the Creator, and even ourselves. Faster messaging can be instrumental good - such as getting stock market quotes more quickly - but it is far less likely to be a moral good. Morally conducive forms of knowing, such as conversing and contemplating, are lost, thoughtful, and personal. . . . An overdependence on messaging reduces human communication to an instrumental means of satisfying our own immediate desires."

So, I think I'm going to get bold in San Diego. . . and Atlanta. . .and elsewhere. I may say some pretty direct things that I - first and foremost - need to hear. As Christians, we are called to stand apart. . . to be in but not of the world. . . to use technology and media structures in ways that honor and glorify God. . . to be obedient and redemptive. . . to seriously and carefully consider every new thing that comes down the pike rather than jumping in with reckless abandon void of forethought. . . to model all this for the kids we've been entrusted with. . . kids who are only beginning life in a world that will only get more technological and information-based as the years pass. I might be laying my fingers out on the table and invite you all to join me. . . and then we'll share a much-needed smack.

It Was Twenty Years Ago Today. . . .

2011-08-31T07:28:00.007-04:00

I'm not sure what the experts would call it, but I measure my life in increments. Two weeks ago today. . . one week from today. . . ten years from now. . . . etc. I'm not sure why I do it, but it helps me to both remember and to plan ahead. Playing that little game today has some extra special meaning for me. The first words of The Beatles' "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" have been in my thoughts for several days. You see, we moved here to Elizabethtown on August 31, 1991. Twenty years. So hard to believe. Our days truly are like the grass of the field.

This anniversary is important to me for what it reminds me of. We had been living in the Philly area for six years and were one year into what we are doing now. We had three of our four children and they were little. . . sharing a tiny bedroom we called "the bunkhouse" in a house we were renting from my folks. A move to a bigger place was necessary but the rent for anything bigger in that market was way out of our league. Through a series of miraculous God-planned circumstances, we discovered we could build a house in Elizabethtown for less than renting in the Philly suburbs. Not knowing where the money would come from, we started the process. Along the way, God provided in some amazing and very humbling ways.

That's why I need to pause to celebrate and remember. We never asked for financial help. . . but offers of all types came in from God's people. Generous checks came as we needed them. . . appearing from almost nowhere. I still thank God for those folks. You know who you are. A builder named Gerry Horst stepped up out here and built us a house at what we could afford, making it affordable by allowing us to leave some of the house unfinished while also allowing us to drop the price by doing some of the finish work ourselves. My brother Mark - the most talented wood-working craftsman I know - hung doors, trim, and cabinets. His miter joints still look remarkably perfect! A small army of people came out to help us paint. I can't remember everyone who helped us apply two coats of Pittsburgh Paint's "Bone White" to every square inch of the place, but I do remember Jeff, Bob, Randy, Judy, and Dave as being among the many who drove the 90 miles to help us out for a few hours. Then there was the moving day with the big rented truck and the host of people on both ends who helped to load and unload. Every day that I walk out into our driveway I am reminded of that moving day by the small indentation left in my driveway from the corner of the rental truck lift.

Lots has happened in the twenty years since. I've been thinking about that all week. Over the years I've tried to remember to thank God everyday for the gift of the house we live in. In many ways, I still can't believe that it all happened. We added a child at this house and they are now all grown. The place is filled with amazing memories both inside and out. I've thought a lot about that over the last few days. But there are two overwhelming thoughts I've had as I've pondered the twenty years we've spent in this place.

First, God has reminded me that life on this earth is not what it's meant to be. There's been a lot of pain and heartache since 1991. When I think about the army of people who contributed to our house and our move, I realize that the years and all of our lives have been filled with disease, death, divorce, discord, and all other sorts of messy stuff and brokenness. The rotting window wood I fixed this summer is really representative of life. Moth and rust continue to creep into everything.

But I'm glad there is a second reality. I've also learned that God is and that God is in control. He's in the business of carrying burdens, redeeming suffering, and making all things new. There's a day coming when He'll fix it all and we'll inhabit the new Heaven and the new Earth.

Today, I look back to a great day and thank God for what He did. Today, I look forward to an even better day when all that bad stuff I already mentioned will be healed and happening no more. I was reminded of that once again just yesterday when a pastor friend told me about a woman he knows who was asked, "Tell me about the best day of your life." She answered, "It hasn't happened yet!" I look forward to that moving day as well.

Ready Or Not. . . Here She Came. . . .

2011-08-30T07:53:00.003-04:00

It's hard to believe that in our post-Katrina world, people would actually be complaining about over-preparation for Hurricane Irene. . . but they are. The older I get, the more convinced I become that you can't be too prepared for the things life throws at you. . . whether it's the weather or the storms of life.

I was thinking about this over the course of the weekend as we worked to get prepared and as we watched a diminished Irene blow through. Our preparation started unexpectedly during a two-day trip to visit our friends Randy and Tammie at their place in Ocean City, NJ. Just as we were preparing to say goodbye and head home on Thursday afternoon, the rains started. Randy has a 16-foot Hobie Catamaran sitting among a dozen other almost identical boats on one of Ocean City's three boat beaches. With only a couple of days until he was heading home for good, he was thinking ahead to the annual routine of getting that boat off the beach and back into storage. He accepted our spontaneous offer to help him with the task before we left. The entire ordeal would have made a great YouTube video as the four of us struggled to lower the mast and carry and trailer the boat in the midst of rain, thunder, and lightning. When Randy asked me to steady the mast with both hands I wondered how long it would be until I was treated to a flash, crack, and front row seat to seeing my entire life re-run before my eyes. Still, we got it done, we laughed, and we wound up with a great memory. Most important. . . we prepared for the storm that was coming.

I did the same when I got home. Our patio furniture and all other potential projectiles were put in the garage. My garbage cans and lids joined them. Since we have a well at our house, I filled coolers with water just in case there was a power outage. I think we were ready.

Storms in life are inevitable. The big difference between life and the weather is that forecasters don't exist who can give us details about the tragedy, struggle, or surprise that might come blowing unexpectedly into our lives as soon as tonight or tomorrow. That's why constant vigilance and preparation are so important. The Scriptures tell us that the rain falls on the just and the unjust. The Psalms are full of laments occasioned by those rains. Wise men and woman build the houses of their lives on the solid and rocky foundation of God's Word. Remember singing that song? The older I get, the more and more convinced I become of my need to go to the well of God's Word moment by moment each and every day. It is from that well that we are able to draw our strength.

No storms may hit me today. . . or maybe they will. I don't know. I just need to be prepared. . . over-prepared.

Why I Couldn't Watch The VMAs. . . .

2011-08-29T08:15:00.004-04:00

Much to my own surprise, I just couldn't do it this year. Truth is, I just decided not to. For years I've been watching the MTV Music Video Awards. I don't think I've missed one since they started. Every year I'd assume my spot on the couch with pen and legal pad in hand. In recent years, my laptop's been at my side. I've watched carefully, processed, thought about, and written/blogged on this annual event that serves as a cultural barometer. I'm convinced that the VMAs offer a window into where we've come from, where we are, and where we're going as a culture. That hasn't changed.

So, what happened this year? I spent the days leading up to last night's show preparing to watch. Then, halfway through the afternoon the thought of watching became increasingly troubling to me. I sensed strongly that there would be better ways to spend my time. One of the things I've learned over the course of 21-plus years of full-time youth culture watching is that sometimes you just get tired, especially when culture watching includes a lot of trudging through muck. It wears you out. That's where I was at yesterday. I was too tired to be looking for signs of life in the midst of what always turns out to be two-hours of discouraging muck that all-too-often leaves me grieving over the muck-makers and the kids who so willingly ingest the muck. Make sense?

As the VMAs kicked off last night, I climbed into bed with a book. I decided to use the time to focus on the light that penetrates our cultural darkness. The book that seemed most appropriate to me was a new book that's been sitting next to my bed ever since it arrived. Byran Chapell's The Hardest Sermons You'll Ever Have to Preach is a collection of sermons preached by some highly respected contemporary preachers in response to some of life's hardest circumstances in tragic times. I read George Robertson's sermon that he preached at the funeral of a teenager who had committed suicide. I also read Dan Doriani's sermon in response to the tragedy of child abuse. Both sermons threw the reassuring light of God's Word into the midst of the darkness of two social problems that pervade youth culture today. I went to sleep pondering the life-giving realities of God's Word rather than two-hours of mostly-troubling sermonizing by the cultural icons who are nurturing our kids. I'm glad I did.

At some point I'll be watching this year's VMAs. It just couldn't be last night. All of us need to regularly step away to pause, pray, and reflect on that which is timeless and true. For me, one of those times was last night.

College Football, Entitlement, Miami. . . and Kirk Cousins. . . .

2011-08-26T08:30:00.003-04:00

My friend Dan Sterk, a youth worker in Michigan, sent me an email this week. It was short and it wound up being very sweet. Dan was raised to be a fan of the Michigan Wolverines. He married a young lady, Kristen, who is equally enthusiastic about rooting for Michigan. I'm not sure, but it might have been a requirement for him to marry a Michigan fan. Dan told me all that before pointing me to a very interesting and curious YouTube link. . . .

While watching the video, I couldn't help but think about what sports have become in our culture. I thought about athletes and the sense of entitlement they feel. Thanks to role models who flaunt entitlement, we have an entire generation of grade school athletes whose aspirations seem to include a combination of college scholarships and arrogance. Humility is no longer seen as a virtue. I also thought about what's happening at the University of Miami and how the NCAA will respond.

The video features a short speech from Michigan State Quarterback Kirk Cousins. The speech was given at the annual Big Ten Kickoff Luncheon. Cousins was chosen to speak on behalf and to all the Big Ten Football players. In a sports culture that increasingly seems and smells like a cesspool, this one is a diamond. Cousins' message, delivery, conviction, and boldness sent a shiver up my spine. . . really. This is a speech that I trust will be seen, heard, and heeded by coaches, athletes, parents, and fans of every age and every sport.

Thanks Dan, for the heads up on this one. And yes, maybe you should shift your allegiance for a year!

12-Year-Olds And The Little League World Series. . . Too Much Too Soon? . . . .

2011-08-23T10:37:00.007-04:00

I don't know if it was every little boy's dream, but it was certainly mine. I played Little League Baseball for the East Abington Little League. My first year at the Double-A level was a year that I remember was filled with aspirations. I'd say that about 95 percent of my aspirational energy was spent dreaming about one day playing on the lush green grass of Connie Mack Stadium. The blacktop of a church parking lot and patchy grass of the neighborhood backyard ball field was consistently transformed in the confines of my imagination into Connie Mack. It happened whether we were playing a game of pick-up or if I was alone throwing an endless number of two-out, bottom-of-the-ninth pop-ups to myself.

The other 5 percent of aspiration kicked into gear this time of year with the arrival of the Little League World Series in Williamsport, PA, an event that culminated with the championship game played on Saturday afternoon before a live television audience tuned in to ABC's Wide World of Sports. A kid can dream, can't he? Of course, our teams never made it.

This year, every game of the Little League World Series is being carried on ESPN/ABC. I tuned in last night to watch our Pennsylvania team record another win in an elimination game. The match-up had been moved from the afternoon slot due to the fact that a crowd exceeding 40,000 was expected. Wow!

What does this growing surge of interest in 12-year-olds playing baseball tell us about who we are? What - if anything - does it do to the kids? I've been thinking about this since reading an article in last Friday's USA Today: "Hershiser says kids crave LLWS attention." (scroll down once you link to find the article). Orel is once-again serving as an analyst for broadcasts of the games. As people wonder if the TV coverage (which, by the way, you have to check out - It's a multi-camera graphic-heavy package) is putting too much pressure on kids (that is, after all, what they are), Hershiser is saying that his focus is on relieving pressure. He accomplishes this by praising the players and focusing on the positive rather than on the inevitable mistakes. But watching the whole package leaves me with the feeling that once again, we are pressuring kids out of childhood, while valuing things that just shouldn't be over-valued as they are.

One of the new books that I'm excited to read is Joe Ehrmann's Inside Out Coaching: How Sports Can Transform Lives. You might remember that Ehrmann is the subject of Jeffrey Marx's wonderful book Season of Life. . . one of my all-time favorite sports books. I was flipping through Ehrmann's new book this morning and came across some familiar words regarding the three fundamental cultural lies that every boy is fed regarding his value and worth as a man:

1. Your value and worth lies in your athletic ability.
2. Your value and worth lies in sexual conquest.
3. Your value and worth lies in the level of economic success you achieve.

Sadly, those three lies all find expression in our sports culture. . . a culture that tends toward not only idolizing all three, but weaving them all together.

I'm afraid that what used to be boyhood aspirations are now cultural idols. If you get a chance to watch the Little League World Series this year, think about that as you watch. . . the players, the coverage, the fans, the parents, etc. Have we gone too far?

More Reason To Not Like Abercrombie. . . .

2011-08-22T08:25:00.006-04:00

Al Lewis had a great little column yesterday in the Wall Street Journal supplement that runs in many newspapers across the country. Lewis exposes the obvious marketing and publicity push by the edgy and always-envelope-stretching clothing retailer that involves Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino of MTV "Jersey Shore" fame.

It seems that Sorrentino is annoying and upsetting Abercrombie by wearing their brand on "Jersey Shore." The reason? According to a release from the retailer, "We are deeply concerned that Mr. Sorrentino's association with our brand could cause significant damage to our image. We understand that the show is for entertainment purposes, but believe this association is contrary to the aspirational nature of our brand, and may be distressing to many of our fans."

OK. . . are you kidding? Yep. . . Abercrombie's fans have been nurtured by the brand into a batch of high moral standards that far exceed the questionable morals promoted by "Jersey Shore." Remember - as Al Lewis reminds us - that this is the same retailer that peddled "Who needs brains when you have these?" T-Shirts for girls a few years ago.

Thanks Abercrombie, for once again looking out for our kids!

Seriously? If nothing else, Abercrombie offers a great case study in how to effectively market product and worldview in today's self-absorbed brand conscious world. Sadly, their strategies work. The brand continues to grow and a host of shallow people continue to indulge their shallowness by buying the product and the worldview.

Should Christians think differently about Abercrombie? Or, am I just an alarmist?

(Click here to see a post I wrote on Abercrombie a few months ago.)

Redeeming My Mouth. . . And Singing About It. . .

2011-08-16T07:01:00.002-04:00

The other day I was up at the track and I spotted a young female runner who looked familiar. . . but I wasn't sure. I was afraid that any effort on my part to get closer to grab a look would be interpreted as incredibly creepy, especially if she wasn't who I thought she was. It wasn't until Meghan finished her run and was walking in my direction that we officially recognized each other and stopped to chat.

Meghan and my daughter Bethany were great friends in high school. Afater graduation, Meghan left town for college and I'd only see her sporadically. As we caught up, Meghan told me that she's soon leaving for graduate school. "To study what?," I asked. "Speech Pathology," she responded. That answer is always my cue to spout off on how a speech therapist changed my life in big, big ways. I spent several years during early elementary school getting pulled out of class for regular sessions of one-on-one speech therapy in an effort to overcome a horrible lisp. . . . you know. . . the kind where every "s" you utter comes out like sounding like a "th" . . . which would have required me to marry a girl named "Leetha."

As I've gotten older and thought about the hours my speech therapist invested in my life, I am grateful in so many ways. Pragmatically, I was spared lots of harassment I'm sure, thanks to her efforts. I doubt I'd be doing what I'm doing now if it hadn't been for her. I would have most likely had my extroversion squelched and I would have chosen a vocation that required little or no communication skills. But I also think theologically about that experience. The Biblical drama of Creation, Fall, and Redemption were worked out in a small way as a woman chose a vocation centered on redeeming broken speech. That's not at all a stretch.

The dualism of the sacred/secular divide we've imposed on our understanding of the world is one that needs to be shattered. Those involved in "full-time" ministry are not about the sacred any more than those who butcher, bake, or candlestick make. Every possible vocational pursuit - in fact every pursuit of life - is sacred as we are to pursue it in praise and honor to God.

After telling Meghan about my own experience and the value her career path played in my life, I got back to walking. While thinking about the redemptive nature of Speech Pathology, I was reminded of the first hymn we sang in my first chapel service on campus as a new student at Gordon-Conwell Seminary back in 1982. "Earth and All Stars" was new to me. I had never heard it before. The words lit me up and sent shivers down my spine, especially the words of stanzas 4 and 5. It reminds me of our need to teach our kids about what it means to live redemptively in all of life.

1. Earth and all stars, loud rushing planets,
sing to the Lord a new song!
O victory, loud shouting army,
sing to the Lord a new song!

Refrain: He has done marvelous things.
I, too, will praise him with a new song!

2. Hail, wind, and rain, loud blowing snowstorms,
sing to the Lord a new song!
Flowers and trees, loud rustling leaves,
sing to the Lord a new song! Refrain

3. Trumpet and pipes, loud clashing cymbals,
sing to the Lord a new song!
Harp, lute, and lyre, loud humming cellos,
sing to the Lord a new song! Refrain

4. Engines and steel, loud pounding hammers,
sing to the Lord a new song!
Limestone and beams, loud building workers,
sing to the Lord a new song! Refrain

5. Classrooms and labs, loud boiling test tubes,
sing to the Lord a new song!
Athlete and band, loud cheering people,
sing to the Lord a new song! Refrain

6. Knowledge and truth, loud sounding wisdom,
sing to the Lord a new song!
Daughter and son, loud praying members,
sing to the Lord a new song! Refrain

The Game, Flash Mobs, and Phony Phone Calls. . . .

2011-08-15T08:17:00.004-04:00

So prosecutors in Los Angeles County are deciding what they want to do with The Game. It seems that last Friday the rapper sent out a mischievous tweet to his almost 600,000 Twitter followers. The Tweet invited followers to call a number if they wanted an internship. The phone number connected directly to the Compton station of the County Sheriff's department. As you might imagine, the folks at the Sheriff's department weren't too happy with the "arrival" of a telephonic flash mob.

On a side note, the term "flash mob" is new to the lexicon. Another sign of our changing times. Whenever I see that run-all-too-often flash mob commercial from AT&T (see below), I'm reminded of how fast culture changes. The commercial is tired and old. But just the other night I commented to my wife that our parents might not have a clue what's going on in the spot. What's "yesterday" to us has yet to get traction with the prior generation.

Back to The Game and his flash mob inciting Tweet. . . . This incident and others like it are certainly indicators of what life is becoming in our hyper-connected digital world. Recent flash mob behavior and rioting in Britain show what happens when technological tools are enlisted to indulge our deep-seated depravity. While we might want to point fingers at the technology, the reality is that the technology is only a means to sinful expression. That same sinfulness would be expressed with or without the technology. Our hearts have been finding ways to do their own thing since life in the Garden. The Narcissist will be a Narcissist with or without Twitter. Twitter just makes it easier and more expedient for the Narcissist to indulge their Narcissism in a broader and more immediate manner.

When I first heard the story on The Game, I have to admit that I chuckled a bit. That chuckle was precipitated by a deep knowledge of my own heart and behavior that always seemed to find a way to go to the line without crossing it during my adolescent years. Perhaps I did cross the line a few times. But the fact that I always got away with it led me to believe that it was just innocent fun. I confess that I was one of those people who took full advantage of the ability to enlist the phone illicitly in those oh-so-much-better pre-caller ID days. Just ask Mrs. Zwickel. That poor lady was the last entry in the residential listings of the suburban Philly phone book back before I was even a teenager. I had a good friend - who is now a pastor by the way! - who was complicit in harassing Mrs. Zwickel. We'd use the extension phone in his parents room. . . quietly. . . behind closed doors. Yes, we knew that what we were doing would get us in trouble and we had to be sneaky. My love for phone pranks spiraled down pretty quickly from there, continuing into my college years.

All that to say that there's another way our culture has changed. By and large, the moral constraints that sent us quietly behind closed doors to indulge our devious behavior undercover are gone. Now, what was once seen as vice is now celebrated as virtue. . . or at the very least, it's believed to be morally neutral. So, we behave boldy. Peggy Noonan's wonderful piece in the Wall Street Journal is worth reading, as she connects the dots between what's happening in Britain, moral decline, and what just might be on the horizon for us here in the States.

Ideas have consequences. Sadly, we don't see the consequences until long after we've embraced new ideas without thought or critique. It's the same with technology. What we see happening around and within offers convincing proof of our brokenness. I'm afraid it's also the working out of Romans 1. . . "God gave them over. . . "

Yesterday I Stepped Into a Time Machine. . . .

2011-08-12T07:41:00.003-04:00

. . . and it threw me into the future that is now. Really. It's true. Here's what happened. I decided to head over to the library at our local college here in town. To give you some context, it's a private liberal arts school with about 1500 traditional undergrads in the student population. It's got a reputation for having high entrance standards, rigorous academics, and a nice little campus. It's not cheap, either. It's the kind of school that would be a first choice rather than a back-up on most kids' lists.

Over the years, this library has become a favorite place for me to do research. Lots of periodicals to scan. Lots of reference materials. The latest and best databases and technology. It's got some nice quiet nooks to hunker down in as well. But I hadn't been in the building for a couple of years. I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed to admit that or not. During the last year I've had a good excuse. I was recovering from a bicycle accident and trying to catch up. Time for dedicated library research was nil. The year before that. . . I'm not sure what excuse I can throw at you. I did spend time in other libraries during that time, and I've been afforded additional database access from my home or office. I just haven't been there.

So my trip yesterday was part of my quest to some more digging around as part of my continued research on Digital Kids and the effects of technology on people and our culture. I was excited to get back in there. As a kid, I never in a million years would have dreamed that a trip into a school library would be exciting. . . but it is. But something happened when I walked through the front door. Things on that first floor had changed. . . a lot. So much so that I stopped dead in my tracks and did a full 360 to take it all in.

Here's what I saw. To my left - the periodical shelves - things looked very, very different. Half of the periodical shelves were gone. Not there. Disappeared. The empty half of that side of the room now featured some very well appointed conversation pits, couches, chairs, coffee tables, etc. Doggone it. I loved taking time to walk through and scan the periodical shelves. Now, half of the magazines and journals were gone. To my right - the main reference section - it appeared that more than half of the shelf space had vanished as well. There were fewer shelving units. The units that remained were only 2 or 3 shelves high, rather than going from the floor to ceiling. I could see all the way across the room to the opposite wall and windows. You couldn't do that before. Too many floor to ceiling shelves. Everything looked so scant. In addition, the only people I spotted were one librarian at the main desk, and a woman who looked to be about my age tapping away furiously at one of the computer terminals that offered a gateway to the library catalog and a host of research databases and tools. The computer terminals were about the only familiar thing to me, by the way. Sure it's summer and the students won't be back for a few weeks, but nobody young was in that room.

OK. . . reorient. . . and try to recover as much of your usual routine as possible, I thought. So, I headed over to the remaining periodical shelves and started to scan. Didn't take long at all. Now, over to the terminal to start doing some work. I was situated at a terminal right next to the aforementioned woman who was furiously tapping away. I thought to myself. . . seriously. . . that she must have been a peer working on some kind of research project as well. It wasn't until I was about 20 minutes into my own research that my curiosity got the best of me and I glanced over at her terminal screen thinking that she might be working on a cure for cancer or something like that. Oh man!. . . she was playing Farmville! She continued to do so for almost an hour. Her pack of generic cigarettes sitting on the table next to her keys should have clued me in to the fact that the cancer cure wasn't on her agenda. Yes Toto. . . we're not in Kansas anymore.

Before heading off to other floors and time spent immersed in the book stacks, I had to go over and satisfy my curiosity by asking the librarian one simple question. "I haven't been in here for a couple of years. I've noticed some changes. When and why did all this take place?" She looked at me and said, "In the last two years. And why?" Then, she reached out with two hands towards her own computer terminal, telling me without words that the digital frontier was rapidly changing the look and feel of the library.

But that wasn't all. I proceeded to tell her that I had come in to do some research on the effects that rapidly developing technology was having on people, kids, and culture. That prompted a litany couched in frustration that I have to share. She started to rattle off a bullet list of stuff with words and descriptors that I could never find in book. Her emotion came through loud and clear. . . I just hope that my frantic scribblings after our conversation captured what she was really trying to tell me. Here it is. . .

-Students (at her school and everywhere else) don't know how to read. They read differently in terms of brain function and page engagement than students just a few years ago. The reason? Computer screens as the mediator of words rather than the printed page. Reading has become just plain hard for them and many don't do it.

-You won't find many students in the library except between the hours of 9:30pm and 1am. They use it as a quiet place to study and for group work.

-Students lack skills in critical thinking. They have little desire, little ability, and little/rare skill to think about and process not only what they read, but what they hear in the classroom. . . which leads to. . .

-An inability or even willingness to try to discern truth from error. The reality is that they see no difference between fact and opinion. Their own opinion trumps fact. She used this example - "If someone tells a student that the sun is in the sky, the student will say 'No it's not.'" Case closed.

-And regarding authority. . . they have little or no respect for a professor, writer, or researcher who has spent a lifetime studying something in particular and who has become an expert in their field. They have no idea that someone who has studied something for years might know more than they do. She said they believe that "my opinion trumps your facts and expertise."

-Plagiarism. . . it's huge. Little or no concept that cutting and pasting digital documments written by others might even be wrong.

Yep. . . I stepped into a time machine and was transported into the future that is now. To be honest, none of this was really new to me. I've seen it and encountered it with students in classrooms where I'm the guy at the front. People have been predicting and writing about this new landscape for years. Now, it's here.

What does this mean for those of us who are Christians, who want to learn and teach, who are raising and ministering to kids, and who want to spread the message about rigorous discipleship of the mind and the spiritual depth that follows?

The Soul in Cyberspace. . . 14 Years Later. . .

2011-08-11T07:50:00.004-04:00

I'm still researching this project related to the role the digital frontier and social media are playing in culture and the lives of our kids. Yesterday I spotted a book on my shelf that was published in 1997, the same year I gave it a read. It's The Soul in Cyberspace by Douglas Groothuis. At the time, it was one of a few serious and thoughtful critiques of our developing digital world written from a Christian perspective. Still, when I spotted it yesterday I brushed it off as 14-years-old and most likely hopelessly outdated. To be honest, I thought it might be as relevant today as a monochrome (green and white, I think) monitor in a high-def flat-screen monitor world.

Still, I picked it up, brought it home, and read it again last night. I realized that with 14 years of monumental change under our belts since Groothuis first published his book, The Soul in Cyberspace was incredibly prophetic for its time and even more so relevant today.

We are integrated, troubled souls who long for redemption. Groothuis looks at and ponders the possible effects of the digital age with a Biblical worldview as the foundation. He says that any investigation of the fate of the soul in cyberspace must confront the jealous deity/god of technology, an almost-universally-held default belief that those things which are new and cutting edge are the only reliable sources for improving the human condition and ushering in redemption. Yes, even in the church. And so, we worship and follow and serve and are consumed by/with this god.

He quotes social critic Langdon Winner on our dangerous propensity (yes, even as Christians!) to quickly say "yes" to all this new stuff, to quickly integrate it without thoughtful reflection into our lives, and then ask questions later. We do that, don't we? And because the digital age has sped things up, we jettison thoughtful reflection much faster than we used to. In fact, we don't even give the need for thoughtful reflection a thought. How about this quote from Winner. . . "In the technical realm we repeatedly enter into a series of social contracts, the terms of which are revealed only after signing." Yep. That shows just how ignorant we've become.

Groothuis goes on to call for Christians to tackle life on the digital frontier with a commitment to avoiding worldliness. I like to call that "living redemptively." It's that "in but not of" type of living Jesus prayed for us the night before he died. Groothuis writes, "When worldly though patterns prevail, forms of culture are adopted (whether knowingly or unknowingly) that are God-resisting and dehumanizing; idols are embraced instead of exposed; the relative is absolutized and the absolute relativized."

He goes on to cite one of my heroes of the faith, Jacques Ellul, a sociologist I was first introduced to in college: "The Christian has a prophetic mission to try to think before events become inevitable." That's what I hope our CPYU Digital Kids Initiative will do. I hope that pastors, parents, youth workers and kids adopt a lifestyle of thinking Christianly about these and all other matters.

Re-reading this book reminded me that we need to settle down, stop, reflect, get our bearings, and even embrace 14-year-old thought that we increasingly are led to believe (erroneously) has a very short shelf life.

And for those fearing where I may be headed. . . no. . . I'm not becoming a Luddite.

Are We Making A Digital Mess? . . .

2011-08-09T07:32:00.004-04:00

The changes continue. Some are good. Some are troubling. All of us must be thinking about how to live redemptively with the changes in the midst of the changes. . . and then endeavoring to do so. That's what discipleship is all about isn't it? I was reminded of the pressing need to obediently integrate faith into all of life when I saw this morning that Senator Mark Hatfield had died. Hatfield was one of those icons who pushed the integrated faith agenda in a high-profile way when I was a college student. He talked seriously about these things he lived when he spoke to me and thousands of other college students at the Jubilee Conference thirty-some years ago.

Yep. Huge cultural change requires thoughtful reflection centered on biblical truth. That's certainly true as we inhabit the fast-expanding digital frontier. My eyes, ears, and mind have been especially tuned into this reality over the course of the summer as I've focused my time on our new Digital Kids Initiative here at CPYU, the first-fruit of which will be presented in a seminar at this fall's National Youthworkers Conventions.

In the same newspaper that informed me of Hatfield's death this morning, I took a look a close look at one of the two full-pages devoted to comics. Almost one-third of the comics on the page included explicit or implicit references none of us would have understand in a pre-Google, YouTube, email, texting, etc. world. Just seven years ago several of the comics would have left us confused and scratching out heads. But living the last few years on the digital frontier left me laughing.

On another page of this morning's newspaper there was an article about Pages. . . House Pages that is. This is the 200-year-old program that in recent years has enlisted high school students to serve as messengers for Congress while affording them an opportunity to learn first-hand about our U.S. Government. But the $5 million program can no longer be justified in the digital age that's ushered in electronic delivery mechanisms. There just isn't anything for them to deliver anymore. I was a bit saddened by the news as just two months ago I wrote a recommendation for a young friend who was trying to get into the program.

I've been thinking a lot about how life has changed, what we can celebrate, and what we must be paying extra special attention to in this new age of digital explosion. One of the trends I've discovered in my reading and research is that far too many people are accepting change without much thought or critique. On the other hand, those who are sounding warnings - which in many ways are deeply prophetic - linger in the shadows preaching to the choir while naysayers write off their thoughtful critique as over-reaction or alarmist. But the more I read, the more I realize that what they're saying is accurate, and the "frogs" who should be listening are content to boil away without even knowing it. . . at least not yet.

One of the most intriguing and thought-provoking books I've read this summer is Maggie Jackson's Distracted: The Erosion of Attention and the Coming Dark Age. Jackson believes that we are nurturing a culture of diffusion, fragmentation, and detachment. Eventually, it's all going to come crashing down and Jackson - along with others - will be saying "I told you so." I think she's on to something. As I've watched others and myself mingle with all the wonderful stuff afforded to us by life on the digital frontier I've seen far-too-much non-engagement from a biblical perspective. You know. . . the kind of critical thought that says "Hey. . . we might be getting ourselves in too deep here." Idolatry is like that, you know.

In a chapter on "Awareness," Jackson chronicles how our culture has changed just in the way we eat. She tells of a lunch with Dunkin' Donuts Regina Lewis, who serves as head of consumer insight for the brand. Lewis says that Americans want to eat. What they want to eat can't be drippy, crumbling, or spillable. I got to thinking. . . isn't that what a good donut is all about?!? The reason for these preferences is that we are now spending more time eating in our cars and we don't want to spill on or stain our clothes. It's for this reason that non-spillable pizza slice has been developed. . . one you can turn upside down without having anything fall off! Consider these little snippets from Jackson:

-Nearly half of all American say they eat most meals on the go or away from home.

-40 percent of our food budgets are now spent on eating out, compared with a quarter in 1990.

-25 percent of restaurant meals are ordered from the car, up from 15 percent in 1998.

-Even the notion of what constitutes a "meal" has changed. Americans report that 20 percent of their "meals" aren't breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Snacking is now the norm and we fit in "meals" whenever we can.

We're busy, on-the-go, constantly moving. We don't eat together as families anymore. . . or at the very least, rarely. We are perpetually moving. And in a digital world, we are moving even when we are sitting still.

What are the issues this raises in relation to faith and life? What must we be challenging ourselves and the emerging generations to be thinking and doing if we/they hope to live faithfully in this brave new world?

I believe change is a good thing. But if we accept change blindly, we'll be blind to what that change just might be doing to us.

I Am Grateful Today. . . .

2011-07-29T21:37:00.003-04:00

The last year has flown. God has been good. I am grateful to Him. The words to this, one of my favorite hymns, have taken on significant meaning for me over the course of the last year.

How firm a foundation, ye saints of the Lord,
Is laid for your faith in His excellent Word!
What more can He say than to you He hath said,
You, who unto Jesus for refuge have fled?

In every condition, in sickness, in health;
In poverty’s vale, or abounding in wealth;
At home and abroad, on the land, on the sea,
As thy days may demand, shall thy strength ever be.

Fear not, I am with thee, O be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid;
I’ll strengthen and help thee, and cause thee to stand
Upheld by My righteous, omnipotent hand.

When through the deep waters I call thee to go,
The rivers of woe shall not thee overflow;
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless,
And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine.

Even down to old age all My people shall prove
My sovereign, eternal, unchangeable love;
And when hoary hairs shall their temples adorn,
Like lambs they shall still in My bosom be borne.

The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose,
I will not, I will not desert to its foes;
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,
I’ll never, no never, no never forsake.

Soli Deo Gloria.

"Divided" The Movie. . . . Hmmmmmm. . . . .

2011-07-29T07:46:00.004-04:00

Over the course of the last couple of weeks I've had several friends contact me for my thoughts about a new film - Divided - that blasts away at youth ministry as we know it. Since I've lived in the youth ministry world my entire life, they thought I should have some opinion. To be honest, I hadn't heard of the film but when time finally allowed, gave it a watch. . . just in the last hour in fact. What's most interesting to me is that as soon as I logged onto the film's site (you can watch it there), I realized that I not only knew the guys who had made the film, but I met them when they emailed me several requests to be interviewed for the film. . . and then they spent probably close to an hour interviewing me on film. And yes. . . I'm in the movie. . . for about 5 seconds!

Let me say that it does strike me as odd that filmmakers who asked to include me in a film they made never contacted me to let me know that the film had even been released, that I should give it a watch, and that they might want to hear my response. That serves to confirm my feeling about the film after one initial viewing - that this is an extremely biased film that was not made as a result of Philip Leclerc's stated desire to embark on a fact-finding journey, but rather that the film was conceived and made with a bias and agenda that existed long before the first clip was ever shot. To be honest, I had forgotten about my interview with film-making brothers Philip and Chris Leclerc back in 2010 at the Simply Youth Ministry Conference in Chicago. I remember feeling like they never really explained to me what they were trying to accomplish with their film, but I granted the interview anyway. Philip and Chris are genuinely nice guys, but I recall walking away from the interview sensing there was an agenda. . . I just wasn't sure what it was. Now I know.

Divided is a not so much a documentary as it is a promotional piece for the National Center for Family Integrated Churches. . . a reality that left me feeling snookered and manipulated as a viewer. Being conservative and reformed in my own theology, I have been vaguely aware of this organization and some of its more high-profile champions. As I understand it, NCFIC endeavors to promote what they understand to be a biblical approach (or the ONLY approach)to the spiritual formation of children, which includes the elimination of any and all age-segregated programming in the church, including Sunday School and youth ministry. These champions trace youth ministry's lineage to paganism, evolutionary theory, and men who were rebellious against God. Leclerc spends most of his interview time in the film with these high-profile, intelligent, and well-spoken champions.

I'm sure that I'll be watching Divided again soon, and thinking more deeply about it's method and message. I know it will be talked about quite a bit in the youth ministry world and so it should be. In the meantime, let me pass on some random thoughts and responses in no particular order. Know that these are somewhat incomplete, but here's my start in what will be an ongoing process, I'm sure. . . .

-Divided is a film that asks some very good questions and addresses some issues in youth ministry and the church that must be addressed. There are things we need to repent of in youth ministry. . . our lack of depth, our willingness to jump in and think we can supplant the Biblical design for the parental nurturing of children in the faith, that we've relied too much on programs and fun and games, etc. In fact, these criticisms that are leveled from "outside" the youth ministry world by NCFIC are many of the very same criticisms that loads of us have been working diligently, prayerfully, and biblically to address from within for decades. It troubles me that none of that was ever included with any depth or honesty.

-Viewers need to remember that what they are seeing and hearing in the film is mediated. Sadly, it's mediated in an imbalanced manner. I know that the Leclerc brothers shot hours and hours of video that has been boiled down to the one hour that remains. The comments that were chosen for inclusion serve the film's agenda well. I wonder how many of the comments from kids and youth workers at the film's start were taken out of context, chosen to prove a point, etc. I also wonder how many that could have been included that might cast a more positive light on youth ministry and what God is doing were left on the cutting room floor. Any of us could choose commentary from teenagers that casts our particular message in a good light, while casting those who think differently in a more negative light. That's what happened here.

-The problem of the stunted spiritual growth of the emerging generations is complex and multi-faceted. Yes, a lack of father-involvement is key. In fact, many in youth ministry are addressing that. And yes, youth ministry that's more about fun and games than taking kids from a diet of milk to one of meat is a real problem. But what about consumerism in our culture and our church? Has that played a role in people serving idols rather than the one true God? What about all the creature-comforts we enjoy that supplant an opportunity to suffer and thereby passionately seek and rely on God? What about poor preaching? Divided is too simple in it's analysis, diagnosis, and prescription.

-How about a film on the numbers of young people who grow up in homes who are doing what NCFIC prescribes who are not walking with the Lord?

-The interview with Ken Ham was especially troubling to me. I wonder if Ken Ham has ever gone to a youth group where the youth worker understands his/her role as a secondary spiritual support, where the Bible is taught, and where deep thinking is encouraged? And, when did holding to a "young earth" view become the litmus test for spiritual maturity?

-I'm afraid that Divided and its message is rooted in a dualistic view that splits God's world into separate sacred and secular realms. There is a thread of poor understanding of common grace and general revelation woven in and throughout the film's message and theology.

-Can youth ministry and father-involvement/nurture co-exist? I sure hope so! In fact, I've seen it happen.

-After viewing the film, I'm wondering what we do with Sunday School or any other efforts to age-segregate in order to teach in ways that are cognitively appropriate. Seriously. . . should we jettison separate and simultaneous efforts to teach the parents the deep truths of the Scriptures (meat) while nurturing five-year-olds in another room with the milk of a children's catechism? After all, shouldn't we as parents be going deeper, and deeper, and deeper so that we can effectively nurture our own children?

-On a positive note, I believe that the film asks good questions about age-segregation in worship. It just shouldn't happen. I've been trumpeting that for years and so have many others in the youth ministry community. But again, there are times when we can separate from each other to be nurtured in age-appropriate ways.

So, those are some very initial thoughts about Divided. I can't wait for the conversation to continue. Watch it then weigh in. Overall, I'm concerned that this film, its tone, and its message will wind up being more divisive than constructive. I hope the latter is the case.

One last thought. . . Did God ordain film? The Bible never says that we should use the worldly invention of film to communicate. The Apostle Paul says nothing about film. Seriously. Just saying. . . .

Thank You Lord, for John Stott. . . .

2011-07-28T07:34:00.005-04:00

Last weekend I posed a meal-time question to my wife and a couple of our friends: "If you could choose five influential people from the last 100 years or so and spend one day with each, who would you choose?" I had an unfair advantage as I had already been pondering my list for a couple of weeks. My list included Abraham Kuyper, Francis Schaeffer, Mother Teresa, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and John Stott. All five have taught me something significant about the essence of the Christian faith.

Yesterday, my list became my version of Mitch Albom's five people to meet in heaven as John Stott passed from this life into life eternal. I learned the news during a pause in my bike ride. Checking my phone after hearing a chirp, I spotted an email from our former CPYU Board member and President of John Stott Ministries, David Jones. The email informed me that Stott had passed away just a short time earlier.
Strangely enough, just the day before Scot McKnight had posted the picture you see here on his Facebook page. It's part of a little photo quiz he regularly posts. Scot asked, "Who is this? And what was he famous for?" I quickly posted, "John Stott? If that's Stott, he's known by me for influencing my life and theology in big ways."

From time to time over the course of the last few months I've wondered how much more time Stott would be granted on this earth. To be honest, I was saddened but still smiled as I stood there on the side of the road thinking about his passing. The church has lost a great leader. Stott, however, is realizing all that he lived for. Thankfully, his legacy and leadership will remain through his vast writings.

If I could snap my fingers and have younger Christians, youth workers, and parents become familiar with one theologian, it would be John Stott. His writings are deep yet accessible. They are extremely practical. Stott had a gift for making that which was complex, understandable for people like me. His books Basic Christianity, The Cross of Christ, Evangelical Truth, The Radical Disciple, and The Contemporary Christian are among my favorites. The latter is one that I require students to read. It's powerful, convicting, and life-shaping.

I love this summary of Stott's core values as posted by Mel Lawrenz on The Brook Network. . .

. Make personal devotion to God in Christ our highest priority.

2. Live consistently, with integrity. Resist the temptation to develop a public persona.

3. Develop core disciplines like Scripture reading and mediation, prayer, work and rest.

4. Trust in the unchangeable truth of Scripture. Go deep in our study of it.

5. Prepare public talks with a focus on substance. Look for the connections and orders of our ideas.

6. Value relationships with other leaders. Be a mentor without having to be called a mentor. Follow natural patterns. Don’t reduce discipleship to a program.

7. “Read” the truth of God written in the natural world. Stott was an avid ornithologist. His cumulative knowledge made him a world expert. This was both an avocation and an act of worship. Like many other Christian leaders, Stott practiced a full awareness of God’s presence and work, and that included participating in the Creation with a developing sense of awe and wonder.

In the 24 hours since Stott's passing, I've noticed several people asking others for their favorite Stott quote. That's a hard one. There are so many out there. I'll pass on one that I consistently share in my seminars with youth workers and parents. It captures the essence of our calling as people who are to be in but not of the world. This one's from The Contemporary Christian - “We stand between the Word and the world with consequent obligation to listen to both. We listen to the Word to discover even more of the riches of Christ. We listen to the world in order to discern which of Christ’s riches are needed most and how to present them in their best light.”

Today, I am thanking God for the gift of John Stott.